Kyle McCarty quotes from Judging Amy

Kyle

I used to sleepwalk through life, ignorant of the importance beef tallow plays in the flavoring of french fries. Now, I have been enlightened, and the french fry holds no secrets from me.

Kyle

Well, Aunt Max lit the oven for me, but I sliced the sausage of the pre-mixed dough.

Kyle

Maxine, pack up your troubles. Donna's potatoes are here.

Kyle

I'm a scientist and you're an actuary so this is going to sound very weird for me to say, but sometimes there are more important things than numbers.

Kyle

When I die of boredom, you're going to be short a doctor.

Kyle

[As Maxine cries and Peter, Amy, and Lauren hug her, ignoring Kyle] Okay, next time I have a life-altering epiphany, I'm sharing it with another family.

Maxine

Kyle!

Kyle

Thank God you aren't insane.

Maxine

Why?

Kyle

Because I spent most of my childhood trying to make you that way.

Amy

Hey, Kyle. That's not a Jaguar.

Kyle

No, it's not. But it has aspirations.

(to Amy as Kyle walks by) How do you cheat with sex?

Kyle

Alcohol, music, and Viagra.

Peter

I've been reading Robin Hood to Ned.

Kyle

Steal from the rich and give to the poor? You're the quasi-communist, Peter.

Kyle

How do you intend to convince him?

Maxine

I'm going to flirt with him. Oh, come on. You can't tell me you've never tried it.

Kyle

How do you think I passed organic chemistry?

Donna

How was the movie?

Kyle

It was good...Not bad...It sucked.

Donna

Your little friend enjoyed it?

Kyle

She fell asleep.

Donna

Probably malnutrition.

Are you officially giving me permission to use the phone?

Kyle

Call 911 NOW!

Kyle

That girl stole it. The one who died.

Maxine

I am sorry.

Kyle

How do you do it? How do you keep banging your head against the wall every single day without your skull caving in?

Maxine

Well I certainly have my share of headaches, but the wall has a few lumps as well.

Kyle

I work my ass off to get to these kids, to bring them in, let them know that it's going to be ok and then they're gone. They run away or they're dead. Well guess what? I'm done. I wil work at Teen Harbor but I am through with the chasing. If they want help they will come in, fill out the forms and they will ask. I'm through going after them, it's not worth it. No wonder I'm smoking so much.

Maxine

Well, I'm sure you know best. However at this moment you do not know best because if you did, you would shut up! And you would quit using feeling sorry for yourself as an excuse to smoke, and you would know that if you want absolute victories, then you should go back into medicine. We do what we can. We patch them up, send them out there and hope for the best. And we very seldom get it, but we keep going because what the hell else are we going to do?!?

Vincent

It's a little weird. I move away, you just come in and occupy my space?

Kyle

I know.

Vincent

A man likes to feel like he's irreplaceable, and bang, he's replaced.

Kyle

I know.

Vincent

My old room, my old roommate, my seat at Thursday night dinners. My place in the family.

Kyle

I know.

Vincent

You haven't replaced me.

Kyle

I know!