Amy Gray quotes from Judging Amy

Maxine

You know what I read the other day? That Denver, Colorado is moving closer to San Francisco, California by an inch every ten years.

Amy

Is this relevant?

Maxine

An inch every ten years. That's the way the Rocky Mountains were formed, and that's the way the world changes. Not by stamping your foot to get your way. Not even by the bang of a gavel. It's by the choices that we make, you know, all the time. You do what you think is right, every time. Slowly, the world starts to change. That's how we leave our imprint on life -- an inch every ten years.

Amy

Where do you come up with this stuff?

Maxine

I don't know; just pops into my head. It's a curse, really.

Maxine

[about a naked baby picture] My father took that one. If I lose a few teeth and start drooling, I'll be right back there again.

Amy

Wearing a few more clothes, I hope.

Donna

Judge Gray?

Amy

Uh, Donna?

Donna

Are you seeing someone?

Amy

Excuse me?

Donna

You're glowing.

Amy

No, I'm not.

Donna

Oh yeah, you are.

Amy

Donna, I'm not glowing.

Donna

Sorry.

Amy

It's my brother's book! My baby brother. Vincent Gray.

Vincent

She's out on a day pass.

Leesha says she a Libertarian. What's that?

Amy

Somebody who doesn't have children.

Amy

[to Bruce] Well, maybe four hours sleep isn't enough for you, Mr. Smarty-Pants.

Bruce

May I assume since you're calling me "Mr. Smarty-Pants" that the official part of the reprimand is over?

Maxine

Amy, why on earth are you teaching a class at Yale?

Amy

Because they asked me."

Maxine

There's a handy little two-letter word you might want to learn.

Amy

Mom, it's an honor to be asked. You should be congratulating me.

Maxine

I'll congratulate you when you learn how to take a nap.

Amy

Here's a new idea. Why don't you tell her how you feel?

Vincent

What, and let down my whole gender?

Amy

Do you love her?

Vincent

I don't know. What? I'm standing here with a mocha latte talking to my sister about love. My sperm count is plummeting!

Amy

You love her!

Vincent

Shut up! I gotta run.

Amy

God, Peter, when we were growing up you were the cool one. You were the guy in the band. You were the guy who could ditch all your classes and still make straight "A"s. You were looking to legalize marijuana! What happened to that guy? When did you become... this guy?

Peter

Dad died and I grew up. Someone had to.

Life is full of endless opportunities to make a fool of yourself.

Amy

Well, if somebody's keeping score, then I should be heading into the bonus round right about now.

Amy

My friend, Greta, found God.

Bruce

I didn't know He was missing.

Maxine

I never said I broke up with Jared.

Amy

Are you saying you didn't?

Maxine

What I'm saying is whether I did or not is none of your business!

Gillian

I love you, Amy.

Amy

I love you, too.

Gillian

But, I mean, you are way too skinny for someone with such a nice rack.

Sometimes people gotta obliterate everything in their path just to get themselves back on track.

Amy

That's exactly how it feels.

And sometimes innocent people get incinerated because they happen to be too close to the blow.

Amy

Can tuna actually freeze?

Bruce

Apparently so.

Vincent

Hey. Am I interrupting?

Bruce

Just having some tuna Slurpees...