Lauren Cassidy quotes from Judging Amy

How come every time our family goes to church something embarrassing happens?

[to David] Why did you pick my mom? She dumps people. You know; you were at the wedding.

God, Mom! You ditched him already? You must have set a new record!

[Toasting Kyle at his final dinner with the family] To Cousin Kyle, who taught me to burn CDs and download stuff off the Internet!

By the time it's in school I'll be away in college!

[about her book report] I was gonna do The Secret Garden, but I'm doing Everybody Poops instead.

Amy

How about... 'Everybody Poops in the Secret Garden'?

Why are they talking about us like we're not here?

Amy

It's a family tradition, sweetie.

That's ridiculous! Cars just don't start moving.

Vincent

Please, Judge, give me a chance. I don't want to go to jail.

Well, what are you going to do for me?

Vincent

I don't think Judge Barbie's supposed to say that.

Amy

Ok, bedtime!

What's anorexia?

Maxine

A disease women get from reading magazines.

Amy

Where's Vincent?

Maxine

He said something about a freelance writing job.

It's the lady from the hardware store, he met her looking for screws.

Leesha says she a Libertarian. What's that?

Amy

Somebody who doesn't have children.

Are you kissing my Grandma?

Jared

I was about to, yes.

OK.

So, uh, what are we all doing?

Donna and I are playing 'Parole Board Babes' and Uncle Vincent is cutting his novel to shreds.

Vincent

Grandma is so caught up in her own dunnage.

You're saying a lot of stuff I don't understand today.

Vincent

It's this thing women do when they need help or emotional support they retreat into their own world where no man no matter how much they love her is allowed to enter.

What's an orgasm?

Amy

Oh, honey, I'm not sure if I remember anymore. I might have to look it up in a book.