Jeeves quotes from Jeeves and Wooster

Bertie Wooster

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by Jove!

Oh by Jove, oh by Jove, oh by Jove!

Bertie Wooster

Oh By Jingo, won't you hear our love?

Madeline Bassett

Will you kindly raise your voice?

Louder!

We will build for you a hut!

Yes!

You will be our favourite nut!

Correct!

Bertie Wooster

We'll have a lot of little oh-by-Joveses!

Jeeves

Dress them up in clogs and clotheses.

Bertie Wooster

Oh By Jingo said by gosh by gee!

G, A, B, C, D, E, stop!

Madeline Bassett

Oh by jiminy, please don't bother me!

Bother her, bother her!

Bertie Wooster

So they all went away, saying

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by Oh By Jingo, by gee, you're the only one for me!

Jeeves

Bring me lobster on a clean plate!

Bertie Wooster

Ha! Do you ever feel like throwing open the window and shouting that the world is a wonderful place, Jeeves?

Jeeves

Erm... no, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Or dancing in the street, scattering petals on the passers-by?

Jeeves

Only infrequently, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Something up with the bath?

Jeeves

The water appears reluctant to drain, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Oh. Pulled the plug out, have you?

Jeeves

That was amongst the first things I thought of, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Who was that fellow with the circles, Jeeves?

Jeeves

You are perhaps thinking of the Florentine poet Dante Alighieri, sir, who, in the first part of his Divina Commedia, is conducted by Virgil through the nine circles of Hell.

Bertie Wooster

That's the chap. Well, those fellows he bumped into had it easy.

Jeeves

One could beg to take issue with you there, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Were any of them engaged to marry Florence Craye?

Jeeves

The poet makes no mention of it, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Or condemned to stand, whey-faced and trembling, at the altar steps while Madeline Bassett advanced on them, up the aisle, on the arm of her father?

Jeeves

Indeed not, sir.

Bertie Wooster

Well, it had to happen to somebody one day, I suppose. And it happened to me today. Fate has dealt me the royal flush, Jeeves: I'm engaged to Madeline Bassett and Lady Florence at the same time.

Jeeves

Oh. [pause] Oh dear, sir.

Madeline Bassett

We should loosen his collar.

Jeeves

I hardly think such drastic measures are called for, Miss Bassett.