Joe(stands on his bed then he walks on the amps and jumps on his bed but one of his shoes) Check this out. (glass shatters) (cat screeches) )British siren blaring) (tires screech) (cow moos) (bagpipes playing)
What's going up here? Joe, did you just break a window with a shoe? That then hit a cat, causing a British ambulance to crash? Which then scared a cow, who sat on a fat guy playing bagpipes?
Joe
No, that was my ringtone. Hello? It's for you. (gives his cell phone to Nick)
Hello? Yeah, hold on. It's for you. (gives Joe's cell phone to Kevin)
(takes Joe's from Nick) Hello? Yeah, oh yeah, he's right here. Hold on. Hey, dad, it's for you. (Joe looks at Kevin and Nick then looks at Tom)
Hello? Oh hey, what's going on?
Is there someone on the phone?
I don't know. You tell me, shoeless Joe. (Joe looks at his sock then Kevin and Nick look at Joe)
Joe
I'll pay for the window. (Kevin and Nick take their guitar off) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are going to their poles)
Oh, hey, Joe your phone. (toss Joe's phone to him)
Joe
(Grabs his phone, but ends up falling down the fire pole opening) (yells, thuds) Ahh!
(Looks down the fire pole with Nick) He’s good.
(groans) Kevin, it's been 10 minutes. Will you please just go?
Joe
Just so you know, no matter how long you stare at those letters, they're not gonna change.
Then how did my "q" just become an "o"?
Because I gave that to you.
Joe
Just go already.
(walks downstairs and asks Joe) What are you guys playing?
Joe
"Word Hole" It's that Belgian board game that we did the commercial for. (Nick takes the top of the box then he remembers the commercial that he, Joe and Kevin did) (announcer speaks German) (Kevin, Nick and Joe are speaking German) Word hole!
Joe
Sure.
Too late, 'cause I have a seven letter word and I win!
Plobnrg? That's not a word.
Sure it is. Hi, I'm Kevin
"Plobnrg" means "awesome". "Like, hi, I'm Kevin. I just won the board game. I'm so plobnrg".
Guys, the band just got an exciting offer. It's totally plobnrg. How would you boys like to be the judges at the miss most amazing teen
Joe
Oh yeah. Please? Now?
Joe
That'd be so cool. (Stella gives a look to Kevin, Joe and Nick)
Actually, we find those contests to be just glorified beauty pageants, right gentlemen?
And superficial and demeaning.
Joe
And it sends a bad message to those hotties-- young women.
Yeah, and I guess I'd agree with all that junk you guys just said.
Guys, spare me. Beauty contests are the only outlet for those poor pathetic pageant girls whose sole talent is walking in a straight line
All right, well, I mean, in that case...
Joe
Let's do it for the hotties.
(clears throat) Good... to go.
So those must be the girls...
Joe
Where? Oh, there. I didn't notice. Whoa.
MMaggie
Oh! Hello, gentlemen. (greets Kevin, Joe and Nick) I'm pageant director Maggie Belle Seward. Welcome to the kream-o dog food superdome, home to this year's miss most amazing teen competition. Yes! (Kevin claps) (she laughs) Saturday night, this is where you will be sitting and judging. (watch
Joe
I have no idea.
Joe
Wow. Look at all these girls. They're so good looking.
Joe, they got a lot more going for them than their looks, all right? They're poised, intelligent.
Joe
Look at her. She's really intelligent.
Which one? I think they're all geniouses.
Joe
I think we should probably go introduce ourselves. I'll start.
We are the judges. We have to be impartial. In fact, we should have no communication with any of those girls whatsoever.
(sees that Joe isn't with Kevin and Nick) Where's Joe? (Kevin looks left and right but Joe isn't next to him)
Joe
As a judge, it's my duty to remain impartial, (whispers) but I'm definitely voting for you. Next! Hi. As a judge, it's my duty to remain
No, you're not. (he and Kevin take Joe away from the stage while Kevin shakes his head) Joe, you can't keep promising every girl you're gonna vote for her.
Joe
Fine.
Where's Kevin? (sees that Kevin isn't with Joe and Nick)
(he is doing the same thing like Joe did earlier) As a judge, I have to be impartial, (whispers) but I'm voting for you. Shh, don't tell anybody-- those girls. (Joe and Nick take him away from the stage)
Joe
That's me. (bagpipes playing) (beeps) Look, one of the contestants just sent me a picture of herself playing flute for senior citizens while
Joe
What a generous, caring, attractive-- (Nick takes Joe's cellphone to break it in half) What are you doing? (cracks)
Joe
You could've just deleted the photo. (Nick gives Joe's cellphone back to him)
So how's the miss most pathetic teen competition?
It's the most amazing teen competition. Duh.
Joe
She knows that.
It's cool. These girls actually have a lot more going for them than you think.
Oh, how sweet... and naive. They don't.
Joe
You just don't understand 'cause you're not the pagent type.
What do you mean I'm not the pagent type?
He just means that these girls are beautiful...
Joe
And really talented. Not that you're not all those things.
Those girls are noting but a bunch of bubble-headed gorgeous robots. If I wanted to, I could win that pageant with half my brains tied behind my back.
Joe
Wait a minute-- half your brains hanging out battling a bunch of beautiful robots? Now that is a competition I would pay to see.
I don't need a pageant to tell me that I'm just as pretty and talented as any of those girls, not to mention feminine, demure and very very delicate. Make a hole!
Joe
What are you doing?
Joe
Really? Hmm.
Gentlemen, the next miss most amazing teen... (mimics cheering) Stella Malone. (softly) Thank you. Thank you so much.
Joe
What are you doing?
I have officially entered the competition.
Joe
What?
How did you even get in? The deadline for enteries was weeks ago.
For some reason, Maggie Belle decided to allow one extra girl into the competition this year. (Maggie's razor buzzing) I'm gonna beat these bubble-headed beauty bots at their own game. (laughs) Not that I care.
Joe
Way to go. That's a good attitude.
You've got to be in it to win it.
You should really go for it.
TATV announcer
This Saturday it's the miss most amazing teen competition with special judges JONAS! Don't miss five time champion Carrie Sue North as she takes on all corners.
CCarrie
For me, it's not about the competition. It's about enjoying the company of other girls who are almost as amazing as me. See you Saturday night.
TATV announcer
Watch her do that Saturday night on stilts.
Joe
I don't think Stella knows what she's gotten herself into.
This is not gonna end well.
Whoever told her to go for this a real doorknob. And yes, I know it was me.
Everybody is watching the video. I'm going to move to a town where there's no internet. (takes her sunglasses off) I'm going to be going to school on a donkey.
All right, before you go donkey shopping, why don't you check out what everyone's really watching?
Joe
It's not what you think, okay? Watch.
(rock music playing) I personally believe that, uh today's most pressing problem is, uh, U.S Americans unable--
You guys actually found a way to make my flub look cool.
There's already over 8 million hits on the video, plus people don't even care what happened at the pageant.
I don't know how thank you guys.
Joe
It was nothing.
Yeah. We just stayed all night writing a song, recording it, assembling a camera crew and editing all the footage together. But it was really nothing.
Oh... You guys are the best. Thank you. (hugging Nick, Joe and Kevin) (walks towards a cart) I mean, you know how much I hate looking silly. (shrieks) (camera phones clicking)
Joe
I'll call the camera crew.
I wish there was a falling-- in-the-trashcan-competition. She would be so good at that. Right, guys? (asks Joe and Nick but they left him alone then )
MOMan on TV
And only one of the monkeys had a driver's license. Turning in teen pageant news, the winner of this weekend's miss most amazing teen competition was Miss Carrie Sue North. (Joe turns off the TV)
Joe
Stella, we could just watch something else.
No no no no, it's fine. I just-- I just can't listen to anymore pageant stuff. Ugh. I've had it up to here with sashes and crowns. I never want anything to do with pageants ever ever again. See you at school. (thunks)
MOMan on TV
Joe turns on the TV after Stella leaves) Unfortunately, Carrie Sue North broke down under the stress of being a five-time champion and threw up on the president. Looks like JONAS have to pick another winner. (pop music playing) (Stella climbs up the pole and giggles and waves)
(returns while greeting Kevin, Joe and Nick) Well, hello, boys. (Joe, Nick and Kevin are shocked)
This is Macy Misa and you're watching Macy Misa's video podcast from the JONAS loft. I'm Macy Misa. I am so excited to bring you behind the scenes as JONAS prepare to launch their world tour-- the bigger-and-better-than-the-last-tour tour! You'll get to watch the tough decisions that the band has to make.
Joe
I think I'm going with the all cotton socks.
We'll get up close and personal with Nick.
We'll get a sneak peek at the band's latest new super cool look...
Joe
Are you serious?
and Kevin just being... Kevin. (dramatic music playing)
I love you. (hugs his guitar)
Of course you'll get to see lots of this. (rock music playing)
I'm Macy Misa and if you'd like to see more theen tell your parents that you're doing homework, lock the door and crank up the volume. Did I mention I'm Macy Misa? Because I am. JONAS has given me complete access to their creative process because I'll be like a fly on the wall. I'll observe and report but I'll never interfere. Never.
Guys, I think I've got the lineup. We open the show with "Time is on Our Side."
What, are you cracked? You have to open up with "Work It Out." Oh, Time is on our side." Love it. Open with it. Stop looking at me.
Joe
Nick, she has a good point. (Nick agrees with Macy and Joe then Nick rips the paper)
That handsome old man is dad of JONAS.
Hey, Stella. (sees that Kevin, Nick and Joe are studying) Oh, that's what I love to see. My boys are cracking the books. All right. Now don't forget, if you pass these exams tomorrow, then you will have to stay here and repeat the class.
We know and that means no tour.
Joe
Which means no amazing split.
Which saves us a trip to the emergency room in some foreign country.
"Love sick" is the perfect opener.
Sure, girls go crazy. They cry, they scream. They try and rip off our clothes. Especially you, Joe. (Stella walks by while carrying a sewing kit then she sits)
You know, I don't think you guys should do that song. I mean, the last thing rockstars need is a mob of excited screaming girls just rushing to the stage. You know that's dangerous. Especially you, Joe. Fine, whatever. Do the song.
How's it going? The guys are trying on the new look I designed for the tour.
Joe
Are you serious?
What? I think it looks really good. I mean, haven't you seen opera singers? They have to keep their vocal cords warm, so they wear scarves
Joe
You can't even see a square inch of my skin.
Girls can look at your hands. I mean, they covered in skin. "Get Joe gloves."
Dad, did they spell my name wrong on the tour jackets again?
You do look more like a Karen than a Kevin.
All right, look, I just got a call from the school. And it seems one of you boys failed your exam.
Joe
Dios mio.
All right, you guys passed. Nick, you failed your geometry exam. You can't move to the next grade till you pass geometry. So you're just gonna have to take the class again. Look, I'm sure you're pass it next time, all right?
Well, that's... I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel the tour.
I can't believe I failed the test.
JKJoe and Kevin
I can't believe I passed. (Joe wants to give Kevin a high five but Kevin doesn't want it)
We have to cancel the world tour and it's all my fault
Joe
Yeah, it is.
Joe
Yeah, it is.
Nick, it's okay. Who needs a world tour anyways? You know, London's nice, but it's not sunny. The desert's hot, but there's no rain.
Kevin, those are my lyrics. You trying to comfort me or set up your own music video?
I'm trying to comfort you by setting up my own music video. (snaps fingers) Hope you enjoy it. (ballad playing)
Dad said he was gonna call the school. I'll get an update.
Okay, tour wardrobe is all put away. Everything is back to normal. (walks between Kevin and Joe and touches Joe's knee) Snow angels?
I'm hungry. I say pizza, who's in?
Joe
I'll call Maria. Hey, Stell, um... you don't really seem that bummed that the tour just got canceled.
Oh, well... Oh, I mean, I can't say I'm not not bummed that I'll get to see you every day over the summer.
Joe
Yeah.
Joe
I can say that I'm not unhappy that you're not not bummed.
Well, that makes me kind of happy. I mean, you can understand that, right?
Joe
I mean, that depends. What are we talking about?
Joe
You're right, yeah. Let's go get that.
Joe
(runs to tell his brothers) Guys, guys, dad just got off the phone with the school. Nick gets to take a makeup test, which means if he gets a certain score, which is-- what is it again?
Joe
100, he passes geometry.
That means the tour's back on. Five-second dance party.
What? I had two seconds left.
There's no way I can get 100.
Sure it is. It's easy. Just get them all right.
I took on way too many things-- the test. the tour preparations. Thought I could handle it, but... now I have no time to learn what I need to know.
Joe
Kevin, you got a "D" in geometry.
Yes, and he got an "F." So if we combine our two scores, we get a... "E." We get an "E."
And I'm the one that failed the test.
Joe
(writes on couple papers) I just came up with awesome way for Nick to ace that geometry. Check it out.
Do you really think this will work? It is like the oldest trick in the book.
Joe
Mmm, let's test it out, shall we? (opens the book) No, see, the oldest trick in the book is... what's that on your shirt?
Right, you got me. (fells for the trick)
Joe
What I came up for Nick is the second-oldest trick in the book. It's right after... the oldest trick in the book is what's that on your shirt?
What? Oh! You got me again. (fells for it a second time) Oh, Joe, your shoe's untied. Watch out.
Joe
Kevin, do you really think I'm gonna fall for the third-oldest trick in the book? (thuds)
Jonas · 237 quotes
