There's nothing wrong with Klinger. I mean, he goes out with girls.
Must be stealing their clothes.
“Divided We Stand” · Season 2
In this episode: Hawkeye Pierce (4), Captain Hildebrand (3), Frank Marion Burns (2), Trapper John McIntyre (1), Henry Blake (1)
[orders breakfast] I'll have two scrambled powdered eggs and a slice of World War II surplus bread, and don't make it tasty.
What is that?
What is what, Frank?
Why is someone's appendix in my boot?
Because the other one is full of tonsils, Frank.
PSP.A. System
Attention all personnel. Colonel Blake, at 17:00 hours, will deliver his weekly lecture. Tonight's subject will be "Togetherness". The "togetherness" lecture will be followed by a talk on the perils of trench mouth.
Childish. Not childlike, with its connotations of innocence and joyous abandon, but childish. You delight in petty bickering, summer-camp capers, and in general, behave in a manner ill befitting officers in the United States Army, and members of the medical profession. It is, to some degree, understandable. You are, after all, only three miles from the front. You would not be the first people to crack under the stress of war.
I resent that, Captain. I, for one, have not cracked because of the war.
That's true, Captain.
Thank you, Pierce.
Frank showed up here cracked, with a Bible in one hand, and a pair of shorts that said, 'Hold Me' in the other.
These guys make a gin that can melt your dog tags.
It's from a recipe first brewed in Herman Goering's navel, and then handed down from war to war.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.