Twinkletits quotes from Metalocalypse

Skwisgaar

You slapped at my face.

No, I didn't!

Nathan Explosion

You should know that we don't really let anybody in here.

Relax, Tonto, don't get all neurotic on me, jeez. I'm just going to observe you all. Now I want you all to be yourselves. Act like I'm not here, go!

Pickles the Drummer

Don't worry, I've been tryin' to do that since yeh got here.

Well then it shouldn't be a problem then, should it, SMARTASS?!

Pickles

Dude, no hitting.

... with considerable pressure, the hard and marble-like lens can jettison back into their own eyes, blinding them.

Nathan

Huh...I didn't know that.

William Murderface

I did. [sticks food into his mouth with his knife; Twinkletits enters the room]

Band meetin' everyone, BAND MEETIN'!

Pickles

Dude, you may be a therapist, but you can't call a band meeting!

Yes I can! For the purpose of these exercises, I am a band member! To reward Toki for great work today, I should like to give him something that the rest of you may one day earn.

[whispers] The banana sticker! [heavenly chorus sounds]

Murderface

How come he gets a banana sticker? Don't I get one?

No, Murderface, you do not get a banana sticker, not until you have proven yourself! Until then, these banana stickers shall remain locked in here.

What happened back there?

Murderface

I don't care.

Hey, I've got an idea. [Removes glasses.] Let's rock talk!

Murderface

No!

C'mon, don't you wanna get in touch with you know, your - your inner dude?

Murderface

No thanks, I hate that guy.

Now we're getting somewhere! Let's rock talk about that!

Murderface

I don't wanna.

Hmm. What a shame, you know. Guess I'll just have to, you know, hold onto all these banana stickers, I got like a million -

Murderface

[eyes widen] Okay, I'll rock talk.

Good. I want you to tell me about young Murderface. Tell me a nice story about when Murderface was just a little tiny boy.

Murderface

Well, okay, here goes.

How could I ever marry you?! I kill you! Here goes!

And now I kill myself! First my left leg! Good! [voice gets more anguished] Now the right! [voice gets even more anguished and lower] Now the arm! [voice gets lower and more halting] NOW MY FAAAACE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Murderface

Yeah, that was good rock talk.

Hey, ah, this is John Twinkletits, ah. Remember me? I was in the Amazlingtons with you. Just want to let you that I'm in another band and we're called Dethklok. No big whoop. No big whoop. Just give me a call back whenever you can, but then again you probably can't BECAUSE I KILLED YOU.

Toki

I'm telling you he's crazy.

Murderface

How could you say something like that? He's a genius.

Nathan

Alright, this is getting completely out of control. Twinkletits thinks he's in our band. I think we gotta fire 'em.

Toki

Wait, we can do that?

Nathan

Yeah. I just found out we can fire anybody we employ.

Can we's fires ourselves?

Nathan

Yeah, no, I... I found that out too.

Pickles

Can we give ourselves a raise?

Nathan

Yeah, I mean I think so. Don't quote me on that, but I think we can.

Pickles

Oh, dude, then I, you know I give myself a raise right now.

Ja, I give me a raise too.

Toki

I give myself a solid gold telephone.

Murderface

I give myself a bunch of boats. Wit' a bunch of... Vietnamese people on 'em... on fire.

Pickles

Dudes. I just thought about something. If we fire Twinkletits, then we ain't gonna see no more banana stickers.

Nathan

Hey! We been thinkin', not very hard, but... You're fired! Yeah. We hate you.

I'm sorry, what?

Murderface

Hey it's not that bad. You know I pride myself on being able to pit people against each other, but you're amazing, you're a real dick. And I appreciate that, but we never want to see you again, you ugly idiot dick!

Hold on for a second, I am your therapist.

I ain't no therapist, but I hate your mustache.

Don'ts you wants a banana sticker?

Nathan

We won't be needing your banana stickers.

Nathan

We have found out that you can just, you know, buy psychological validation, so...

You sons of bitches! HOW DARE YOU! I AM the band! You can't kick me out! I'll kick you out! YOU'RE ALL FIRED, you buncha stupid pussies! I'LL KILL YOU! [slips on a banana sticker and flies out the window] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [he falls several stories and lands on the ground] I'm still alive! I'm still- [the yard wolves appear] AUUGGGHH ...