[telling Ferny about the Salmon of Knowledge] A long time ago, in the clear blue waters of Lough Derg, there lived a simple salmon. Hanging over his watery home, there was a very special hazelnut. And inside each and every nut on that tree was all the knowledge in the whole world. One day, one of those nuts fell into the loch. And the salmon gobbled it all up, filling him to the gills with everything there is to know about... well... absolutely everything.
“Salmon of Knowledge” · Season 1, Episode 2
In this episode: Grandpa Piggley Winks (4), Ferny (2), Wiley the Sheep (1), Dannan O'Mallard the Duck (1), Mr. Hornsby (1)
[after hearing Piggley's story of the Salmon] Wow. A fish who knows everything. Think of the brain on that guy. Think of it. A fish with a giant head. And nut-crackin' teeth, big chompers! Hey, if a big-headed fish with teeth can get so smart from one little nut, think of what it can do for us sheep!
[Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan have caught a small fish that they think is the Salmon of Knowledge. They are keeping it in the well on the farmyard.]
Do you really think that's the Salmon of Knowledge, Piggley?
Course, it is! [to Ferny] Go ahead. Ask him somethin'. He knows everythin'.
Uh... [clears throat] Uh, Mr. Brainy Fish, uh, sir. Do ya... Uh, do ya know what, uh... I had for breakfast this mornin'?
[The fish looks up at Ferny, blows one bubble, then swims away from him.]
There. See? He says "Yes". He knows.
I didn't hear anything.
One bubble means "yes", and two bubbles means "no".
Okay, so what did Ferny have for breakfast today, hmm?
Mr. Salmon says he had... [deep breath; quickly] Six eggs, fried spuds, soda bread with marmalade, fruit, kippers, beans, and mushrooms, and porridge with milk, the top of the bottle.
Oh... That's absolutely amazing! It really is the Salmon of Knowledge!
Hey, Ferny. What do you wanna do tomorrow?
Well, I usually study on Sunday. But there's no need for that now, right?
No, sir. Not while we've got Mr. Smart Fish around.
[Ferny's stomach starts growling.]
Janey Mack, I'm really hungry. [realizes something; gasps in horror] Wait! I didn't have breakfast this mornin'!
[unfazed] Huh. So?
The Salmon of Knowledge was wrong! THE SALMON OF KNOWLEDGE WAS WRONG!!! [echoing]
Take your time, and more carefully, you'll have no trouble as long as you've studied.
Or as long as you've got a fish with a brain as big as Mammy's icebox.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.