Hank Rutherford Hill quotes from King of the Hill

Hank Hill

Don't play mind checkers with me, man. I'm not in the mood.

Hank Hill

What did I do to deserve this? I didn't mean to curse my wife to Hell!

Hank Hill

[worried] Ohh...

Hank Hill

Ahhh... AAHH!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!

Hank Hill

Fine. But I think you owe my lawn an apology. *pauses* We're waiting!

Hank

That's not Dale's mower. That's not a mower at all! [reveals to be a bulldozer outside the window] Nooooooo.....!!!!!!

Hank

[To Luanne] Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep talkin'!

Hank

Maybe I should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you down the street!

Hank

(finding Luanne in bed with Buckley) I'm in a crisis situation here, I gotta go find Bobby. You two take turns kicking each other's asses.

Hank

(Shouting to Bobby angrily stumbling around on the roof) It's a roof! Not American Bandstand!

Hank

[sees Kahn testing out his new car, alarming him with these honks] Would you stop that? That horn is for highway emergency use only!

Hank

Where's my finger?

Hank

It seems the other eye compensates by shutting itself down. It's one of nature's wonders.

Hank

Suffering is a part of every religion, Peggy. I mean ... look at what the Jews have been through, and you never hear them complaining.

Hank

Bobby, if you weren't my son I'd hug you.

Hank

[reading a note that Dale left it] "Purpose: Nab Fugitive at 27 Whistler Terrace. Signed, Dale Gribble, Bounty Hunter." [crumbles it up] Damn it, Dale!

Hank

[voice only, inside the room] Aah! Busy! Occupied!