Mr. Hornsby quotes from Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

Mr. Hornsby

Class, over the next few weeks, I will be visiting each of your families for supper. The first family I will be visiting is... Piggley's.

Mr. Hornsby

Alright, now. Two plus two! Four plus four! The square root of 9! Name the seven wonders of the world. What was William Shakespeare's middle name? You'd better pick up the pace, boys. You remember what happened to your little friend Dannan.

Mr. Hornsby

And Cú Chulainn said to himself, "I am all alone against all those who will follow Queen Maeve. I cannot defeat them, but I must not let them win."

Mr. Hornsby

Take your time, and more carefully, you'll have no trouble as long as you've studied.

Piggley

Or as long as you've got a fish with a brain as big as Mammy's icebox.

Padrig

Well, Hornsby...

Mr. Hornsby

That's Mr. Hornsby!

Elly

[clears her throat] Would you like some--

Mr. Hornsby

Please raise your hand before speakin'.

Mr. Hornsby

Ohhhh, sit up, young man!

Mr. Hornsby

Who is laughin'?!

Mr. Hornsby

[tuts disappointed] Oh... [starts grading the family one by one] "F", "F", "F"... "F".

Mr. Hornsby

[dramatically clearing his throat] Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-em?! That is one more big... fat... "F".

Mr. Hornsby

There once was a student who got in big trouble for something he didn't even do.

Piggley

What didn't he do?

Mr. Hornsby

His homework.

Mr. Hornsby

Now, class... [Meg: Said the teacher.] Your homework, I'm saying...

Dannan

[quietly] Is put all your books down...

Mr. Hornsby

...is put all your books down, go out and start playing?!

Huh?!

Mr. Hornsby

Instead of a test, now, here's what we'll be doing, we'll go out and play 'til the cows all stop mooing?! [gasps and covers his mouth]

Dannan

[laughs]

Mr. Hornsby

In fact, my dear children, forget being smarties! The rest of the day, WE'LL HAVE NOTHING BUT PARTIES!!!