Scenes with Seth 7
SSeth
So I took a music management course at a Wisconsin state prison, ya' know, can you believe that crap?
He's a manager! [tense music starts] He's gonna make an office above the garage!
SSeth
Hell yeah! I manage like five bands in D block. You know? For good! You ever heard of the Twixies? It hasn't gotten out yet, but you know, I record some stuff, then hit the phones, I'm so good! It blew my mind! [tense music gets louder] I just wanted to talk to you, dude... we should start a frickin' label! Can you imagine that? You know? Brothers in business? I would be in charge of numbers. You just play the music, play those rat-a-tat-tat, play those drums. And I want to do it plenty, and big fans and labels. [tense music stops suddenly]
Awwm lemme outta here, I gotta pee-pee!
SSeth
All I'm sayin' is that I did most of the numbers right? [tense music starts] So I did most of the work right? So all I need, is percentage. What I need to get started, get the labeling, you know. Phones. Chicks to answer the phones, desks, all that stuff. [tense music gets louder] Just need a couple bucks. You just sign a check, [holds up a check] see? I already wrote a check. Right there, you just sign. Alright. I know what your PIN number is. That's not a threat. So just - I'm the real deal, okay. I'm no one of those frickin' assholes you meet sometimes. [Pickles putts the golf ball]
[tense music stops] Why don't we talk about this cool stuff when I come over and visit next weekend?
SSeth
I'll remember that. You just tell me, where and when. Send me a plane ticket, send me an e ticket.
TIME TO GO! Time to go! Everyone get packed up... where's the folks? He - heyyyyy -
Ugh. Can't comes even faster. This sour stomach ever since my mom's been here?
Toki hasn't said one word!
[still catatonically silent]
Maybe they died in their sleep.
SSeth
[approaches Dethklok members] Alright dudes, may I have a word with you?
Oh, not now bro, we gotta see everybody off for now, for good, to the airport! Guhhh... where are they?
SSeth
Okay, here's the deal. Everyone's in the studio right? We're gonna have a lil' pow-wow.
SSeth
We are going to do a Dethklok family Death metal album! There it is, I said it. Okay? And I got it all figured out. Everybody's on board. Now we can all enjoy the fruits of our talents! After all, [to Pickles] hey, you're my little brother. I friggin' love you. But you got all your ideas about music from me first! [tense music starts] The idea to become a rock n' roll star, that was mine. So face it; you owe me! [Pickles starts to choke him, causing him to stutter] You'll be making a percentage!
For once it is not about the money! I don't want my parents doing a fucking metal album!
SSeth
[still being choked] I can't take this away from them! We're family!
The hell you talkin' about?!
We are the most brutal band in the world! What do any of you know about being brutal?
Now you guys better check out or you'll has each other's lunch for dinners!
Oh, you gutless pieces of living garbage! You think you know what it's like to be brutal? [sprays William with pepper spray]
Can you imagine cleaning the feculent crud off this moron's diapers every morning? [sprays William again]
Let me tell you billionaire lowlives something, there's nothing, NOTHING, in this world more brutal and grotesque than raising children!
SSServetta Skwigelf
I could never lose the weight after you were born! And look at the veins in my bosom, they're like a roadmap of Stockholm!
OEOscar Explosion
I used to be happy... until you! When I started spending all my time with HER, and I spent all my beer money on little kid's clothes! That's brutal!
Look, Pickles! Look how great your brother’s doing!
...uh, where am I looking?
What, you converted the attic.
Look, he has an all-in-one fax-machine! [The fax machine is sitting on a piece of wood propped up by cinder-blocks.] He’s a professional! Go give him a hug!
SSeth
Feels good, doesn't it? Fuck yeah. Hugging your own brother. Being close to his fuckin' face like this. [unintelligible...lots of swearing]. Look at fuckin' Dethklok in my fuckin' house-room! Ha! I'm calling Mitch and Bobby, they won't fuckin' believe this. I'm fuckin' excited about you guys throwin' me a bachelor party! Fuck! Oh, and by the way, this is little Amber, the love of my fuckin' heart. Wanna see an angel, go on, turn around.
SStripper
How 'bout a H-Job?
Heys, Pickle! Try nots to gets Hepastitis Cs from dats! Yeah, those girls are pretty skankys.
Yeah, those girls are...I'd do 'em.
[nervously] Should we call it a night?
SSeth
Oh no you fuckin' don't, I just fuckin' ordered shots!
He's trying to escape, get him!
Nooo! Nooo, noo, let me go!
[grabs him] What, you were gonna run away and leave us here?!
I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know it was gonna be like this! I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know—[Murderface punches him several times.] Stop hitting me!
Can't help it! [punches him again]
Did you hear that speech, everybody's on his side, they — let's leave...let's leave now, let's go! Let's go!
Don't be stupid, Pickles.
Did you hear him, talkin' about Dethklok business endeavors—
I know, Pickles, I know, look; we can't leave. Not yet. [pause] It's just too funny.
SSeth
Hey, Pickles! I need your uh, y'know, credit card for a second.
He's getting away again, get him!
[desperately] No! No! No—
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Metalocalypse pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Metalocalypse · 448 quotes
