Charles Winchester quotes from M*A*S*H

Charles

If I don't find a way to hear some music soon, I'm gonna lose what is left of my mind.

Why don't you ask Margaret to let you play your records on her new record player?

Charles

I'd sooner share my toothbrush with a Democrat.

Maybe you could go over to the O-Club and play 'em on the jukebox. Nobody there this early.

Charles

That is tantamount to asking Michelangelo to paint the ceiling of Woolworth's.

Winchester

All I have to do is invert a helmet on the table with a sign saying "Charity. Please contribute."

You would have about as much luck as putting a sign next to the oven saying "Hot stove. Please stand on it."

Charles

Just a minute! You handle our food and dig latrines?

Don't worry, sir. I always wash my hands before I dig the latrines.