Kevin Lucas quotes from Jonas

Kevin

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Kevin

Dude, I think your biggest math problem is, Joe plus trash can equals bonkers. And YES! I said it.

Kevin

(whispering) Nick. This is your conscience speaking. Even though it sounds like your big brother Kevin, it's not. Okay, it's very important tomorrow bake lots of cookies for me-- I mean, for him. Like I said, it just sounds like Kevin. Okay, let's review. Tomorrow-- cookies, lots of them. Now go to sleep. Sleepy sleep. Go to sleep. Okay, sleep. (tells Nick) Don't forget the cookies. Cookies. (goes back to his bed)

Joe

Do you see what I see?

Kevin

A cloud in the shape of a rabbit. Cute.

Joe

No. Lower.

Kevin

A rabbit in the shape of a cloud. Even cuter.

Joe

Higher

Kevin

Nick with a goofy smile on his face. (Hesitates) Wait... Nick with a goofy smile on his face?

Joe

So what's her name?

Nick

Who's name?

Kevin

The girl you're crushin' on.

Nick

What are you guys, 11? I think it's Jenny... or Penny (looks at the ceiling).

Joe

Nick, you always fall, too hard, too fast. It’s like you meet a girl, and boom, instant love. And boom you get dumped. And boom broken heart. And me and Kevin are there picking up the pieces.

Kevin

Aw, it’s Nick’s broken heart.

(Pretend cries.)

Nick

That happened like, one time.

(In unison.) Six times.

Nick

Okay, whatever, but I'm taking things nice and slow (closes locker and walks away).

Kevin

There were like 100 pictures of her in his locker, weren't there? Well that's what we thought.

Joe

Look at them so cozy in there.

Kevin

It would just be so rude of us to butt in… Oh we definitely gotta do that.

Your mother was the twenty third love of my life.

Kevin

No way.

Joe

Wow!

I was walking down the isle of the school bus and passed twenty-two girls before I saw your mom.

Nick

Seriously? How did you get to the oldest?

Kevin

Nick, I’m not really this old. It’s a wig, and mustache taped to my face!

Oh, hey. The first Christmas in the firehouse.

Joe

Do you remember when grandma burnt those cookies and we had to call the fire department?

Nick

Yeah, and then our phone rang.

Man, time goes by so fast.

Joe

(wipes eyes with tissue.)

Nick

Are you crying?

Joe

What? No. A bug flew into my eye.(Looks over at Kevin.) Are you crying?

Kevin

Yes.

Joe

What do you got there?

Kevin

It’s a little extra present for mom. (Pulls box of cake mix out of bag.) It’s a do-it-yourself birthday cake.

Joe

Very classy. (Take box from Kevin.) How about, we make the cake… for her?

Joe

That’s for me! I ordered pizza!

Nick

That’s for me. I ordered pizza.

Kevin

That’s for me, I ordered pizza!

Joe

I miss her.

Kevin

Enough to sing about?

Nick

Oh yeah.

Joe

I'll wear a disguise. (Picks up near by bow-tie and puts it on.) It’s okay. It’s still me, Joe!

Stella

Joe, you’re a genius!

Joe

I know.

Stella

I bet I could disguise you guys enough to sneak you through the fans.

Kevin

Excellent! I’ll go as Joe, Joe will go as Nick, and Nick will go as me!

Stella

You know that idea is so good, we should save it for the next time we’re stuck somewhere.

Kevin

That's what you said last time.

Kevin

You read my e-mails?

Only the ones you’ve opened.

Nick

I told you “Kevin’s password” wasn’t a good password.

Nick

You have something on your head.

Joe

(Reaches for head and take notepaper off his head.) “Guys, I decided to go home early.”

Nick

(Sounding excited.) Carl went home?

Joe

“Sorry this didn’t work out. I know I can be really annoying sometimes.”

Kevin

You can be really annoying, Joe.

Joe

I’m still reading the note.

Kevin

Oh, sorry.

Joe

“The only cool thing about me is that I know you guys.

Kevin

Joe, don’t say that. You have really cool hair.

Joe

Still reading.