Thanks to Nick's cookie, I totally had the most fun ever in calculus.
So, how do you think you think?
Oh, I absolutely failed. (Macy, Stella and Joe look at him) But thanks to Nick's cookie, I could care less. (Van Dyke walks to Kevin, Joe, Stella and Macy)
Hey, Stells, you busy Saturday?
JoeVan Dyke, Stella's not gonna want to--
(Joe looks at her) I'm not busy.
You are now. You and the van man are gonna hit up the new restaurant. They serve like 17 different types of meat.
Dude, you're talking about "El Meat"? That place will wrap anything you want in bacon.
Oh, give me a meaty high five! (he and Kevin high five each other)
That sounds great.(Kevin looks at Stella while smiling) (Joe also looks at Stella then he and Macy look at each other and both of them are smiling) Actually, you know, I'm gonna have to pass 'cause Joe and I have chemistry.
J-- Joe and I have to study for chemistry 'cause we have a chemistry test with chemicals.
Hey, it's cool. Next time, maybe.
Yeah, sure. Maybe. Well, I have history. (groans) Bye. (walks away) (Kevin and Joe leave)
Oh yeah, you're that girl-dude. At the inter-league baseball game, you struck me out seven times.
Actually, it was 11 times.
The officials were. Yeah, they wrote in the record book and on the trophy.
Well, you were dressed like a guy.
Well, you screamed like a girl.
Fair enough. (he walks upstairs)
(realizes that the cookies aren't on the tray) Where are all my blue-chews?
(enters the dining room) Oh hey, Nick. You making me some more of your delicious cookies?
There were a dozen in this tray, (puts the oven mitt on the counter) but somebody, Kevin, ate them all.
And you automatically blame me. How dare you, sir? On what grounds?
Let's start with your blue lip gloss. (Kevin touches his blue lips)
Oh. Um-- (takes the oven mitt from the counter) well, how about we talk about it while you bake some more cookies? (wipes his mouth with the oven mitt)
I'm not making you any more cookies. You obviously have no self-control. (walks to the chair to take his bag)
You have got to be kidding.
Do I look like I'm kidding. (puts his bag on his shoulder)
Nick, you never look like you're kidding.
I don't look like I'm leaving either, but watch this. (walks away)
Joe
(happily slides down his pole) (scatting)
You look happy. (Joe continues scatting) Did Nick give you his cookies?
Joe
Yeah, but I gave 'em to Frankie.
You gave 'em to Frankie?! (runs to Joe) Who gives an eight-year-old cookies?
Joe
You're breathing on me again.
Joe
Did you see what Stella did to Van Dyke yesterday? It was so good, dude. I hope he has an ice pack 'cause he got burned.
Well, I hope you're grateful.
Joe
Huh?
She totally turned down Van Dyke because of you.
Joe
What? Me? Why?
She doesn't want you to feel bad.
Joe
What? Me? Why?
Joe, come over here and let your big brother give you some big brotherly advice. (Joe rolls his eyes then walks to Kevin) Embrace it. Love it. Yeah. Everybody knows you and Stella have a crush on each other, except... for you and Stella.
Joe
What's your point?
Joe
You mean like outside? (bell rings)
Joe
No no no no no. Me and Stella cannot date. I mean, it could ruin our band, the friendship. Stella knows that.
(goes to the kitchen and puts the crumbs from the tray into his mouth) I don't know. Van Dyke invited her to El Meat. She would never turned down the tasty goodness if it wasn't for you.
Joe
You're right. The best thing is to tell Stella how I feel right now.
So, Joe, did you profit from talking to your older and wiser brother?
Joe
Yeah, sure sure.
Good. So did you actually see Frankie eat the cookie or do you think he might still have it? (Joe leaves) (chuckles) (rock music playing)
Joe
Hey, Stella, can we talk about you and me?
You and me, Joe? Um... sure what's up?
Joe
You should go out with Van Dyke.
How is that about you and me?
Joe
If you want to go out with Van Dyke, don't let me stop you.
Oh. Okay. First-- wow. Second-- huh? And third-- huh? Again.
Joe
I mean, don't say no to Van Dyke because of me.
I'm not saying no to Van Dyke because of you. And why are you suddenly all up in my personal life?
Joe
Hey, whatever you want to do in your personal is fine with me.
(clears throat) Stop talking!
Joe
You have my blessing to go out with whoever you want.
Oh, for the love of all that is Mike, stop talking.
(walks to the table) Oh! Hey, Stells! Since you're not free on Saturday-- (his backpack drops on Nick's head) (Nick pushes Van Dyke's backpack away)
Actually, um-- I-- I am free on Saturday. (giggles) And if you're still free...
Touchdown. How about I pick you up at 7?
Cool. I'll walk you to the planetarium.
This school doesn't have a planetarium, but okay.
So what's your favorite color? (leaves with Stella)
Joe
Why didn't you stop me from talking? (asks Nick)
How's that? (stands up while he takes his folders and puts a sticky note with a frown on Joe's mouth) (Nick leaves)
(enters) Hey, Nick. What's up?
Here. Cookies. Eat.. (puts the fifth tray of cookies on the counter for Kevin to enjoy)
Wow, what a strange turn of events. I thought you weren't making me anymore cookies.
I know, right? But I woke up this morning with this urgent need and I've been baking you cookies all day. It's like I had this little voice in my head saying "cookies-- lots of them-- for me." I mean you. (chuckles)
Right. So you're saying all these are for me?
Oh and these. (takes a gift basket of cookies from the cabinet) Don't eat 'em all at once. (gives the basket to Kevin)
I love you, man! (takes the basket) (moans) (puts the basket on the counter and takes two cookies from it then asks Nick) Okay, can you put one in my mouth. I only have two hands.
No. (Kevin takes a bite of one of the cookies that he is holding)
Joe
(slides down his pole) Okay, Van Dyke picked Stella up at 7:00. They go to a restaurant, they have dinner, he takes her home. But I just called her house and she's not there. How come?
Maybe because it's only 7:15.
Joe, you just need to calm down. Let's all sit down and have a cookie, but not these cookies! These are mine!
Joe, I don't get it. You're the one who made Stella go on a date with Van Dyke.
Joe
I didn't make her go. I said, "you can go if you want to."
Joe
I didn't want her to! Especially if she was gonna be there for 16 minutes! (checks Kevin's watch)
Joe, come to big brother Kevin for some more brotherly advice.
Joe
I'm not going back in there. I'm just gonna call her on her cell.
(takes Joe's phone from him) You are not calling Stella on her cell phone. (puts Joe's phone the counter)
Joe
Okay. I'll call the restaurant. (sees the phone and picks it up then dials the number)
Don't make me sticker your mouth again.
Joe
Hello-- (Nick takes the phone from Joe and throws it) (glass shatters) (cat howls) Then I'll go to El Meat. (Kevin and Nick prevent him from leaving the house)
Whoa! We cannot let you do that. If you go, Stella will hate you forever.
Brothers don't let brothers make fools of themselves. Kevin, I'm sorry, I've let you down for so many years.
Joe
You guys are right. You know, I'm just gonna take a walk, (takes his jacket) get some fresh air.
Sounds good. (walks away)
Joe
Kevin, can I have the car keys please?
Yeah, man, here you go. (tosses the keys to Joe) (Joe leaves with the keys)
Joe
(caught the keys) Thank you. (leaves with the keys and jacket)
Kevin, what are you doing?
Oh! I know what you're thinking. I'm sure he's just taking the car for a drive so he can find a really nice place to go on a walk. It's all good.
And-- oh! Come on! Uh-unh! What you got? Yes, I block it! (grunting) And, he scores! Yes! Take that, Kevin! (hooting)
(enters and sees the empty trays and basket) Hey, Kev.
Pretty good. I'm winning 273 to 194. (crowd cheering) And now i'm losing 194 to 273. (whimpers) (crowd booing)
Looks like you're having a great time.
(panting) Actually, it looks that way, doesn't it? But actually, I'm having a terrible time! I can't stop. Why can't I stop? Oh look! Cardio! That'll help. Why can't I stop, Nick? Why can't I stop? Oh look, the guitar! Hey, Nick, I wrote a new slow song. You want to hear it? Okay! (plays fast rock music) What do you think? Yeah, it's a little boring in the middle. I don't know what I'm doing!
It's all those cookies that I made you. You're having a sugar rush. (Kevin gives Nick the guitar) (Nick puts the guitar down)
It's not your fault! I have a confession to make. Last night, when you were sleeping, I hypnotized you so you would make me more of your cookies that little voice inside your head-- that was me!
I have a confession to make. I was actually awake. I made all those cookies on purpose to try and teach you a lesson.
That you have no self-control. And once you've learned that lesson, you can take a few in knitting because that thing is way long.
Well, how can I make it stop?
Don't worry about that, you'll crash soon enough.
I don't know if I will, Nick. (walks to the recliner and Nick takes the blanket off it)I think I can do this for days. It's like I'll never stop. (snoring)
Joe
(storming upstairs) I'll tell this much, I'm never speaking to that girl again. If she thinks she can tell me what to do--
Joe
I'm coming! (slides down his pole)
(puts blanket on Kevin) Good night, cookie.
(wakes up then goes back to sleep) Cookie!
Joe
What up?
(enters the house) Don't give me "what up" all innocent like you don't know what up. I don't know how someone can be so conceited and selfish and just-- just thoughtless.
Joe
Yeah, well, you are stuck-up, pretentious and totally gorgeous.
Joe
What?
Joe
I-- I meant adorable, so adorable, you make me sick.
Oh, I'm sorry. If I'm so sickeningly adorable, then why did you come to the restaurant tonight?
Joe
Why did you go out with Van Dyke?
Because he asked me! Isn't that how it works, Joe? A guy asks out a girl because he likes he?
Joe
What about a guy not asking a girl because he likes her, huh? Have you ever thought about that?
Joe
I didn't want to wreck everything, you and me don't have together.
That makes absolutely no sense!
Joe
Yeah? Well, sometimes, things don't make sense. (going to kiss Stella)
Okay, like-- Oh. Um, I see your point. And I shall see you tomorrow. (accidently takes the watermelon rather than her purse) This is not my purse. (she leaves the watermelon at the house and takes her purse with her then leaves) (Joe falls down)
(screams) Get them away from me!
Good boy. (Joe and Stella walk to Kevin and Nick) You two seem to be friends again.
Joe
We never stopped being friends. (takes the guitar off)
Oh no, we just agreed to forget everything that happened last night.
Joe
Absolutely everything.
Definitely. The whole thing was ridiculous and best forgotten.
Joe
I don't even know what we're talking about.
Sweet, so everything's back to normal?
Joe
Totally normal.
Totally normal. (school bell rings)
Joe
See you at lunch.
Great. (she kisses Joe then they take each other's belonging by mistake and they leave opposite directions but they return their belongings back to each other) (Stella and Joe murmur)
(panting) It's not your fault! I have a confession to make. Last night, when you were sleeping, I hypnotized you so you would make me more of your cookies that little voice inside your head-- that was me!
I'm sorry. (Kevin laughs, groans) (crew laughing)
M1Man 1#
Okay, here we go.
M2Man 2#
Still rolling. (Kevin and Nick leave)
I'm watching you. You two seem to be friends again.
Joe
Yeah, we-- (stammers) (crew laughing) (Stella waves at the camera)
I would like to go home now, Van Dyke, please. Oh! Oh! (squealing)
Of course, Stella, I'll call my mom. (mimics zapping noises) (he pretends to be shocked) (all laughing)
Guys! (runs towards to Nick and Joe) (bumps into Joe)
Joe
Hey!
Sorry, guys. Hey, I just got a text from Anya saying that she is going to be coming to our school to be an exchange student. You know-- Anya, the president of our Scandinavian fan club Anya?
Joe
The strong blonde one?
The really strong, the really blonde that I can't stop thinking about. (sighs) (a thought bubble of Anya appears) (pops)
Joe
You two were really crushing on each other when we toured Scandinavia.
Kevin Well, all the long walks, the dancing, the romantic dinners, the regular dinners-- it really was the best 2 1/2 days of my young life.
Remember how bummed you were when the tour ended? And you thought your heart never be...(pulls out pen and paper) mended? (starts to write)
That rhymed! Wait a second, do you really care or are you just writing a new song?
I care. (continues to write)
Do you wanna go on tour again, or not?
Joe
So she's coming all the way to America to go to this school?
And to see me. (Anya appears)
Anya! (romantic music playing) (he and Anya run to each other) (Anya lifts Kevin off the floor then they dance)
Kevin had, like, three milkshakes for lunch, so… I think we should get out of here before he blows.
Joe
Yeah. (agrees then leaves with Nick)
I really think you're going to like the atrium. It's like having the outside on the inside.
An outside inside outside-- you're right, I love it.
(laughs) Oh good. (Nick, Joe and Stella are going to spy on Kevin and Anya)
Oh, look at Kevin. He must be freezing. I mean, his lips are turning blue.
Joe
That always happens when he likes a girl.
You know, I've really missed you, since we ended our tour in Scandinavia.
Me too. Do you know what else I've missed since Scandinavia? (takes a cd player from her bag)
KAKevin and Anya
(unison) Our song! (pop music playing) (they started dancing)
She dances just like my grandma. Well, back, when she had her own hips.
Joe
Quick, everybody look serious in a different direction.
(runs fast to tell Stella, Joe and Nick) Excuse me! Someone posted unauthorized pictures of the guys on my JONAS website. Look. Oh hang on, I’m not really sure how to use my new smart phone yet, (barking noise come from phone) oops, I think I just bought a puppy.
Ooh, I was in the middle of sneezing there.
Joe
Look at this one. I'm in the middle of a yawn. But, I still look pretty good. (Stella punched him) Ow.
There's obviously undercover paparazzi at school.
Joe
Maybe we should handle this like they do on "Crime Scene Cops." First you need some cool shades, then the cool camera angles. When we get our hands on the guys taking these photos, it won't be a pretty picture. (guitar riff plays) Hey-yyyy!
Joe
Shh. You'll ruin the moment. Now everyone, look serious in a different direction.
Maybe we should spend time looking cool and more time looking for the guy who did this.
Joe
(punched Nick lightly) Good thinking, detective. Maybe it's a janitor hiding a camera in his mop! I'm keeping my eye on you. (gives the broken mop back to the janitor then he walks away then Macy, Stella and Nick leave opposite directions) Hey, lunch lady, why are you walking so fast?
(enters the house with Anya's message to Kevin) Delivery for Kevin! (Nick, Joe and Kevin walk to the table) From a little lady called Anya. Ta-dah! (Tom puts Anya's message to Kevin on the table)
"Dance will the to me you with go"!
Joe
I think she speaks in broken cookie.
"Will you to the dance go with me"!
Hey, Anya's asking you to the dance. Wait-- you know what? Do you mind? This one's got "me" written all over it. (reached for a cookie and takes it) (laughs)
I think I'm gonna bake her three cakes that spell "yes." You know, Anya's the first girl that I've met that really gets me.
Well, we've met a lot of girls. It was bound to happen.
Sometimes it's hard being the different one. But with Anya, we're both the different one, so we're the same... in that we're different from all the others that are the same.
That's-- that's good. Good.
You didn't get it, did you?
You know what else I like about her? She speaks her mind. When she's mad, she says so. Happy, says so. Hungry, says so. Tired, says so. Sad, says so. Gassy... says so. Doesn't feel like talking, she says so. (notices Joe and Nick are sleeping on the table then joins them)
We gotta find out who's been sneaking those photos of us from inside this house.
Joe
Look at him! Sitting there all innocent and dad.
Terrific. I just cut the band a monster deal that is bigger--
Joe
Yeah yeah yeah, it's great. (he turns off the lights) (he and Nick walk to towards Tom then Joe and Nick take their beverages off the counter) (Joe wears his sunglasses while Where were you between the hours of 8:00 and 11:00 Saturday morning?
Well, at Frankie's soccer game.
Joe
Prove it. (picks up his beverage and drinks it)
Joe
Oh really? Who?
He's right. We were there. I remember that now.
So unless you fellas are willing to charge me, I do have an appointment in the world of normal. (walks to the light switch to turn it on) (chuckles)
Joe
Hey, dad?
Joe
Don't leave town. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy!
Okay. (walks away) (Nick puts his beverage on the counter)
Joe
What are you doing? (sunglasses crunch) (trash can rattles) (Nick takes Joe's glasses off then breaks it in half to throw it away but Joe has another pair) (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! (Kevin walks into the house after Anya ended their relationship)
Not good. I can't figure out what went wrong with me and Anya.
Joe Well, you guys are going out and then she broke up with you.
But why? Why?! Why? Why? Everything was going so good back in Scandinavia.
Maybe you should go back to Anya's country.
No, I'd miss you guys too much.
Joe
We'd miss you too. (Kevin fist bumps Joe and Nick)
Wait a minute! If I could make it so being here, reminds her of home, maybe she'll remember how happy we were there.
Maybe you should study up on Scandinavia and do whatever you can to make her feel at home.
If I bring Norway her way, maybe she won’t go away. (Joe and Nick look at each other then they clap their hands) Thanks.
The world's largest population of reindeer can be found in...?
Joe
Yes! Okay. The reindeer crossing sign is the most popular souvenir in...?
What region starts with "sc" and ends with "andinavia"?
Is this a trick question?
Joe
Come on, Kevin, come on.
Joe
How can Anya not be impressed?
Hey, Joe, come here, try this. (pours lutefisk into a cup)
Joe
Okay, fine. I'm so proud of you. (takes the cup of lutefisk from Kevin)
Joe
Is that what I think it is? (points to the lutefisk pudding that Kevin poured into the cup)
Joe
Ewwww! (spits into the sink and Nick covers his mouth) (Joe scrubs his tongue with the brush) Why did you do that?
I didn't really know how to make it so I just put some fish in a blender and chopped, serrated, diced.
Joe
(scrubs tongue with the brush) Why would you do that?!!
Poor Kev. Losing Anya must really hurt.
Joe
I feel terrible. Even this ice cream is lousy.
That's because it's the leftover lutefisk I put in the freezer. (Joe stops eating to put the spoon back into the bowl and pulls out a lutefisk from the bowl then drop the lutefisk) (car zooms)
Kev, Stella feels really bad. She was just trying to help Anya become a good girlfriend. The whole fake-dog-diva thing is Anya's deal.
Guys, relax, trust me. I am so happy I found out who the true Anya sooner rather than later. Can you see me with Kimmy with the heart over the "i"?
Joe
Great attitude, bro-ham.
Hey, guys, look who's staying with me for the week. (Samantha waves at Kevin, Joe and Nick) This is Samantha Saint Jean, the president of your French fan club.
(French accent) Bonjour, Samantha. I love your fries.
Samantha is here for the international mime festival.
No way! I love to mime! Especially over here in my invisible box. (miming in the unseen box then Samantha opens the door and enter the box then she closes it and miming with Kevin)
I am not staying here for this. (takes his jacket)
Yeah, let's go get some very visible food. (leaves with Nick)
Joe
Really? So we’re just gonna leave ‘em in there? Guys! (walks after Stella and Nick)
Hey, Macy, how's it going with paparazzi case?
Oh, I found the undercover paparazzi so you guys don't think about it anymore. All done.
Joe
Good work Macy.
Joe
Just one more thing, Macy.
Joe
You know, we took one of those unauthorized pictures from your website and blew it up.
It turns out our little undercover paparazzo accidently took a picture of his... or her hand. (shows a picture of the hand) Does that nail polish look familiar?
Thinky pinky pink. A lot of girls wear thinky pinky pink. I think.
Joe
Hmmm. Then we took one of the pictures and blew it up even larger. On the hand we noticed the limited-edition JONAS fan club ring.
Know anyone who wears that ring?
(squeaks) (hides her hands behind her back) No.
Joe
Interesting. Well, then we blew up the picture a little larger. (Macy sighs) And we noticed a relection in the ring. Eh heh.
Okay, it was me. But this thing is brand new. And I didn't know how use it. Please don't hate me.
Don't worry. We know you would never do anything like this on purpose.
Joe
And I guess this is what happens when-- you don't read your instruction manual. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! (Nick takes Joe's sunglasses and drops them to the floor to smash them five times) What are you doing? Uh! Uhh!
Ahhh! (Joe sighs) I guess you could call what I just did to your glasses a real...(puts on his sunglasses) eye opener. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! You're right. This is fun. (walks away from Macy and Joe)
Joe
You're not cool as me.
But-- yeah. Totally. (leaves)
Joe
Do you have any glasses? (walks after Macy and asks her) (guitar riff plays)
Joe
Jonas · 237 quotes
