Law & Order quotes

Mr. Swann, do you routinely list killing people as part of your daily calendar?

Mr. Stone, do you routinely lack a sense of humor?

About murder, I have none, sir.

I guess you just weren't clever enough.

I got this far, Ben.

A lot of effort to wind up right back where you started. And in polite society, sir, you don't call people by their first name unless they ask you to. I didn't do that. You're not a friend, and you're certainly not a colleague.

I spent eight years earning the right to call you whatever the hell I want! So who makes the next move?

I want a confession. Not just for the murder of Russell Bobbitt, but for Sid Cohen as well.

And give away my greatest victory?

Take this man back to his cell.

You give up so easy? It doesn't make any sense, Ben. You're being totally impractical. And it's not like you.

Obviously you don't know me. You never did.

Schiff

You can't force the other side to play. You put a check in the win column and you count your blessings.

In any other circumstances, that's exactly what I'd do.

Schiff

Why does this kid deserve such special attention?

Because he's pleading for the wrong reason. His lawyer tells him that he's born bad. We tell him he's raised bad. He buys both stories. Sees his life as a dead end.

Schiff

Maybe he knows his life better than you do. Your job is to convict, not to rehabilitate.

He's a 14-year-old kid who gave up.

Schiff

So you're doing him a favor.

If he gave up his illusions, right, but he gave up hope and I drove him to that. Now anything might happen to that kid in prison.

Schiff

Gary Gilmore. Westley Dodd. Two unrepentant killers. Everybody wants them dead until they agree, and then we turn them into folk heroes.

We had nothing to do with their fates.

Schiff

You want them to start naming churches after you, I'd get another profession. Take the kid's plea. Move on to the next case.

We ask that the defendant be sentenced to a youth facility until his 18th birthday, then transferred to Attica.

Why?

We're trying to save your life, young man.

What's the point?

You have an expert witness?

I do, judge: a psychologist.

Why didn't we hear about this in pre-trial motions?

Gee, Ben, I'm sorry. I was a little late with my legal research.

You knew about this weeks ago; you warned me that this witness would be a problem.

[Hurried] I don't recall that.

Off the record, please. [His scribe stops typing] I can't prove this, Tom, but I think you're lying.

Your honor, I don't think --

Don't play dumb with me. You didn't want Ben to know where you were going. I'll let you have your witness, but one of these days, you're gonna get caught, you'll get disbarred, and I'll be there to applaud.

Schiff

Quick, lock the door; someone might walk in with a case we could win.

Come on, Adam, the jury didn't buy it. Cross-racial identification, it's bogus.

Schiff

I wouldn't count your chickens; your omelette just hit the fan.

Schiff

Young people get impatient with old people. Especially cantankerous ones.

Oh yeah? Speaking from personal experience?

Schiff

I'm a sweetheart. And I'm middle-aged.

Schiff

That girl's lawyer ought to send you a thank you note.

She'll do two years, Adam.

Schiff

Uh-huh, and when she gets out, she'll be what, 24?

25.

Schiff

I'd do two years in Attica happily if I walked out 25.

Before him, the last white guy seen around here was Clinton. And he had the Secret Service.

Mr. Bregman, in all my years of prosecuting, you are possibly the stupidest criminal I have ever met.

[seeing bloody sheets on hotel bed] My God, what happened here?

Briscoe

My guess? The miracle of childbirth.

Logan

[carrying out a baby] If he's a day old, call the Guinness Book of World Records.

Judge Thayer

[to Kincaid, his ex-lover] You weren't my best, but you're proving to be my most expensive.

Your Honor, this is insufficient. The defendant is behaving as if someone else committed this crime.

You want him on his knees, Ben?

Judge Thayer

Walter...

Judge Schreiber, to you. Now, I've heard all the dodging and weaving I can take on this one. You wore the same robes I do, you know the drill. Now, if you want to dance, you can come back and dance at a trial, so let's hear it. All of it.

While justice must be tempered with mercy, it can never lose a sense of retribution, or it is no longer justice.