Maxine Gray quotes from Judging Amy

Maxine

The week your father was accepted, we found out I was pregnant with Peter.

Vincent

So Dad quit his dreams and went into the insurance business?

Maxine

No, he didn't quit his dreams, he traded them for a different one. Your father was a pragmatist, Vincent and he loved his family very much.

Vincent

So he wanted a family more than medical school?

Maxine

Yes. When we had Amy, I figured perfect one boy, one girl, now we have our family, but your father wanted one more. He finally talked me into it.

Vincent

So you never wanted me?

Maxine

Just in the abstract, dear.

Maxine

You know what I read the other day? That Denver, Colorado is moving closer to San Francisco, California by an inch every ten years.

Amy

Is this relevant?

Maxine

An inch every ten years. That's the way the Rocky Mountains were formed, and that's the way the world changes. Not by stamping your foot to get your way. Not even by the bang of a gavel. It's by the choices that we make, you know, all the time. You do what you think is right, every time. Slowly, the world starts to change. That's how we leave our imprint on life -- an inch every ten years.

Amy

Where do you come up with this stuff?

Maxine

I don't know; just pops into my head. It's a curse, really.

Donna

Some people believe that before we’re born, when we’re still in spirit form, we make a deal with the universe... choose the families we’re born into. We have different reasons, based on the lessons we need to learn. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I chose mine. But, it’s obvious why Judge Gray chose hers. I’m just really glad I could be a part of it. God bless us... every one.

Maxine

Amen

Maxine

[about a naked baby picture] My father took that one. If I lose a few teeth and start drooling, I'll be right back there again.

Amy

Wearing a few more clothes, I hope.

Maxine

Amy, why on earth are you teaching a class at Yale?

Amy

Because they asked me."

Maxine

There's a handy little two-letter word you might want to learn.

Amy

Mom, it's an honor to be asked. You should be congratulating me.

Maxine

I'll congratulate you when you learn how to take a nap.

Maxine

And why is it so hard for you to believe that I'm attractive to men?

Peter

Uh...you're my mother?

Maxine

And I got that way by being attractive to men.

This is obviously a case of professional jealousy.

Maxine

[smiling]...the lawyer wishes she could be a wire-bender?

Are you sorry about slamming my Johnny in that door?

Maxine

Nope. Keep your damn Johnny out of my gas tank.

Maxine

I never said I broke up with Jared.

Amy

Are you saying you didn't?

Maxine

What I'm saying is whether I did or not is none of your business!

We're a little concerned that your director is a drug addict.

Maxine

No, my director is a former drug addict. I myself am a former high school student, and everyone here used to poop in their pants. What's your point?

Maxine

Oh, Fran. I lack delicacy.

No kidding.

Maxine

Amy? I brought you some chicken soup. How do you feel?

Amy

Horrible. I've been seeing things. It's like being on acid.

Amy

Not that I ever did acid. Uh, you know, I heard about it. Some of my friends told me. Listen, I think I need to go back to bed.

Sean

You are a very scary lady.

Maxine

Thank you.

Sean

This is because you're in charge over at Sanctuary House.

Maxine

Sanctuary House is a collaboration.

Sean

Nothing with you is a collaboration.

Sean

Everyone's dismissed. Except Maxine.

Maxine

Am I being kept after social work?