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9 QUOTES

A character in Jonas

Aunt Lisa quotes from Jonas

Played by Beth Crosby · 9 quotes

Aunt Lisa

Played by Beth Crosby

Jonas · 237 quotes

9th most-quoted character in Jonas: in 9 of its 237 quotes
Most scenes with: Stella Malone (9), Macy Misa (6), Joe Lucas (4)

Scenes with Aunt Lisa 9

What up, fans? Macy here, your online source for all things JONAS. We just landed in sunny California. Check out all the glitz and glamour.

Macy, a little help here.

Sorry, just getting in a quick video blog. So, stella, care to comment on your Will-they-or-won't-they joe-mance?

Camera off.

What?

Okay, first of all, what did I tell you about acting like a crazy JONAS fan person?

To not to.

Thank you. And second, I'm not telling the whole world about me and Joe.

You're not even telling me about you and Joe. Are you guys going to be a couple or what?

I don't know. It has been two months. I barely remember what he looks like. (Macy shows Stella a picture of Joe) Oh, darn it. He's cute.

And by the end of the day he may just be your boyfriend.

I know.

Aunt Lisa

Stella-Bell.

Aunt Lisa.

Aunt Lisa

Wow, you grew up on me.

Thank you. Thanks for picking us up.

Aunt Lisa

Sure.

Where are you parked.

Aunt Lisa

Oh, right here. Pile in. Cute bag.

Okay, so Barnaby is still with us... I think. (Aunt Lisa chuckles) Barnaby. Barnaby. (cat meows, growls)

Aunt Lisa

Now listen, I know I'm your chaperone this summer, but remember, I'm the cool aunt, okay? You can tell me anything.

Stella's gonna date Joe from JONAS.

Aunt Lisa

What? I'm calling your mom.

Aunt Lisa. I thought you were the cool aunt.

Aunt Lisa

Not when it comes to dating rock stars. I made that mistake once. Okay, 12 times.

No, Joe's different. I mean, I've known him since we were little kids. He's funny. And he's sweet and smart.

Aunt Lisa

Yeah, and he's still a rock star. Look, honey, I just-- there's always gonna be another girl, and I just don't want to see you get hurt.(melodic ring tone playing)

That's Joe's ring. Where's my phone?

I don't know.

Where's my phone?

Ow!

I'm sorry. Find it. Find it.

Ow. Ow.

Hey, Stell, hope you landed okay. Anyway, we're throwing a party tonight. Can't wait to see you. Call me. Oh, sorry.

It's fine. I'm fine. Wow, you're Joe from JONAS.

Vanessa Page. Your show rocks. Me and my brothers never miss an episode of "Malibu High."

That means so much, because I love your work.

Seriously?

So seriously. Your last album helped me get through a bad haircut.

Glad I could help.

Let's go shopping.

Yeah.

Play it again.

Hey, Stell

Okay, stop.

He calls you Stell. It's a cute nickname. It's affectionate.

Aunt Lisa

My rocker had a nickname for me too-- Lis, as in, "hey, Lis, it's over. Can I get my cat back?" Could he, Barnaby? (Barnaby meows)

Keep going.

Hope you landed okay.

Stop.

He's aware of your itinerary. And he cares about your safety.

More.

Anyway, we're throwing a party tonight.

Stop. Okay, big question-- who is "we Is it "we" as in him and his brothers Or "we" as in him and--

Aunt Lisa

The laker girls? Let's roll.

Okay, can I say something? Joe called and said he can't wait to see you. So let's go to Aunt Lisa's, get super pretty And go blow up the party. What do you say?

(sighs) I say yes. And you know what? When I see Joe, everything will just be clear.

Exactly.

Aunt Lisa

Hi, hello. Yeah, I'm gonna need a push over here. So just put your back into it. Thanks.

Hey, fans. It's Macy here again. We are at the crib de la JONAS, which is really bad spanish, but it's still a pretty cool place. Let's check in with the guys and see what they have planned this summer. So Kevin, what's up?

Oh, hey. Just feeding my baby. Found out bacon grease made her backfire. But what she really loves is Chinese. So big shout to all my friends over at hunan lotus. Thanks for sending over all that peanut oil. Oh, and keep frying up those greasy egg rolls.

This book's got it all-- It's got adventure, romance. The cover's pretty cool. And the movie's starring Vanessa Page, although she told me to keep that totes hush-hush.

You realize this is going on the web?

Can we do that over?

So what's going on?

Say hello to our new summer roommate.

Aunt Lisa

Hi. I spoke to Stella's mom and we decided the best way to chaperone these girls was up close and personal.

Awesome. Thanks, mom.

Nick.

Hey, what's up?

Just doing a video blog about what the band is up to this summer.

Just working on a california-inspired song.

Oh, can you give the fans a preview?

(plays one note) We've only been here one day.

Yo, what's up, people? D.Z. Here. And this summer I plan to spend 24/7 with JONAS. I mean, if the days were longer, We'd probably spend 25/8, right?

BMBig Man

You got my muffins?

No.

BMBig Man

Goodbye.

Okay, well, that was the behind-the-scenes look. Macy Misa is saying Welcome to a summer like no other.

The director said she wants a Joe from JONAS type. How do I look more Joe-ish?

Okay, how about something from your last music video? So a leather jacket... you like that?

Oh, yeah.

-...And glasses - How about a bandanna?

- Classic Joe.

Classic Joe. I like it.

Hi, they just emailed me the scenes for your audition later.

Cool. Just put it over there.

I don't know, man. I was looking them over, and they're pretty emotional. I think we should go over it.

Kevin, what do you really know about directing?

Well, as much as you really know about acting.

The whole thing's practically a done deal.

Okay, man. Whatever.

You know, Kevin's right. I mean, you've never done this before. You should prepare.

It's all about my look. Vanessa said the whole audition's a formality.

Vanessa? Well, she would know.

You know there's nothing going on between us, right?

Yeah yeah, I know. And even if there was, I'd be fine with it. We agreed to be friends, so...

You're the best.

I know. Do you want that one?

Yeah. Aunt Lisa, hey. Mind if I help you with those?

Aunt Lisa

Oh, I see what you're doing. You're trying to get on my good side. It's not happening, no. I don't trust rock stars.

To carry your groceries?

Aunt Lisa

Good point. Thanks.

Aunt Lisa

Isn't this fun?

Mm-hmm.

Aunt Lisa

What are you knitting?

A scarf.

Aunt Lisa

Oh.

Or a sock.

Aunt Lisa

Huh.

It depends what part of me gets cold first. What about you?

Aunt Lisa

A cat sweater.

Doesn't your cat have fur?

Aunt Lisa

(baby voice) But it goes so well with his little hat.

He's taking care of Vanessa's dog.

No, he is not!

Yeah, he is. I mean, I don't know how they got so far so fast. Usually you meet, you flirt, you date, you introduce him to your parents And then maybe you let him dogsit.

Well, he has clearly moved on and so should you.

Aunt Lisa

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I am moving, baby, And Ben is my moving van.

Aunt Lisa

Oh, after I meet him?

- He's not a rock star.

Aunt Lisa

- Love him.

Yes, ladies, this date with Ben is going down. - I am talking frozen yogurt...

Mm-hmm.

With toppings. (Aunt Lisa gasps) - Maybe a swirl.

- Now that is the Stella who came to play in L.A. - Hippy bump. (squeals)

I'm good. I'm getting ready.

- Oh, I'll help.

Okay, Aunt Lisa, I'm ready. (removes her robe and sits)

Aunt Lisa

Oh, thanks for letting me practice on you, Stella-Bell. You know, I think massage is my true calling. I do. I know I said that about acting. And candle-making. - And landscaping.

(takes a towel and puts it on the head of the massage chair)- Hey, it's a free massage. I'm in.

Aunt Lisa

Oh, I am going to be charging a pretty penny for this, Once I get into massage school.

- Get in?

Aunt Lisa

- Mm-hmm.

I thought-- I thought you were already-- you know?

Aunt Lisa

- Oh no. Let's begin.

- Okay.

Aunt Lisa

Who's a good girl? Do you like that? Hmmm? (giggles)

- Aunt Lisa?

Aunt Lisa

- Yeah?

Is there any chance that before me you've only massaged, say, a cat?

Aunt Lisa

Oh yeah. Oh, there's a chance.

- Ow.

Aunt Lisa

- Sorry.

- Ow.

Aunt Lisa

- Honey, you're just so tense. Oh, look, you have a whole row - Of knots back here.

- That's my spine!

Aunt Lisa

No, it's not! Here, let me just get this one right here for you. - (cracks)

- Oooh, okay, Ow ow, I can't. I just can't. It hurts. I can't feel my legs. - It's over.

Aunt Lisa

- I knew it. Failed again. I shouldn't even try.

- Aunt Lisa.

Aunt Lisa

- No, it's true, okay? Everything your mom said about me, it's true.

You know what mom says about you? She says that-- that you're a sweet soul. And that you're the best sister in the world.

Aunt Lisa

- Hmph.

- She trusted you to look out for me while I'm in L.A. - And I'm so glad that you're here.

Aunt Lisa

- Really?

- Yeah. You're a great aunt.

Aunt Lisa

- And you know what? - Hmm? I think you could totally be a great massage therapist. - I really think I could.

- There you go. You know, just research it a little bit. Maybe go online, and...Just learn about what feels good, you know, for humans.

Aunt Lisa

Or I could become a cat masseuse right now.

Dealer's choice. You know, whatever you do, I believe in you.

Aunt Lisa

Ohhh, thanks, Stella-Bell. - ( cracks ) - oh, sorry.

You know, I'm just gonna go.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jonas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.