[while Lilo finds out that Snooty sucks mucus from people, Victoria teams up with Gantu to capture Snooty; Pleakley drives Lilo and a drowsy Stitch to Snooty's mountain lair really slowly]
These are steep mountain roads. Safety first driving techniques demand that I take control of the vehicle at all times.
This thing flies, you know.
[gasps] Flying?! Through these jagged canyons?!
[Stitch pulls a lever, causing the buggy to fly off the road]
Flying?! Flying?! Can't keep the eye on the road when I'm flying!
[Victoria learns that Gantu was using her as bait to lure Snooty to him; she stops Gantu and sets Snooty free]
You were right, Lilo. He's not a monster at all. I should have trusted you.
You were kinda right, too. Snooty actually is a vampire. You know, a snot vampire.
No wonder he kept chasing me! My allergies! [Snooty leaps up to Victoria's face and sucks the mucus out through her nose] I can breathe!
Maybe he could come live with me.
He could keep my sinuses clear!
[starts the engine of the buggy] Ah-ha! Finally! [drives the buggy in reverse and crashes into Gantu's jet] I hope he had insurance.
[625 is channel-surfing as Gantu returns]
No, I didn't capture the experiment.
6625
Oh, hey, Gantu! Hi! You're home early, aren't ya?
625, that's not the sandwich channel. When did we get the cable back?
6625
Ah, y'know, just now. Right this second! Amazing coinkeydink, huh?
It was never out! You just said that so you could have it all to yourself!
6625
I always said you were a semi-intelligent species.
6625
Eh, you live, you learn.
[Nani is practicing for an interview with Lilo and Stitch]
As you know, I am a hard loyal worker. And I think I'm overdue for a raise, or a promotion, or maybe a raise and a promotion.
[imitates Mr. Jameson] Are you lolo?
Could you smash a brick with your bare hands?
The vice president of the hotel isn't gonna ask me that.
You have to be prepared for anything.
I am! Except for this hair! What time is it?
Don't worry. You have 20 minutes.
What?! I'll never make it!
[After her interview with the vice president, Nani runs into her junior high school friends, Ellen and Lona]
[excited] What are you doing here?!
We're on vacation, what else? We kept in touch unlike some people.
Sorry. High school was kinda lolo for me. You both look so great!
LLona
Well, you've sure got it goin' on, Ms. Vice President.
Yes. I'm surrounded by success stories. And to think, I only married well.
LLona
You managed to stay here in Hawaii! That's awesome, girl! I mean, I love LA...
But honestly, there's life beyond surfer boys and boogie boarding. Keep Kauai, just give me Park Avenue!
You live in New York? And in LA?
LLona
And you run this beautiful hotel. That must be a blast!
Oh, and Lana's and business, too.
Lona I just own a little cosmetics company. Allen's life is all that. Yachting around the world.
A yacht?! You have a yacht?!
Oh, please, it's a floating hotel, nothing to get all squishy about.
LLona
Oh, it's cool and you know it!
[after Ellen and Lona invite Nani and her family to Ellen's yacht for dinner, assuming she's vice president of the hotel, Nani tells Lilo and Stitch the truth]
So now they think I'm the vice president of the hotel. Isn't that hilarious?
Yeah, especially the part with your lying!
But they're all so successful! And I rent canoes!
Oh, they're lots of people in the world who wish they could rent canoes.
[Pleakley has Lilo, Stitch and Jumba formally dressed up]
Nani said it's supposed to be casual.
When yacht people say "casual", they mean "dress up". Trust me.
Then what do they mean when they say "dress up"?
Oh! When yacht people say "dress up"... I mean, wow! Gold crowns, mirrored sunglasses, leather capes, ruby slippers, I mean, they really dress up!
[after Retro turns Lilo, Jumba, Pleakley, Ellen, and Lona into cavepeople, Stitch captures him and finds the way to reverse the effect; Retro turns Ellen's yacht into a canoe]
The yacht, it's a canoe! Stitch, I can't afford to buy Ellen a new yacht!
[grabs Retro's tongue and then wraps it around the cavepeople, and then spanks Retro in the behind three times] One, two, three!
[Retro releases his tongue, turning Nani's friends and family back to normal]
And why are we drifting toward very sharp rocks?
And why is there ham stuck in my teeth?
[after the group makes it safety to shore..]
So, I'm sorry I lied to you guys. I guess I just wanted you to think I was doing something more important with my life than teaching people how to use one of these.
LLona
What are you talking about? Using one of these saved our lives!
I honestly don't care what you do for a living, Nani. At least you actually work.
LLona
We're just thrilled to see you, girl.
So you rent water sports gear.
LLona
Well, what are we waiting for?
LLona
Oh, come on, Ellen, we're on vacation!
[Jake, Grandpa Luong, Spud, Trixie, and Fu Dog arrive on Kauai]
Look at these chumps, Grandpa. They don't even know how bad I'm gonna school them. That Velociraptor 1200 is mine, yo.
LGrandpa Luong
We did not come all the way from New York City merely for skateboard prizes, Jake. You are the American dragon. You have a responsibility.
Yeah, I know, protect magical creatures. But for real, Gramps, how am I supposed to find all these undisguised magical creatures you've been hearing about?
LGrandpa Luong
Just keep your eyes open, young dragon.
[stopping Stitch and Jake Long's fight, while still in the form of Jake Long] Stop it! Both of you! This is all my fault. I think it's time for the truth. My real name is Lilo, and I'm actually a little Hawaiian girl under the influence of an alien shapeshifter.
Cool, but, I mean, why did you turn into me?
Well, there's this guy. I was trying to win the Velociraptor 1200 for him. You know, so he'd like me.
SSpud
For real. If a girl did that for me, my heart would be hers forever.
TTrixie
What are y'all tryin' to do here, mess up the little Hawaiian girl's head for life?! Lilo, listen to little mama Trixie. You can't buy anybody's love. It's gotta come all from up in here. [gestures to her chest] You feel me?
I feel you. [to Jake] I'll stop being you as soon as Stitch and I find Experiment 316.
Experiment 316? That's what the big shark alien kept calling me.
SSpud
The land shark?! [to Trixie] I told you!
Big land shark alien? Gantu's got him! We have to get Experiment 316 back… or I'll be Jake Long forever! Anybody up for a rescue mission?
A rematch with that shark punk? Count us in! Hey, has anybody seen grandpa?
