Stella Malone quotes from Jonas

Stella

Okay. If I have to keep making your pants bigger, the world is going to have a denim shortage.

Stella

Any girl who is the proud owner of a rhinestone incrusted pencil case, should not be criticizing anybody.

Joe

I'll wear a disguise. (Picks up near by bow-tie and puts it on.) It’s okay. It’s still me, Joe!

Stella

Joe, you’re a genius!

Joe

I know.

Stella

I bet I could disguise you guys enough to sneak you through the fans.

Kevin

Excellent! I’ll go as Joe, Joe will go as Nick, and Nick will go as me!

Stella

You know that idea is so good, we should save it for the next time we’re stuck somewhere.

Kevin

That's what you said last time.

Macy

I call it a, Joe-tato chip. (Laughs) It was worth every penny.

Stella

Wait. That fifty dollars you borrowed from me was spent on a Joe-tato chip?

Macy

Awesome, right?

Stella

Awesome wrong. I wouldn’t have lent you the money if I knew that’s what you were gonna spend it on.

Macy

Wow. I never realized our friendship came with so many conditions attached.

Nick

Good lungs. And if she can carry a tune, Kevin can help her sound awesome.

Kevin

Besides how bad could she be?

Stella

Ok, one time during a softball game, she was singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," and they called animal control because they thought there was an injured manatee on the field. A manatee!

Kevin

[Struming guitar] Manatees. You know the way we treat these friendly cow-people of the sea... says a lot about the way we treat each other.

Nick

Didn't you tell him we don't have time for songs? Put the guitar down and turn the lights back on. [Kevin sat down, putting his guitar down as the lights turned on] Thank you.

Macy

As president of the JONAS fan club, I'm trying to decide to which new JONAS picture to post on the JONAS fan club website? Help me pick?

Stella

Yes!

Macy

Okay, pouty and intense JONAS or goofy and adorable JONAS?

Stella

Ms. Sherman just barfed all over her desk and went home sick. No algebra test today!

Macy

You weren't even listening to me.

Stella

Um, I don't have to listen to you because you say the same thing every day. JONAS, JONAS, JONAS. You can't go two seconds without talking about them.

Macy

Well we all have our obsessions... except for JONAS. They are so mentally fit.

Stella

I don't have any obsessions.

Macy

What are you talking about? Look at you. You're addicted to texting. Your thumbs are turning into tiny sumo wrestlers.

Stella

Really?

Macy

Mm-hmm

Stella

I'm not addicted to texting. In fact, I bet I could go longer without texting than you could go talking about JONAS

Macy

Bet?

Stella

And the winner?

Macy

Wins.

Stella

You're on. Starting in five seconds.

Macy

JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS!

Macy

I saw this excellent new Jo-

Stella

I'm sorry. JONAS What?

Macy

Jo-ging suit. You know for when I go jo-ging. I love those t-shirts saw Ni-

Stella

Ni-who?

Macy

Ni-body. Mm-hmm.

Stella

It's just a matter of time before you say something about JONAYS

Macy

It's pronounced JO- Oh, nice try. How is this easy for you? I bet you're closet-texting.

Stella

No1 I just happen to have willpower and just to ease your suspicious mind, why don't you hold onto this.

Macy

You're gonna break.

Stella

Nuh-uh! Without my little phone screen to stare at.

Macy

Hmm

Stella

I am seeing much more of the world and it is beautiful. Macy, you have brown eyes and a little something in your teeth. Right there.

How did this magazine get in my locker?

Joe

I have no idea. (A montage of Joe is shown trying to put the magazine in the locker by shoving it, then by using the baseball bat, then by using a hammer and a garden shovel while wearing goggles and then with a toothpick and it successfully enters the locker so he leaves happily.) But take a look on the cover says "Joe of JONAS. A regular guy there's a picture of me bowling in rental shoes, size 9 regular.

Regular people don't have have their faces on the cover of magazines.

Joe

Stella! This is my friend, Stella. We've been best friends since I was three. Stella, can you tell her what a regular I am?

Stella

Macy, why don't you tell her?

Macy

I--I-- I don't know who you are, mister. I don't know that you're a giant rock star and wear size 9 regular bowling shoes. Leave me alone!

Stella

Classic Macy, I can't to tell-- no phone. (whispers) No life.

Joe

This isn't going well for me, is it?

Look, Joe, last year I went out with a guy who was also a star. He was a champion mathlete and all I would do was replace the batteries in his calculators and sharpen his pencils.

Joe

I would never be like that. I hate calculators and I don't have a pencil.

I just don't think it wouldn't work out between us. (She closes her and leaves)

Joe

But I like like you.

Nick

30's your limit, bro. I'm cutting you off.

Joe

Don't count, man! That's not cool.

Stella

Hey, guys. What's up?

Kevin

Did you bring the stuff?

Stella

What stuff? Send.

Kevin

Joe is in crisis mode. I texted you over an hour ago. I needed you to bring the rainbow sprinkled donuts and the coffee flavored ice cream.

Stella

"Stop yelling at us." (laughing and gives the notepad back to Nick) I'm fine. Everything's fine. Sorry about the yelling. Ice cream and donuts, coming right up.

Nick

Stella, you do realize you do not have a cell phone in your hands, right?

Stella

I may not have a cell phone, but at least I have my sanity. Send. (she leaves and Nick sits on the stool across from Joe)

Joe

I only joined the orchestra so I could impress Angelina, but we just made things worse.

Kevin

We?

Nick

Joe, music is the one thing that you and Angelina both love. Show her how passionate you are and she'll come around.

Joe

How can I show her my passion for music with this? (picks up the triangle and plays it)

Nick

All right. Let's not be so quick to judge the triangle. In many ways you and the triangle are a lot alike.

Kevin

Three-sided? Made of metal? Really annoying?

Nick

No, disrespected. Put down!

Joe

Misunderstood!

Nick

Right.

Kevin

Yeah, totally! And he's made of metal?

Nick

What's up, Macy?

Macy

It's--it's--the boys who shall not be named. J-J--J-J--J--

Nick

J--J

Joe

What? What? What?

Stella

I can't take it anymore! Yes! Yes! Good. Texting Good! O.M.G.! Oh, I'm here, baby. Mama's here. I'll never leave you again.

Macy

You're texting! You're texting!

Stella

Yeah, I cracked, okay? You win! Just leave us alone. (she leaves)

Macy

I can talk. I can talk. JONAS. JONAS. JONAS. Joe of JONAS, can you sign my program from last night's performance?

Joe

Sure, why not? Does anybody have a pen? (he checks his pockets)

Joe

Oops.

Run!

Nick

The song will be done when it's done. I'm sorry. It's just that everybody's been on my case all day.

Stella

Yeah, I know. I heard about your block.

Nick

Yeah, I got it off with a chisel. (he picks it up)

Stella

I meant your writer's block.

Nick

What if I really can't write again? What if it's over for me? Well, I'm 16, I had a good run.

Stella

It's not over. I mean, all artists have blocks. Besides, I brought something might help. Ooh! Taa-daa!(She takes out a jacket from her bag)

Nick

Wow.

Stella

You like it? Embroidered all by hand. Don't even ask me how long it took.

Nick

Okay.

Stella

11 hours! No bathroom breaks. And do you know why? Because I believe in you.

Nick

Thank you. That means a lot.

Stella

Well, come on, aren't you gonna try it on?

Nick

Yeah. (he tries on his jacket)

Stella

I mean, I don't know, I thought it might inspire you. (she gasps) I am amazing.

Nick

It's awesome. (Stella giggles)

Stella

Well, that's why I make the big bucks. (she picks up her bag) Mention that to your dad, because he pays me and I don't actually make the big bucks. (then she leaves)

Nick

Oh no! I'm coming apart the seams.(he runs out of the classroom to find Stella in the hallway and he sees her walking up the stairs but she doesn't hear him yelling for her)

Nick

Stella! (the elevator dings so Nick enters it and his guitar's neck breaks as the elevator closes and the other half of the lands on the other side of the elevator then he and Amy are shocked)

Amy

Ouch.

Nick

I can't believe I broke Lucille Jr's. neck.

Amy

Um, you know Nick, I'm always telling my friend Jules how cute I think you are, which I do. And she's always just like, "Amy ask him out". So I am. How about we get something to eat or something after school?

Nick

I would love to. Um, but I'm kind of busy today.

Amy

Oh, that's what I figured. You probably have girls asking you out every five minutes.

Nick

If I didn't have to write a song--

Amy

You don't have to make up some lame excuse, I can handle just a plain no. (she leaves the elevator)

Nick

But it-- (he walks out of the elevator but he turns around to take his jacket and one of sleeve is torn by it but he gasps as Stella realized that the jacket is ripped)

Stella

Oh no, you didn't.

Nick

Stella, I am so sorry. The jacket got caught on a nail and the sleeve got stuck in the elevator. I know you can fix it, though. (he gives the jacket back to her)

Stella

Sure. (she rips the sleeves of Nick's shirt which he notices and she takes the jacket from him then she storms off angrily)

Nick

So we're good?

Stella

Hey. I fixed the jacket. Look, I know it was an accident, so try it on. Any luck with song-writing?

Nick

Actually, I wrote a song in a dream I had last night.

Stella

Hey.

Stella

Kevin's idea?

Nick

Yeah.

Stella

It actually makes sense.

Nick

It was bound to happen eventually. (he starts to tear apart the seams)

Stella

Well, the only thing you did yesterday, I could remember was ruin my jacket. No! no no no No! No! (she takes back the jacket)

Nick

I'm sorry. It's for the band.

Joe

Stella, it's for the band. (Stella goes to other door but Kevin is blocking her way)

Kevin

What they said.

Stella

Look, an aardvark. (she distracts Kevin)

Kevin

I'm not gonna fall for that one.(he and Stella have a staring contest with each other then he falls for her trick and she leaves the classroom while he is distracted)

Kevin

But he's probably cute.

Joe

Kevin!

Kevin

I can't believe I fell it again.

Nick

Go!

Joe

Check.

Kevin

Stop! (he wants Nick to be pooped by the birds) Go! (Kevin, Joe, Nick and Stella runs from the atrium)

Joe

Boo!

Stella

No! No! Nobody is gonna rip this jacket except me. (she rips the jacket instead of Kevin, Joe and Nick)

Kevin

There's one more thing. (he starts to unravel the seams)

Nick

Sorry, Stell, we have to repeat everything.

Stella

Well, in that case...(she rips Nick's shirt sleeves again and she takes one of his shirt sleeves then she storms off)

Nick

So we're good now?

Joe

Check.

Stella

Whoo! You guys, that sounded so awesome. Okay, wardrobe's all set.

Stella

I think it is so cool that you guys are performing on "Great Morning USA" live right here from the firehouse.

Kevin

Yeah, and Dad said there were gonna be a million people watching all at the same time. That has to be a huge TV.

Stella

Yep. Oh! What is this? You guys invited to Jacques Le Fajette's spring preview? He's like my fashion designing idol. Please tell me you're going and please tell me you're taking me with you.

Joe

Who wants to see a bunch of dudes who look like they haven't slept in months stumble down a runway? No thank you.

Stella

Guys, um, this is the spring preview for women's fashions. That means there's gonna be, like 50 of the most beautiful women in the world there.

Joe

I'm there.

Nick

Yeah, Who said I wasn't going?

Kevin

I've always been interested in women's fashion, since about three seconds ago.

Nick

When is it?

Stella

Tuesday, 6:00 p.m.

Nick

Can't go. That's the day I mix the final tracks for the record. It's the only day we could lock in the studio. Sorry.

Stella

It's okay.

Kevin

I can't go either. We have cheerleading practice on the trampolines.

Stella

Wait, can't you go anyway because--

Kevin

Trampolines.

Stella

Well, it looks like, it's just you and me. Do you wanna grab a bite or something before?

Joe

Cool.

Stella

Bye. (she leaves)

Nick

Pretty exciting, Joe. Your first date with Stella.

Kevin

Aw, we're really happy for you two crazy kids.

Joe

It's not a date. We're all going to the fashion show together, except you guys are not coming.

Kevin

Yeah, sure, not a date with Stella... alone together.

Joe

Stella only sees me as a friend, okay?

Stella

Hey, Joe. Okay. Since we're going to the fashion as a couple, we probably don't wanna clash. So don't wear anything darker than royal blue or anything lighter I guess than sky blue. In fact, just stay the heck away from blue.

Joe

Stella, I just remembered, I can't make it that night.

Stella

Why not?

Joe

I gotta trim my eyebrows. You know, these caterpillars can get out of control.

Stella

Yeah, I understand. Well, um, I was looking forward to it.

Joe

You were?

Stella

Yeah. I mean, to seeing all those fashions. Wow. Um... But we're still having lunch together tomorrow, right?

Joe

Absolutely.

Stella

Great. It's a date.

Joe

(he turns to Nick and Kevin) No, it's not.

Macy

I heard you and Joe are going on your first date. Congratulations.

Stella

Joe and I are not dating. You know that. We're just really really good friends. I mean, besides, Joe is a big rock star. He can see any girl that he wants to.

Macy

Stella, for someone who's so smart, sometimes, you don’t even know what you don’t know you know.

Stella

(turns to Macy) I know I have no idea what you talking about. You know?

Macy

You are all in your head. Get out of there. When it comes to romance, you need to follow your head.

Stella

Please. The only thing that your heart has ever followed is a JONAS.

Macy

(she gasps) I protest. I admit I used to be smidge obsessed, but I have matured.

Randolph

Hi, Macy. I was wondering about-- Well, thinking about asking you-- Would you like to go to the basketball game with me Saturday? I mean, if you want.

Macy

(sighs) I would love to, Randolph. Meet me here at 6:00, okay?

Randolph

Great. Will you excuse me for a second? I've gotta go tell everyone in the world. Carl, Steve, Steve's brother...

Stella

I'm impressed. You have matured.

Macy

Thank you. Oh! Hey, look. There's a stain on the in the shape of Nick's face. That is not an obsession. That is a fact. Whoa whoa whoa! Step around the stain. Around.

Joe

(he walks down the stars) Stella.

Stella

(she turns around) Oh, hey.

Joe

Hey, I can't do lunch today.

Stella

Why not?

Joe

I have to put reinforcements in all my loose-leaf holes.

Stella

Yeah, right, okay. Well, how about tomorrow?

Joe

I can't.

Stella

Wednesday?

Joe

Hm-mm.

Stella

Thursday?

Joe

Sorry.

Stella

Oh, okay. You know what? No, not okay, Joe. I mean, if I didn't know that we were just friends, I'd assume that you were sending me some kind of a message.

Joe

What message?

Stella

Oh, I don't know. Usually when cancels on me twice in a row and then three more times in a row. I kind of assume I'm not that person's favorite person. (she leaves upset)

Joe

Stella, wait. (he walks after Stella) Come with me to the big game on Saturday.

Stella

What?

Joe

Come with me. I can get courtside seats. My brother's s cheerleader.

Stella

Okay, that sounds really great. Go, mantises.

Joe

Awesome, we're on. It's a da-ate-- It's we're on. (he walks away from Stella then she leaves)