Elly Winks quotes from Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

Elly

Don't you be coming home late for dinner now, little dude.

Ferny

Oh, your mother's going to be powerful mad!

Piggley

Plan B. Molly, you go keep Mammy busy outside. We're going to clean up! Like Captain Clean of the Clean Brigade on a really clean, cleany day!

Molly

Okay, Piggley! [goes outside to distract Elly] Mammy! You came back!

Elly

Well, yes. I live here, don't you know?

Molly

[hanging on Mammy's arm] Oh! I am so glad you came home! Now you can... uh... you can hear me alphabet!

Elly

Oh, not right now, pet. I have things to-

Molly

A, B, C... Q, R, 1... I am not so nearly done.

Padrig

Careful with them fairies, son.

Piggley

"Fairies"?! Why, they're just bugs, dad.

Padrig

They could be bugs. Or they could be fairies in disguise. Fairies do that, you know.

Piggley

[disgusted] Agh... Nothin' this ugly could be a fairy, dad.

Padrig

Careful. They don't care much now for insults. They just might turn you into a bug as well.

Piggley

Ow!

Padrig

Fairies work in mysterious ways, you know.

Piggley

[chuckles] Ah, you're just havin' me on. [beat] Aren'tcha?

Padrig

[laughs] Why don'tcha run along and play now, Piggley? These chickens are fed enough.

Piggley

Thanks, dad! [runs off, passing Elly] Bye, mam!

Elly

[to Padrig] Now, what do you want to tell the boy stories like that for?

Padrig

[laughs] Don't worry. Not even Piggley would believe that one!

This is my town - a good town, with good people, and one bad one. Master criminal Big Sty had given me the slip again, and... I was calling it quits for the day. I headed for home, taking a shortcut through the park. That's when she walked up. She was prettier than a French poodle. The smile that made the chickens cackle.

Mr. Trotter... I need your help.

Piggley

[listening to the radio] It's a mysterious lady!

Padrig

Shh.

Helping is my specialty, ma'am.

I think I'm being followed.

Followed by... Big Sty, master of disguise.

Padrig

Shh.

No... I-- I...

[disguised as a policeman; speaking in a Cockney accent] Come with me, ma'am. I'll take ya down the station.

Piggley

No, no! Don't go with him, mysterious lady! Don't go!

She's not going anywhere with you... Big Sty!!

Elly

[gasps]

Padrig

Shh.

Ohhh! Curses! How did you know it was me, Trotter?!

Policemen don't... wear... rubber... boots!

Ohhhhhh! Foiled again!

Padrig

Well, Hornsby...

Mr. Hornsby

That's Mr. Hornsby!

Elly

[clears her throat] Would you like some--

Mr. Hornsby

Please raise your hand before speakin'.

Mr. Hornsby

Ohhhh, sit up, young man!

Mr. Hornsby

Who is laughin'?!

Mr. Hornsby

[tuts disappointed] Oh... [starts grading the family one by one] "F", "F", "F"... "F".

Mr. Hornsby

[dramatically clearing his throat] Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-em?! That is one more big... fat... "F".

Piggley

If he is a leprechaun, he's probably headed for his pot of gold! Come on!

Elly

[calling from inside] Piggley! It's time for supper!

Piggley

Aaaahhh, no! It's always suppertime at the wrong time!

Padrig

What's all the commotion, then?

Elly

Piggley has let a turkey loose in the kitchen.

Piggley

It's not a turkey! I'd never bring a turkey into the house!

Padrig

You're right, Piggley. It's not a turkey.

Elly

Well, then, what is it?

Piggley

It's a dragon!

Padrig

It's a cygnet. A cygnet is a baby swan.

Piggley

A baby swan?!

Elly

Well, excuse me, boys, but I heard you were telling scary stories here. Would it be alright if I listened in?

Padrig

I know she's a girl, but I'm hoping you might make an exception for your own mother.

Hector

Well, uh... Being a mother isn't the same as being a girl.

Piggley

It's okay, Mammy. You can stay.

Elly

Oh, thank you, boys.

Padrig

[on a crossword puzzle] A five-letter word meaning "elf".

Elly

Gnome.

Padrig

Piggley, you're supposed to be in bed.

Piggley

But I love scary shows! Scary Monster Theater is me favorite!

Padrig

Scary Monster Theater is for children. Creepy Theater is for grown-ups.

Elly

That's why it's on after your bedtime.

[on radio] Quiet night, professor?

[on radio] Indeed. Maybe, a little too quiet.

Elly

Piggley, are you under your covers?

Piggley

Uh, yes, mam, I'm under me covers. [snickers]

It's a beautiful night.

Beautiful, but still too quiet.

[gasps] What's that? [panicked] In the cabbage field!

[gasps] IT'S ALIVE!!! CABBAGE!!! ALIVE!!!