Macy Misa quotes from Jonas

Macy

Macy Misa here. I know what you're thinking JONAS heads. Things are looking pretty grim for the guys-- which is what makes my video podcast so good.

Macy

I call it a, Joe-tato chip. (Laughs) It was worth every penny.

Stella

Wait. That fifty dollars you borrowed from me was spent on a Joe-tato chip?

Macy

Awesome, right?

Stella

Awesome wrong. I wouldn’t have lent you the money if I knew that’s what you were gonna spend it on.

Macy

Wow. I never realized our friendship came with so many conditions attached.

Macy

As president of the JONAS fan club, I'm trying to decide to which new JONAS picture to post on the JONAS fan club website? Help me pick?

Stella

Yes!

Macy

Okay, pouty and intense JONAS or goofy and adorable JONAS?

Stella

Ms. Sherman just barfed all over her desk and went home sick. No algebra test today!

Macy

You weren't even listening to me.

Stella

Um, I don't have to listen to you because you say the same thing every day. JONAS, JONAS, JONAS. You can't go two seconds without talking about them.

Macy

Well we all have our obsessions... except for JONAS. They are so mentally fit.

Stella

I don't have any obsessions.

Macy

What are you talking about? Look at you. You're addicted to texting. Your thumbs are turning into tiny sumo wrestlers.

Stella

Really?

Macy

Mm-hmm

Stella

I'm not addicted to texting. In fact, I bet I could go longer without texting than you could go talking about JONAS

Macy

Bet?

Stella

And the winner?

Macy

Wins.

Stella

You're on. Starting in five seconds.

Macy

JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS!

Macy

I saw this excellent new Jo-

Stella

I'm sorry. JONAS What?

Macy

Jo-ging suit. You know for when I go jo-ging. I love those t-shirts saw Ni-

Stella

Ni-who?

Macy

Ni-body. Mm-hmm.

Stella

It's just a matter of time before you say something about JONAYS

Macy

It's pronounced JO- Oh, nice try. How is this easy for you? I bet you're closet-texting.

Stella

No1 I just happen to have willpower and just to ease your suspicious mind, why don't you hold onto this.

Macy

You're gonna break.

Stella

Nuh-uh! Without my little phone screen to stare at.

Macy

Hmm

Stella

I am seeing much more of the world and it is beautiful. Macy, you have brown eyes and a little something in your teeth. Right there.

How did this magazine get in my locker?

Joe

I have no idea. (A montage of Joe is shown trying to put the magazine in the locker by shoving it, then by using the baseball bat, then by using a hammer and a garden shovel while wearing goggles and then with a toothpick and it successfully enters the locker so he leaves happily.) But take a look on the cover says "Joe of JONAS. A regular guy there's a picture of me bowling in rental shoes, size 9 regular.

Regular people don't have have their faces on the cover of magazines.

Joe

Stella! This is my friend, Stella. We've been best friends since I was three. Stella, can you tell her what a regular I am?

Stella

Macy, why don't you tell her?

Macy

I--I-- I don't know who you are, mister. I don't know that you're a giant rock star and wear size 9 regular bowling shoes. Leave me alone!

Stella

Classic Macy, I can't to tell-- no phone. (whispers) No life.

Joe

This isn't going well for me, is it?

Look, Joe, last year I went out with a guy who was also a star. He was a champion mathlete and all I would do was replace the batteries in his calculators and sharpen his pencils.

Joe

I would never be like that. I hate calculators and I don't have a pencil.

I just don't think it wouldn't work out between us. (She closes her and leaves)

Joe

But I like like you.

Nick

What's up, Macy?

Macy

It's--it's--the boys who shall not be named. J-J--J-J--J--

Nick

J--J

Joe

What? What? What?

Stella

I can't take it anymore! Yes! Yes! Good. Texting Good! O.M.G.! Oh, I'm here, baby. Mama's here. I'll never leave you again.

Macy

You're texting! You're texting!

Stella

Yeah, I cracked, okay? You win! Just leave us alone. (she leaves)

Macy

I can talk. I can talk. JONAS. JONAS. JONAS. Joe of JONAS, can you sign my program from last night's performance?

Joe

Sure, why not? Does anybody have a pen? (he checks his pockets)

Joe

Oops.

Run!

Macy

I heard you and Joe are going on your first date. Congratulations.

Stella

Joe and I are not dating. You know that. We're just really really good friends. I mean, besides, Joe is a big rock star. He can see any girl that he wants to.

Macy

Stella, for someone who's so smart, sometimes, you don’t even know what you don’t know you know.

Stella

(turns to Macy) I know I have no idea what you talking about. You know?

Macy

You are all in your head. Get out of there. When it comes to romance, you need to follow your head.

Stella

Please. The only thing that your heart has ever followed is a JONAS.

Macy

(she gasps) I protest. I admit I used to be smidge obsessed, but I have matured.

Randolph

Hi, Macy. I was wondering about-- Well, thinking about asking you-- Would you like to go to the basketball game with me Saturday? I mean, if you want.

Macy

(sighs) I would love to, Randolph. Meet me here at 6:00, okay?

Randolph

Great. Will you excuse me for a second? I've gotta go tell everyone in the world. Carl, Steve, Steve's brother...

Stella

I'm impressed. You have matured.

Macy

Thank you. Oh! Hey, look. There's a stain on the in the shape of Nick's face. That is not an obsession. That is a fact. Whoa whoa whoa! Step around the stain. Around.

Macy

Hi, Randolph. I got you a present. It's for you to wear on our date. Stella made it for Nick of JONAS, but I'd think you'll look really great in it.

Randolph

Wow, thanks!

Macy

And I also got you a cool... hat.

Randolph

This is a wig.

Macy

No, it's a hat. Try it on. And I think I'd like to give you a little nickname. " Randolph" just sounds so formal.

Randolph

My mom calls me "Ran."

Macy

Oh, isn't that sweet? I'm gonna call you Nick.

Randolph

Nick?

Macy

"Nick" like nickname. It;'s a joke. Our own little private joke.

Randolph

Anything for you, Macy.

Macy

See you game night, Nick. Don't take off the hat, Nick. Bye, Nick. (Randolph leaves the atrium with the present while wearing the wig)

Joe

Go, praying mantises! (he coughs)

Stella

Are you okay?

Joe

I'm fine. I'm fine. Kick their butt-- (he continues to cough)

Stella

Mm-hmm. He said kick their butts! (tells the crowd)

Joe

Whoo! (coughs)

Stella

Thanks.

Macy

Hi, guys. Can me and Nick steal these seats?

Stella

Hey, Macy. That's not Nick. That's Randolph dressed as Nick.

Macy

I meant Nick like nickname Nick. Come on, Nick. Let's go get some nachos. (they leave)

Stella

Hey, I'm really glad we're doing this. (Joe coughs) It was weird there for a while. It was like you were trying to avoid me.

Joe

Avoid you? How could I avoid you? I mean, we go to school together. We work together. (he still coughs) That was awesome. Did you see that?

Stella

I know. I just-- Still you were making it pretty impossible to keep a date

Joe

This is not one of those.

Stella

One of what? (a basketball swishes then Stella and Joe are cheering) You mean a date?

Joe

We're not doing that.

Stella

What is wrong with you?

Joe

Nothing. I'm just trying to protect an important friendship.

Stella

Huh?

Joe

We're not on one of those things that people go on--those things.

Stella

You mean like a date? A date.

Joe

(speaking gibberish)

Stella

Joe, you are being ridiculous. I mean, it's like you have a problem with us dat--

Joe

Gahh.

Stella

Dating!

Joe

But, we're not.

Stella

Yeah, I know. I realize that. I'm just saying it seems you'd have a problem with it if we were, which we are not. Right. If being alone with me is so traumatic for you, don't worry about it because it's never gonna happen again. (she leaves the game)

Joe

Stella, Stella, wait. Stell- (coughs)

Nick

Hey.

Joe

What are you doing here?

Nick

Thought I'd listen to Kevin's advice, and have a little more school spirit. The only reason I don't come to these games because I never meet anyone like myself.

Randolph

Nachos? (he offers Nick nachos and Macy is fixing the wig)

Nick

I'll see you at home. (he leaves)

Macy

Hey!

Stella

Why does romance have to be so hard? (she puts her head on Macy's shoulder)

Macy

Aw! Well, excuse me. I have no idea what you're talking about? My love is a touch of rockin' with a touch of rollin'

Stella

Well, good.

Randolph

Macy.

Macy

Oh, hi, Nick.

Randolph

I'm sorry. It's just not gonna work between us. Here's your Nick outfit, your Nick hat, and your Nick instruction manual you left for me. If you see me in class, just call me Randolph or Randy or Edgar really anything but Nick. (he walks away)

Stella

Aw, Mace. I'm sorry.(she hugs Macy)

Macy

(sighs) It's for the best. I just can't being seen with someone who isn't comfortable being himself.

Macy

Move 'em or lose 'em pal! (trying to keep finding it but Kevin and Joe blocks her way then she looks up at them) Oh, sorry. (she stands up)

Kevin

What are you doing, Macy?

Macy

Oh, I lost my lucky charm. I can't play without it and we have basketball game.

Joe

Well, maybe we can help you. What does it look like?

Macy

It’s a little charm that says, “You're #1”, and without it I feel like #2.

Joe

Macy?

Macy

Yeah?

Joe

You don't need a lucky charm.

Macy

Yes, I do. It helps me win and I like to win.

Kevin

Macy, it's your hard work and talent that make you a great athlete.

Macy

I guess.

Kevin

You know what? We don't want you to be late for the game. So you go ahead and me and Joe will stay here and look.

Macy

Right. Okay. (she runs to the game)

Joe

Man, some people are so superstitious. I don't get it. I've used the same blue panda pencil forever on all my math tests. And I don't use it because I'm superstitious. I just always have it with me. Wait, where's my blue panda pencil? (he checks his pants) No! No! (he takes various stuff out of his pockets to find it) No. (sighs) Here it is-- my blue panda pencil.(kisses it)

Kevin

Haa!

Macy

It's my talent and hard work that's made me a great athlete. Nerks!(she is angry)(walks in front of Kevin then she turns around to apologize) Ooh! I'm sorry. It's just we lost yesterday I didn't have my lucky charm. I threw nothing but bricks. Me! Mighty Mite Macy Misa!

Kevin

(he takes off his boot and gives it to Macy) Here.

Macy

(holds Kevin's boot and walks while holding with it) Your Jacques LeFajette size 8 and a half calfskin boot in hot cocoa brown? (she turns around) Why?

Kevin

Don't tell anybody, but I believe in lucky charms too. That's my lucky boot. I want you to have it.

Macy

But how do you know it's lucky, besides the obvious fact it gets to hug your foot all day and night.

Kevin

I wear it every single night on stage. I’ve never done a performance without it, and I’ve never been struck by lightning! Now, if that’s not lucky I don’t know what is.

Macy

Well, then come on lucky boot. Let's go kick some butt! (she leaves with Kevin's boot then he is walking with one boot one)

Kevin

Hey, Joe, can we talk about the play?

Joe

What about it?

Kevin

Aren't you guys gonna ask me about my boot first? (he is shown wearing a sock on his left foot)

No. (they shake their heads)

Kevin

Joe, seeing as how you decided to leave the play, me and Nick want to let you know that if you wanted us to quit, we will. (Nick nods in agreement) I really really don't want to but I will. I really don't want to but I will. I really don't want to but I will. I really really don't want to but I will.

Joe

Guys. I don't you to quit because of me. It's really cool. I appreciate it. I guess we are The Musketeers. (horns blow)

Stella

Hey.

Van Dyke

Hey, my two Musketeers. Let's hit play practice.

Joe

I think you mean rehearsal.

Van Dyke

Rehearsal, yeah. That's what Mrs. Snark called it. (notices that Kevin isn't wearing one of his boots) Hey, where's your boot?

Kevin

Thank you for asking. You know, it is a crazy story... It happened to me a little earlier

Stella

Look, um, I was sorry to see you quit.

Joe

Yeah, well, Van Dyke stepped right in there. I mean, I'm not Van Dyke Tosh, you know?

Stella

Well, he's not you.

Joe

Yeah, well, he's a pretty good looking guy, though.

Stella

Do you want to lie to you?

Joe

Yes, I do.

Van Dyke

Hey, Stella, come on! One for all and all for fun!

Macy

Popcorn?

Joe

How can you eat at a time like this? (Macy looks at him then she looks back at the play and eats the popcorn)

Tom

Thanks for filming the play, Frankie. Your mother would be upset if she couldn't watch this when she gets back from your aunt Debbie's.

Frankie

No problem.(he is watching cartoons rather than filming the play)(cartoon sounds)

Tom

Are you watching cartoons? Give me this. (takes the video away from Frankie)

Kevin

I knew it was him for he had the mark of the criminal on his shoulder!

Nick

Then it is up to us to save her before she loses her head.

Kevin

Tis a great risk, Porthos. Tis a great risk, Porthos. (waiting for Van Dyke to come)

Van Dyke. (applause) (Van Dyke bumps into Kevin which makes Kevin bumps into Nick)

Van Dyke

But Athos, we must trust...him for tonight, I shall ask-- I shall ask...

Van Dyke

Sweep up with my arms the love and proclaim for her.

Macy

Looks like somebody could use a lucky boot.

Van Dyke

Dare I ask if I may have your heart?

Stella

Yes yes, my beloved. A thousand times, yes.

Van Dyke

Dare I ask...if I may have a kiss?

Stella

Dare dare, my beloved. A thousands times dare. (she walks down the tower then she holds hands with Van Dyke)

Macy

Stella and Van Dyke are gonna...(she looks at Joe's chair but he left the audience to interrupt Van Dyke from kissing Stella)(Van Dyke and Stella are about to kiss)

Joe

No! (he swings on a rope and knocks Van Dyke away while Stella backs away from being hit)

Stella

Joe, what are you doing?

Joe

I'm sorry, but he can't kiss you.

Stella

Why not?

Joe

Because this is my role. (he picks up the feathered hat) Dare I ask, may I have a kiss, Lady De-Bonna-So-La-Boo?

Stella

Yes. I mean... Dare dare, my beloved. A thousands times dare. (Joe kisses her on the cheek) (applause from Nick, Kevin, Mrs. Snark, Macy and the crowd)

Bravo! Bravo! (Van Dyke is waking up with the flower between his teeth and he stands next to Mrs. Snark then spits the flower out) (Van Dyke reaches into his pocket and give a tissue to Mrs. Snark)

Joe

(he and Stella switch places) Aramis, my sword! (Nick tosses the sword to Joe and he catches it) Ahh!

(wiping her tears with a tissue) It's better than "Cats."

Joe

We'll return at dawn, my love. (he walks over to Kevin and Nick)

(Kevin and Nick take out their swords then the three of them raised their swords together) One for all, and all for one!

Kevin

And a leather pouch for my turkey leg!

Macy

Hey, Kevin.

Kevin

What's up, Macy? How'd the basketball game go? (he puts his turkey leg away)

Macy

Oh, we lost.

Kevin

Did you get struck by lightning?

Macy

No.

Kevin

Good. Then my lucky boot worked.

Macy

(sits next to him) Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. (she takes out Kevin's boot from her bag) Boots, charms--they're not good luck. It is talent and hard work that helped me win all my awards and trophies.

Kevin

Oh, okay. So then you're not gonna want this cheesy little #1 charm on the stairs this morning?

Macy

Actually, I don't. (thunder rumbles)

Macy

Here's your boot. (she gives the boot back to Kevin)

Kevin

Here's your charm! (he gives the charm to Macy)

Macy

Okay, um, that way.

Kevin

Ahh!

Joe

It's hopeless. No matter what I say or do, all the magazines are talking about is my "romance" with Fiona.

Nick

Not true. They also mention that you're a world-class nerd.

Joe

Thanks, Nick. That'll do.

Macy

(on the stairs) Then we've gotta get them talking something else. Because the best way to end one rumor...

Nick

Is by starting another.

Macy

Mm-hmm.

Stella

You are a genious.

Macy

(walks down the stairs and goes to the table then sits wth Stella, Nick, Kevin and Joe) You don't get to be head of the #1 JONAS fan club, without knowing how to deal with gossip.

Nick

Where did we go wrong, professor?

Macy

To get Fiona Skye to leave you alone, you tried to make yourself less attractive.

Joe

So?

Macy

There is absolutely no way you could make yourself less attractive.

Joe

Told you. (hits Kevin)

Macy

What you need to do is make the sites and mags believe that you've found someone more attractive than Fiona. "Joe Dumps Fiona For Mystery Girl."

Stella

Yeah, well, you're going to need pictures.

Nick

That means we'll need a mystery girl.

Kevin

We can put Nick in a wig and a dress.

Nick

Ha ha. No, we can't.

Kevin

Um, you're probably right. That's more publicity than we're looking for. Um, there's gotta be somebody. (he, Joe, Nick, Macy and Stella are thinking then he, Joe, Nick and Macy have found the mystery girl)

Stella

Oh no. No. No. No.