Captain Hildebrand quotes from M*A*S*H

Henry

There's nothing wrong with Klinger. I mean, he goes out with girls.

Captain Hildebrand

Must be stealing their clothes.

Captain Hildebrand

Childish. Not childlike, with its connotations of innocence and joyous abandon, but childish. You delight in petty bickering, summer-camp capers, and in general, behave in a manner ill befitting officers in the United States Army, and members of the medical profession. It is, to some degree, understandable. You are, after all, only three miles from the front. You would not be the first people to crack under the stress of war.

Frank Burns

I resent that, Captain. I, for one, have not cracked because of the war.

Hawkeye Pierce

That's true, Captain.

Frank Burns

Thank you, Pierce.

Hawkeye

Frank showed up here cracked, with a Bible in one hand, and a pair of shorts that said, 'Hold Me' in the other.

Captain Hildebrand

These guys make a gin that can melt your dog tags.

Hawkeye Pierce

It's from a recipe first brewed in Herman Goering's navel, and then handed down from war to war.