[Jake, Grandpa Luong, Spud, Trixie, and Fu Dog arrive on Kauai]
Look at these chumps, Grandpa. They don't even know how bad I'm gonna school them. That Velociraptor 1200 is mine, yo.
LGrandpa Luong
We did not come all the way from New York City merely for skateboard prizes, Jake. You are the American dragon. You have a responsibility.
Yeah, I know, protect magical creatures. But for real, Gramps, how am I supposed to find all these undisguised magical creatures you've been hearing about?
LGrandpa Luong
Just keep your eyes open, young dragon.
[stopping Stitch and Jake Long's fight, while still in the form of Jake Long] Stop it! Both of you! This is all my fault. I think it's time for the truth. My real name is Lilo, and I'm actually a little Hawaiian girl under the influence of an alien shapeshifter.
Cool, but, I mean, why did you turn into me?
Well, there's this guy. I was trying to win the Velociraptor 1200 for him. You know, so he'd like me.
SSpud
For real. If a girl did that for me, my heart would be hers forever.
TTrixie
What are y'all tryin' to do here, mess up the little Hawaiian girl's head for life?! Lilo, listen to little mama Trixie. You can't buy anybody's love. It's gotta come all from up in here. [gestures to her chest] You feel me?
I feel you. [to Jake] I'll stop being you as soon as Stitch and I find Experiment 316.
Experiment 316? That's what the big shark alien kept calling me.
SSpud
The land shark?! [to Trixie] I told you!
Big land shark alien? Gantu's got him! We have to get Experiment 316 back… or I'll be Jake Long forever! Anybody up for a rescue mission?
A rematch with that shark punk? Count us in! Hey, has anybody seen grandpa?
[A shuttle bus carrying the Proud family onboard arrives at the Bed & Not Breakfast]
[seeing the bus approaching] Pleakley, the other guests are here.
OOscar
[steps off the bus and yells angrily at the driver] Next time, why don't you try to hit every pothole?!
Aloha, Mr. Proud. Welcome to Kauai. [puts a lei necklace on around him]
OOscar
[to his wife] Look at this, Trudy. Ain't been here five minutes, and they're already tryin' to sell me stuff.
TTrudy
Oscar, its Hawaiian hospitality. Aloha.
Interstingly, "Aloha" is Hawaiian for "Everybody must be quiet. Shh."
SMSugar Mama
[loudly] What's Hawaiian for "Where's the bathroom?!"
Aloha. [puts a lei necklace on around Penny after she's the last person to step off the bus] I'm Lilo, and this is my dog, Stitch.
Aloha, Lilo. I'm Penny Proud. That's a cute… Uh, dog, did you say?
You're gonna love Kauai. There's tons of fun stuff to do.
Yeah. Oh, but I have to write an article for my school paper while I'm here. That won't be much fun.
I think you'll be very happy with the customized relax and wrestle package we put together for you.
Oh, yes. The Prouds are here to see Wizard Kelly's smack-up throwdown Hawaiian style, y'all.
OOscar
I should've known Wizard Kelly put us up in a 2x4.
[While Oscar and Trudy lay out on a hammock and kiss, Experiment 397 appears and zaps them both, causing them to start arguing]
OOscar
Why you giving me that ugly look?!
TTrudy
Me ugly?! Your face is so ugly, it could make onions cry!
OOscar
Well, when I look at you, I cry!
TTrudy
Ok, I'm out of here!
OOscar
Good! Your hips are taking up all the room!
CMr. Cooper
Mr. Jumba, I came here to find, ahh, peace, and shh, quiet.
But, Mr. Cooper, sir… [Experiment 397 zaps both him and Mr. Cooper, causing them to argue] Would be more quiet if you closed your big mouth!
CMr. Cooper
What?! You will treat me with respect, sir!
Will not! [covers Mr. Cooper's face with barbecue sauce]
What happened while we gone?
I'm sure everything is fine.
[Experiment 397 appears in front of them and follows the others]
Please tell me that's just what a cat looks like on Kauai. [catches up with Lilo and Stitch as they run up to the house] Hey, wait up! I thought you were gonna show me the blowhole after lunch!
Uh, change of plans. Maybe you should write an article about catching that cat?
I can't change it now. My articles is about a Hawaiian vacation.
It'll all work out if you just roll with it. I promise.
[finds Experiment 397 on Jumba's computer] Here he is, Stitch. "Experiment 397: Invented to start people arguing."
[concerned] Why would anyone invent that?
I guess when people are fighting, they don't notice someone else taking over their planet.
Oh, I never thought of that.
If you think like an evil scientist, it makes perfect sense.
Well, did he invent a way to stop people from arguing?
[Experiment 397 zaps at Mrs. Hasagawa giving a woman some of her mangoes, Luki giving a shave ice cone to a customer, and Mary and Charles, causing them all to start arguing]
HMrs. Hasagawa
What do you mean, my mangoes aren't fresh?!
LLuki
What do you mean, my shave ice isn't fresh?!
What do you mean, getting fresh with me?!
But dear, it's our honeymoon!
