[Monk tries to find an article in a Sapphire nude magazine, but after seeing its other contents, he looks away, humming nervously]
DLDiane Luden
Are you a religious man, Mr. Monk?
He is now.
“Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy” · Season 2, Episode 8
In this episode: Sharona Fleming (6), Adrian Monk (5), Dexter Larsen (3), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (2), Lt. Randall Disher (1)
That assistant, she called you.
Mm-hmm. Diane Luden.
Yeah, I gave her your name. I figured you'd collect a nice payday after you convinced her she was crazy.
Actually, I think she might be on to something.
We'd like to look at the official file.
Look, there is no D'Souza case. It was an accident. The barbell slipped, crushed his trachea.
He was alone in his apartment on the thirty-fifth floor.
I know.
There was only one way up. It was a private elevator. Nobody else used it.
I know.
The apartment was locked from the inside.
I know.
Are you gonna be cooperating on this or not?
If you two wanna go tilting at windmills, be my guests. But this time, Monk, you're on your own.
Okay, forget it. Let's go. What's our first stop?
Sapphire Mansion. We have an appointment. [This gets Randy's attention]
Sapphire Mansion? You have an appointment?
Yes. Elliot D'Souza controlled that magazine. He was about to pull the plug on Dexter Larsen. I think Larsen might be involved.
Saphhire Mansion. I've never been. Have you ever been?
Once. Ten years ago.
Did your wife find out?
Yeah, I told her. In therapy, we were playing the honesty game.
Red Roof Inn?
Yup. This was before they built the new lobby.
You know, Captain. I think Monk might be on to something. Maybe we should tag along.
Lieutenant, I think you might be right.
Oh, God.
Hey, I'm married. I'm not dead.
Ugh.
[Monk is observing Dexter Larsen's room]
That's strange. Why would he need a mirror on the ceiling?
Try not to think about that now.
[about his life before publishing Sapphire] I was a nerd, publishing my little electronics magazine. I was the kind of guy a woman like you would never talk to.
You still are.
[Monk has reduced a whole room full of Sapphire models to tears reading Trudy's last poem to him]
PPartygoer
[coming in] Anybody want a swim?
MModel
I just want to go home.
2M2nd Model
Me, too.
[Monk is searching Danny Bonaduce's car when Dexter Larsen spots him]
Detective, caddie, car thief. You wear many hats, Mr. Monk. You, uh…you looking for something?
Did you drive this car, Mr. Larsen? Maybe Sunday morning?
Why would you think that?
Somebody was smoking a cigar in here.
Well, a lot of people smoke cigars, Mr. Monk.
Right, but the texture and size of this cigar ash are consistent with those from your precious Cubano de Oros.
Hmmm.
How did you do it?
You mean how did I, uh, rise from humble beginnings to achieve all of this?
No, no. I mean. How did you murder Elliot D'Souza?
What are you talking about? There was no murder. Elliot was alone. The door was locked.
Right. How did you do it?
You've taken a great interest in me, and the truth is I've taken an interest on you too, and your friend Sharona. May I show you something? [produces a photograph from an envelope] My research staff is first rate. She must have been nineteen, maybe twenty. You know what? Th…that's…that's my favorite age. Hungry with no inhibitions. These were taken in Atlantic City. She was using a different name, but my lawyers assure me that the release that she signed is solid. I can publish them anytime I want.
What kind of man are you?
I told you on the golf course, Mr. Monk. I do not lose. Now Sharona, she has a son, how old is he now?
He is twelve.
Twelve. That's an impressionable age. I think we understand each other, don't we? Any more questions about what happened to Elliott?
No.
You can let yourself out.
[Monk and Sharona go to Noelle Winters' apartment]
NWNoelle Winters
Hello.
Noelle. Do you remember me?
NWNoelle Winters
Oh, yeah. From the party. Uh, Mr. Monk.
This is my assistant, Sharona.
Hi.
Do you mind if we come in?
NWNoelle Winters
Uh, sure. Well, you'll have to excuse the mess. I'm still unpacking from my trip.
Noelle, did you know that you were directly below Elliot D'Souza's apartment?
NWNoelle Winters
No. No, I knew he lived in the building.
At the party, you mentioned that Dexter Larsen found this apartment for you.
NWNoelle Winters
Yeah, that's right.
When was that?
NWNoelle Winters
Uh, about a month ago.
And then he sent you out of town?
NWNoelle Winters
Yeah, that's right. To London and Paris on a promotional tour. So, what's all this about anyway? [Monk spots some indentations in the carpet]
Did you make these?
NWNoelle Winters
What?
These indentations on the carpet.
NWNoelle Winters
Uh, maybe. I might have or maybe they came from that chair.
No. No, they're not from the chair.
[Dexter finds the police at his house; Stottlemeyer, Monk and Sharona are waiting for him in his dining room]
What the hell is going on? [Stottlemeyer gives him a search warrant]
Dexter Larsen, that's a warrant, duly sworn, authorizing us to search your house.
BBimbo
Dex, I tried to call you. They've been here an hour. They've been looking everywhere!
Looking for what?
Looking... for proof that you killed Elliot D'Souza.
Mr. Monk, are you serious? [notices that his Carvasia is lying on the dining room table] My Carvasia. I told you not to touch that!
Sorry, I'll get it. [He starts to grab for it]
No! No! Don't touch it. I'll do it. It's very valuable. [He tries to pick it up off the table, but it doesn't budge; Sharona stares at Dexter oddly]
Is there a problem?
What's wrong? Pick it up. Can't weigh more than fifteen pounds.
All right. What did you do? Did you glue it down?
Excuse me, if I may. [He picks it up with ease] No, not glued. Your turn. [Dexter tries to pick it up again, but it is stuck to the table] We found it, Dexter.
Found what?
The magnet that you built. [Stottlemeyer moves aside a dining table chair, revealing that Randy is holding a large magnet to the underside of the table]
Randy, you can come out now, unless you're enjoying yourself down there. [Randy gets up, carrying the large magnet with him]
What's this supposed to be?
What, you don't recognize that? We found it in your workshop. It had fingerprints all over it. [to Monk] Go ahead.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.