Guys! (runs towards to Nick and Joe) (bumps into Joe)
Sorry, guys. Hey, I just got a text from Anya saying that she is going to be coming to our school to be an exchange student. You know-- Anya, the president of our Scandinavian fan club Anya?
The really strong, the really blonde that I can't stop thinking about. (sighs) (a thought bubble of Anya appears) (pops)
You two were really crushing on each other when we toured Scandinavia.
Kevin Well, all the long walks, the dancing, the romantic dinners, the regular dinners-- it really was the best 2 1/2 days of my young life.
Remember how bummed you were when the tour ended? And you thought your heart never be...(pulls out pen and paper) mended? (starts to write)
That rhymed! Wait a second, do you really care or are you just writing a new song?
I care. (continues to write)
Do you wanna go on tour again, or not?
So she's coming all the way to America to go to this school?
And to see me. (Anya appears)
AnyaKevin!
Anya! (romantic music playing) (he and Anya run to each other) (Anya lifts Kevin off the floor then they dance)
Kevin had, like, three milkshakes for lunch, so… I think we should get out of here before he blows.
Yeah. (agrees then leaves with Nick)
I really think you're going to like the atrium. It's like having the outside on the inside.
Anya
An outside inside outside-- you're right, I love it.
(laughs) Oh good. (Nick, Joe and Stella are going to spy on Kevin and Anya)
Oh, look at Kevin. He must be freezing. I mean, his lips are turning blue.
That always happens when he likes a girl.
You know, I've really missed you, since we ended our tour in Scandinavia.
Anya
Me too. Do you know what else I've missed since Scandinavia? (takes a cd player from her bag)
Anya
Yes!
KAKevin and Anya
(unison) Our song! (pop music playing) (they started dancing)
She dances just like my grandma. Well, back, when she had her own hips.
Quick, everybody look serious in a different direction.
She dances just like my grandma. Well, back when she had her own hips. (Nick stops watching Kevin and Anya dancing then turns around to see other students laughing) (Nick stands up and he walks to Joe and Stella then Nick grabs their arms)
Anya
No one would dance with me like this back at home. They think I'm different.
You know, me too. You know, we have a winter wonderland dance coming up.
Anya
(stops dancing and turns around to notice that the other students are laughing) (stops the boombox) (the students are still laughing) I made you a present.
Anya
Uh-huh. (takes a snow globe from her bag and gives it to Kevin)
It's an outside on the inside.
Anya
In an outside inside outside.
You know, I'm happy on the inside and outside. (ballad music playing)
See? You know, I feel like we're really alike, except you have blonde hair and I have brown hair. (Anya picks up her bag)
Anya
And I'm wearing a dress and you're wearing pants.
And your name's Anya and my name's Kevin. (school bell ringing) School. (opens the door for him and Anya)
Anya
Ooh.
I'll find you, you evil undercover paparazzi. (her cellphone beeps) Oh no, my new phone is take pictures and uploading them to my website by itself. (gasps) The evil undercover paparazzi is me!
Okay, I am done with you, you are going to feel like the perfect girlfriend for Kevin. First lesson, I am going to teach you how to walk gracefully. Watch me. (shows a demonstration and Anya watches)
Anya
Wow, that's beautiful.
Anya
How did you get your bones to move like that?
Oh, you just pretend you don't have any.
Anya
Oh! (tries to walk gracefully but can't)
And canceling my afternoon plans.
When you're on a date, it's always nice to start with a compliment. For example, I might say to you, you have a wonderful smile.
Anya
Thank you! I have six teeth too many.
Anya
Uhh uhh...
Oh. Good, thanks. Now you go. Go ahead, compliment me.
Anya
Uh... huh-uh. You have very big hands for such a small girl.
Oh yeah? They found sharks with less teeth than you. I mean... I think you're really starting to get it. Let's move on. Kevin? (he turns around) Aha... um, whoa, hey. I was gonna say I had a surprise for you but I think you beat me to it.
As a matter of fact... I have. I turned her into an American girlfriend for you.
Anya
Hey, Kev. What's up bro-ham?
Whoa whoa whoa. Um, we didn't rehearse that greeting. Uh, what's with the fake dog?
Anya
I'm totally allergic to real dogs, but I totally wasn't going to let that stop me from having the totally perfect American girl accessory.
What about all the stuff we worked on?
Anya
Oh, I found much better stuff in this magazine.
Anya, what happened to you?
Anya
Oh, my name's not Anya anymore. It's Kimmy. I changed it. With a little, you know, heart over the "i." (clears throat) Why are you dressed like that?
I wanted to make you feel at home.
Anya
Okay, like my grandpa's home.
Anya
Kimmy! Kimmy.
Right, Kimmy. Um... I think I liked the old you better.
Anya
Oh, well, I'm still old me but the new me just looks fantastic in this outfit. Right, Bootsy? Yes! Bye. (leaves with her magazine and stuffed dog)
You broke Anya. (he gives the thermos to Stella then he leaves)
Jonas · 237 quotes
