Prescott quotes from M*A*S*H ... TV Quotes Database

General Prescott

You look familiar, Colonel. Do I know you?

PPotter

I don't think so, General.

Prescott

Were you in World War II?

PPotter

Yes, sir.

b>Prescott: I knew you looked familiar!

S7 B.J. Papa San

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[Charles and Hawkeye are trying to secure the Justice Department's assistance through a disinterested Roger Prescott; Hawkeye is getting more irritated as Mr. Prescott keeps leaving the room]

Hawkeye

If he tries to leave the room one more time, he's gonna be a diplomatic corpse.

Charles

Now, you see, Pierce? This is precisely the reason that I am needed here. Your pugnacious attitude will accomplish nothing.

Hawkeye

Ooh, but it'll make me feel so good!

Charles

You're clearly out of your element here. This is a time for civility and graciousness; there is no room for rancor.

Hawkeye

How about just one bolo punch?

Charles

Look. If you wish to accomplish our objective, you will leave this to me. I'm well-versed in the verbal art of thrust and parry, give and take.

Hawkeye

Kick and gouge.

Charles

Sit there, keep your mouth shut. I will orchestrate these proceedings to a successful-

[Prescott returns to his office]

Prescott

Well, so much for that.

Hawkeye

[sarcastic] Delightful for you to drop in on us again.

Prescott

Can you imagine, those cretins were actually going to seat the deputy chargé d'affaires next to a sumo wrestler!

Hawkeye

[more sarcastic] Oh! How gauche!

Charles

[glancing at Hawkeye] Yes, these are trying times.

Hawkeye

Yes, they certainly are.

Charles

They take one's attention away from the important issues at hand. For example, the disposition of the unfortunate child we were discussing.

Prescott

Yes, the child.

Hawkeye

The one we want to send to the States. That child.

Prescott

Yes. Well, the answer's no.

Hawkeye

No? Just like that? No?

Charles

Pierce. Mr. Prescott, surely you will agree that this is a decision that should not be made in haste; there must be some discussion.

Prescott

Actually, none whatsoever.

S8 Yessir, That's Our Baby

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Hawkeye

Look, Prescott, this "unattended juvenile" you're so blithely dismissing could conceivably be murdered in the name of racial purity. You got space on your application for that?!

Charles

Pierce, I'm handling this, remember?

Prescott

There's nothing to handle. The Immigration and Naturalization Service, by statute, has strict quota restrictions. My hands are tied.

Hawkeye

Now there's an idea!

Charles

[elbows Hawkeye] Just a moment. There are always alternatives.

Prescott

Not in this case, Major.

Charles

[trying to maintain composure] Mr. Prescott, I have friends of considerable influence.

Prescott

Gentlemen...

Charles

Congressmen.

Prescott

...you are wasting my time.

Charles

Senators.

Prescott

Please believe me, this is departmental policy.

Charles

Cabinet members.

Prescott

There can be no immigration under the circumstances you have set forth.

Charles

Captains of industry.

Prescott

Good day.

[Losing his temper, Charles slams his peaked cap on Prescott's desk and jumps to his feet]

Charles

There's nothing good about it, Mr. Prescott! We are discussing a little girl! A human being who is facing a life of misery! An issue infinitely more important than you and your stupid seating arrangements!

Hawkeye

Charles-

Charles

Shut up, Pierce! [Prescott's desk telephone buzzes; Charles snatches up the handset] Mr. Prescott is in conference; let them eat out! [hangs up]

Prescott

How dare you-

Charles

You smarmy bureaucratic microbe; you're going to that dinner breathing through your FLY!

[Charles tries to attack Prescott, who flees while Hawkeye restrains Charles]

Hawkeye

Run for your life, Prescott, it's a wild boar!

S8 Yessir, That's Our Baby

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