Grandpa Piggley Winks quotes from Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

Piggley

But what if Mammy made a big mistake, and didn't put in enough sugar? Now, wouldn't that be just terrible? She'd be so embarrassed! "Jakers!", she'd say. "Never again, will I be able to hold my head up in polite company! I didn't put enough sugar in my pie! Oh...!" [faints dramatically]

Piggley

Jakers, Ferny! I'm doing all the jumping. Why are you breathing so hard? [the goat snorts out steam behind Piggley; he gets scared] And... and, and... snorting?! [feels the goat's beard] And... when did you start shaving?

Piggley

[nervously] Hello, goat. You wouldn't... by any chance... be after... these apples?

Grandpa Piggley

That pie tasted every bit as bad as a bullfrog's bunion. But guess what? We ate it. We ate every last bite. Ugh... Just thinking about it makes me stomach turn somersaults.

Piggley

[telling Ferny about the Salmon of Knowledge] A long time ago, in the clear blue waters of Lough Derg, there lived a simple salmon. Hanging over his watery home, there was a very special hazelnut. And inside each and every nut on that tree was all the knowledge in the whole world. One day, one of those nuts fell into the loch. And the salmon gobbled it all up, filling him to the gills with everything there is to know about... well... absolutely everything.

Piggley

[reading from Elly's book about leprechauns] "Leprechauns are excellent shoemakers, but they only make one shoe, never a pair." Hmm. "When he's finished with his work, the leprechaun always makes a delicious feast. He can sometimes be seen riding a dog or a sheep. All leprechauns--"

Piggley

[gasps] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! He rides a sheep?! Jakers! That doll is a real leprechaun!

Grandpa Piggley

Now going to bed late and getting a good night's sleep after a mad scientist episode was always a bit of a challenge. And even though we knew it was all just pretend, it could sometimes cause our imaginations to get the better of us.

Grandpa Piggley

The imagination is a wonderful, fascinating, terrifying thing, so it is. It can make mountains out of mountains, and monsters out of... just about anything.

Grandpa Piggley

[describing his stage fright] And my confidence disappeared faster than a magician's rabbit.

Piggley

I just don't understand this sheep at all. I've pushed him, I've pulled him, I've whistled at him, I've even yelled at him, and he still won't do what I want him to do, AND I'M THE SHEPHERD!

Grandpa Piggley

Ferny and I really wanted to like Hector's version of "The Hand with the Thirteen Fingers". We truly did. But we couldn't help remembering how much more fun and scary it was when Dannan had told us the story the summer before. Of course, now that I think of it, I don't know if it would have really mattered if Hector had been the greatest storyteller of all time or not. For Ferny and myself, something was missing. And that something was Dannan.

Piggley

See, Hector? Girls can be just as scary as you. Scarier, even!

Grandpa Piggley

[singing Molly Malone while watering his garden]

Piggley

You're not running out into the rain to tell Mam that I'm not sharing a pretend bird with you!

Piggley

[landing on the moon] That's one small step for me, but one giant leap for kid-kind!