Agent K quotes from Men in Black: The Series

K! Boy, am I glad to see you!

You're never glad to see me, Frank. What's got your tail in a tangle?

I got bit! By a werewolf!

What did he look like?

Terrier. Jack Russel. Mean.

What makes you think that this terrier was a lycanthrope?

Hello!? It bit me! On Halloween night! Under a full moon! You're a bright guy. Do the math.

Don' know why you called me, Frank. Supernatural is outside of MIB jurisdiction.

Who you gonna call?

Recommend a rabies shot. You don't know where that terrier's been.

If I sprout hair at midnight and start howling at the moon, it's gonna be on your head, K!

Slick?

J

Something's going down. I got a big ugly shrub in L's lab.

(to Frank) You went into my lab!?

Thought the sign said "Lavatory". I was gonna bust!

J

Wow. Keys. He he... The LTD?

Executive washroom. Linen towels, cologne dispenser...

J

I'm touched...

J

Space Demon went too far.

Pieces still don't fit, slick.

J

What!? The Space Demon practically confessed! He rubbed out Prey and Predeterminator because he's envious of his imitators. He did Etalffap because he couldn't take being roasted on national TV. And an hour after he told us how much he hated Astrotots, one of them got whacked!

J

You know, I've always wanted to be an astronaut.

You don't have the training, slick.

J

Neither did L. Till MIB gave it to her!

Don't get your head stuck in the clouds, ace. You're of more use to earth on earth.

J

(draws a frowny face) Don't get to drive, don't get to go into outer space...

Alpha

You must have nine lives, K. Let's see if you have any left. [fires repeatedly on the ice below]

J

Good thing the guy's a lousy shot!

He's not aiming at us. Those plasma orbs will melt the ice cap.

J

And?

Flood half the planet.

Alpha

Always so negative, K. Don't you think Nebraska deserves a beachfront?

J

Technology from nine different galaxies and MIB still can't make an alien suit that doesn't itch.

Steady, sport. If we don't convince this gang we're the new Pazzims on the block, an itch will be the least of your worries.

What? So now it is illegal to suntan?

It is when you're wanted in three galaxies.

(reading the stone tablet on the statue) Tamed the Wild Wild West and rescued Baxter from ruin. (speaking to J) You give the sheriff any advice?

J

No.

(reading the stone tablet on the statue) Sheriff V.T. "Slick" Clemens!?

J

Okay, maybe a few small pointers.

We're on the job, pilgrim. Get in, get out, remain as inconspicuous as possible.

J

Not easy. We're gonna stick out like sore thumbs.

Speak for yourself, tenderfoot. (gives his tie a slight pull and his entire suit transforms into a cowboy outfit)

J

(pulls his tie and nothing happens) Hey! Where are my duds!?

Gotta plan ahead.

[Wakes up from his nap after hearing the bell ring]] K! J! What brings you here?

Pair of insects.

J

We think they've been power shopping.

You check Bloomie's? They have a much larger selection. [K blows Jeebs' head off, then it grows back] When will I learn?

J

Blind, and you still saved the world.

Couldn’t have done it without my partner.

J

True. So, maybe I earned a little quality time with the LTD?

My thoughts exactly. Why don’t you start with a wash and wax?

J

What?! [J turns to the camera with a a disappointed look on his face]

J

Since when is [Agent L] a field agent!?

Since 7:00 this morning.

J

But I thought...

N-nn. Still too green to be paired with a recruit.

J

Green!? Kermit the Frog is green! I'm...

Easy, partner. That's the chief you're mouthing off to.

Read us a story.

J

And keep it down to a low growl.

Hieroglyphics from the old kingdom. 3500 BC. "To release the demon within is to doom the world".

Any mention of Socclarian?

That's the ancient name of the magical scepter that the mummy will use to bring death, destruction, and pestilence. If you believe in that kind of mumbo jumbo.

[The mummy] spoke. Something like "social" or "soccal" or...

Socclarian?

Hey! The dog! It talked!

You've been working too many nights. (neuralizes the guard)