Law & Order quotes

You and Detective Green are both good at making people believe what you want them to believe.

We're good at our jobs.

Does your job include breaking the law?

Technically. I've bought drugs from drug dealers and guns from gun runners.

Guns and drugs.

[sarcastically] Sometimes I even break the speed limit in the pursuit of a criminal.

Find this amusing, do you, detective? This is all just a big joke to you?

McCoy

Objection!

Sustained.

Is it fair to say as an undercover you would do whatever it takes to catch the so-called "bad guys", even if it means breaking the law?

We don't break the law. The law allows us to pose as bad guys and lie to bad guys, in order to catch the bad guys.

[yelling] And if you can't catch them, you just kill them? Take the law into your own hands and gun them down to die like dogs in the street? How many people have you killed doing "your job", detective? How many?

McCoy

Your honor!

You are the bad guys, officer! You!

This is a crime scene. It says so right there on the tape.

Cosmetic surgery. It's an epidemic in this country. Whatever happened to aging gracefully?

Serena

Only a man would say that without a trace of irony. Men age gracefully, Arthur. Women just age.

This is a waste of my valuable time. I'm gonna have my lawyers make a complaint to the chief of police.

Hey, how come you rich guys always have to have your lawyers do your talking for you?

Serena

You're going to argue that spousal privilege should only apply to heterosexual relationships?

McCoy

To put a murderer behind bars? Yes.

Serena

Are you sure those nuns didn't get inside of your head, Jack?

McCoy

That has nothing to do with it. I suggest you leave your opinion on sexual politics at the water cooler and help me win this case.

Green

Mr. Whitestone, I hope you got a lot of scripts to read, because you're looking at some serious jail time.

You think so?

Think of it as research for your next role. Only, if I were you, I wouldn't invite a lot of roles for women.

You don't like me for this, do you?

I don't like you, period. But, for this? You tell me: who else should we like?

[to McCoy] Congratulations, counselor. You got me for the one I didn't commit.

Lt. Van Buren

27 eyewitnesses, and the only thing they agree on is "four shots fired".

Green

So, we're looking for a tall, white, Haitian, Hispanic midget with maybe an accomplice, who took the subway?

Or, according to the two starlets I interviewed, drove off in a blue SUV. By the way, they're going to make very believable police officers.

Green

If you don't talk, I'm sure Granados will.

I thought you don't know where he is.

Green

Oh, we're gonna find him. Doctors say in his condition he ain't gonna get that far.

[leans in close and whispers] You know what I've got here, tovarisch? Huh? In about ten seconds, I'm gonna start smilin' like a village idiot and peelin' off hundred dollar bills onto your shiny brass bar.

What are you talkin' about?

And then my partner here is gonna start droppin' "thank yous" and "tell us more" like there's no tomorrow.

Green

Which means, if your friends back there aren't deaf, dumb, and blind, you're gonna have a little trouble.

Don't.... I don't know why he was here. I put him on books as favor.

Green

A favor to who? Andropov? [silence] Where's Granados?

Here comes the first C-note. Is there anything you'd like us to tell your widow?

My client's looking for a big drop-down from the top count.

McCoy

Let me explain the facts of life, Mr. Laval. We go up the food chain, not down. Wheel man, shooter, button man, [gestures to Andropov] chief.

You think Mr. Andropov is all there is to this?

Unless you're offering up Vladimir Putin.

I have diplomatic immunity.

Green

For drug trafficking and murder? I doubt it.

McCoy

So, which is it, Mr. Khaeel. You deny ordering the murders, or the United States government authorized you to do so to protect your identity as a drug dealer?

I don't understand your question.

McCoy

Of course you do. Make a choice in front of this jury. You ordered the murders, or you had no hand in them.

Every day in my part of the world, the United States drops a bomb or fires a missile in order to kill terrorists. Do other people die as a result? Yes, regrettably. But for the greater good. I ordered no murders. I simply dispatched a subordinate to retrieve a product that was stolen from me.

McCoy

Using any means necessary.

I will not answer that.

McCoy

I believe you just did, Mr. Khaleel.

How's Lowenstein?

He's still on the critical list.

I hope he lingers a long time in excruciating pain.

If I was still angry enough to want to kill him, it would mean I was still tied to him emotionally. And I can't afford that.

Even after what he did to you and your children?

You know what I want in life? Not to think about him, not remember him, not talk about him, not hear his name. That's all.