Maxine Gray quotes from Judging Amy

Amy

One day, I'm going to find a man who thinks I'm the meaning of life.

Maxine

Amy, don't be trippy. The best you can hope for is a man who doesn't think about the meaning of life when he's with you.

Jared

Maxine, I forget. Why are we breaking up?

Maxine

Because it's the right thing to do.

Jared

I hate the right thing to do.

Maxine

So do I. It's a pain in the ass.

Maxine

Is this what they call a high-class problem?

Amy

I guess so.

Maxine

Funny. Feels just like a regular one.

Amy

Tell me I never said the words 'sippy cup' while on the verge of tears.

Maxine

No, but you were an averagely nervous young mother, so try to understand what she's going through.

Amy

Why are you picking on me?

Maxine

Vincent's gone. I have to pick on somebody.

Maxine

Kyle!

Kyle

Thank God you aren't insane.

Maxine

Why?

Kyle

Because I spent most of my childhood trying to make you that way.

Maxine

The hell you did. Daddy sent you to medical school. By the time it was my turn, there was nothing left.

You went to college.

Maxine

I worked three jobs. I didn't pay off those loans till 1967. You were his hope, I was his after-thought. My God Richard. I don't want to go over this again.

None of this is justification for keeping me from my son.

Maxine

Edward was dead at 55.

Maxine

He's an adult. No one forced his hand. You're making things worse.

Maxine

I have a good memory.

Your blessing and your curse.

Maxine

It's always been a fine line.

(regarding Kyle) Teaching him the fine art of holding a grudge are we?

Maxine

No, the lost art of learning from the past, you know the whole doomed to repeat it thing?

Maxine

Amy, you seem to be alright after walking in on your father and me.

Amy

That never happened.

Maxine

Then perhaps denial will work as well for Lauren as it has for you.

Maxine

She looks up to you, you know.

Big deal. She's 4 feet tall.

Kyle

How do you intend to convince him?

Maxine

I'm going to flirt with him. Oh, come on. You can't tell me you've never tried it.

Kyle

How do you think I passed organic chemistry?

I hate all of my clothes

Maxine

She spent yesterday with Chanelle.

Maxine

I know this bulletin board is everyone's idea of a good time, but some of us actually use it for work. So you can consider this the end of the largest dead cockroach of the week contest. Would you kindly flush the contestants?

Do you have like no sense of humor?

Maxine

That's correct. I'm a human fun-sucking vacuum.

Sean

Busy?

Maxine

Very.

Sean

Good, walk with me, talk with me, I've been thinking.

Maxine

Gee, I already don't like it.

Sean

I think it's about time we made a few headlines of our own. Flashy headlines.

Maxine

A regular diet of infanticide and sexual abuse is too low key for your taste?

Maxine

I am in the middle of being alone so you can help me by leaving.

Sean

Are you mad at me?

Maxine

Not yet.