Dannan O'Mallard the Duck quotes from Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

Dannan

Made-up news isn't real news, Piggley.

Dannan

Me feet might be red and blue, but me backside is black and blue.

Ferny

Do you think your mother will notice, Piggley?

Piggley

Only if she looks.

Dannan

[panics] Oh, no! What have we done, what have we done?! This is a disaster! A disaster! This is all your fault, Piggley! We're going to get in big, BIG-BIG-BIG-BIG-BIG-BIG TROUBLE!

Dannan

AAH! PIGGLEY! THE PIE!!!

THE PIE!!!

Dannan

Do you really think that's the Salmon of Knowledge, Piggley?

Piggley

Course, it is! [to Ferny] Go ahead. Ask him somethin'. He knows everythin'.

Ferny

Uh... [clears throat] Uh, Mr. Brainy Fish, uh, sir. Do ya... Uh, do ya know what, uh... I had for breakfast this mornin'?

Piggley

There. See? He says "Yes". He knows.

Dannan

I didn't hear anything.

Piggley

One bubble means "yes", and two bubbles means "no".

Dannan

Okay, so what did Ferny have for breakfast today, hmm?

Piggley

Mr. Salmon says he had... [deep breath; quickly] Six eggs, fried spuds, soda bread with marmalade, fruit, kippers, beans, and mushrooms, and porridge with milk, the top of the bottle.

Ferny

Oh... That's absolutely amazing! It really is the Salmon of Knowledge!

Padrig

It's a long time sittin' in a boat, you know. Nowhere to go, nothin' to do.

Piggley

We don't mind. [has Ferny's voice] We love sittin'. With... nothin' to do.

Padrig

It's a lot of responsibility, you know.

Dannan

We love responsibility.

Padrig

I'll be leavin' at the crack of dawn.

Piggley

We loooooove, looove gettin' up early! We'll all spend the night here, so we can leave first thing in the morning.

Ferny

Oh! That's a good idea!

Dannan

Oh, that's a great idea!

Padrig

Now hold on a minute! I didn't say I'd take you!

Piggley

Pleeeaaaase?!

Dannan

Oh, pleeeeaaaase?!

Ferny

Pleeeaaase!

Padrig

We'll see how things go in the morning.

Ferny

[angry] Janey Mack, Piggley, why did you start a pillow fight?!

Piggley

I didn't start it!

Ferny

Did so!

Piggley

Did not!

Ferny

Did so!

Piggley

Did not!

Ferny

Did so!

Piggley

Did not!

Ferny

Did so!

Dannan

[covers the boys' mouths with her hands] STOOOOOOOP!!!

Padrig

[angry] PIGGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!

Piggley

[turns off the lamp] We're asleep!

Molly

What are you all doin'?

Shhh!

Piggley

We're makin' a picnic lunch for dad!

Molly

Why are you doin' that?

Ferny

Ugh... It's for the fishing trip tomorrow!

Molly

Oh...

Dannan

I'll take Molly back to bed. You boys go ahead and make the sandwiches.

Molly

Will you make one for me too, Piggley? Pleeeaaase?

Piggley

Okay, okay. Just be quiet!

Molly

Sweets, too? Pleeeease!

Piggley

Ugh, fine...

Piggley

[to Ferny] Jakers...

Dannan

Oh, well. We can always play "pirates" tomorrow, instead.

Ferny

Pirates will be fun.

Ferny

Are you tellin' me that Mr. Hornsby is going to be comin' right into me very own home?

Dannan

It's unnatural, I tell ya! It shouldn't be allowed! Why, I've never heard of such a thing in all me life!

Ferny

Oh. Well, I thought you really like Mr. Hornsby, Dannan.

Dannan

I do... in the classroom. That's where he belongs, and that's just where he'd ought to stay!

Dannan

Oh. There it is! I'll get it!

Grandpa Piggley

[narrating] Dannan reached out to pluck the little beauty, and...

Grandpa Piggley

[narrating] We flew into the air, and shot right through the stratosphere. Clear out into space we flew! All the way to the surface of the moon! Where we were met by a couple of crazy-looking moon men!

Grandpa!

Grandpa Piggley

Uh, what's the problem, children?

[in disbelief] You flew all the way to space and landed on the moon.

Grandpa Piggley

Well... Maybe we didn't actually fly into space.

Piggley

We brave knights be huntin' for dragons.

Dannan

With fiery breath and spiny backs.

Ferny

We'll trounce them all and fix their wagons...

Or... they will have us all for snacks! [echoing]

Dannan

[pretending to be a monster] Ferny, come out! I want your brain! Must... have... brain! [roars] Give me... BRAIN!!! [roars]

I'm so sorry, monster, but I'm afraid I can't let you have Fernando's brain. You see, he uses it himself sometimes.

Dannan

What's in the bag?

Piggley

I don't think it's potatoes.

Ferny

I wonder what else was in that sack he was draggin' in there.

Dannan

I'll bet there were some brains in it.

Ferny

Oh, you think so?

Piggley

Don't be daft. You don't put brains in a sack.

Dannan

And why not?

Piggley

They'd leak all over the place. You put brains in jars. Besides, Fergal doesn't have any brains yet. That's why he's making friends with Molly. So he can take hers.

Ferny

Janey Mack.