Ferny quotes from Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

Ferny

[singing sadly] Poor old Dannan is no more... The dragon gave a mighty roar... He swallowed Dannan whole today... Our friend Dannan's gone... away...

Ferny

What fun is it being the enemy all day, just 'cause I'm Spanish? Maybe I'd run all the way back to Spain. That'd show 'em.

Ferny

Do you think your mother will notice, Piggley?

Piggley

Only if she looks.

Dannan

[panics] Oh, no! What have we done, what have we done?! This is a disaster! A disaster! This is all your fault, Piggley! We're going to get in big, BIG-BIG-BIG-BIG-BIG-BIG TROUBLE!

Ferny

Oh, your mother's going to be powerful mad!

Piggley

Plan B. Molly, you go keep Mammy busy outside. We're going to clean up! Like Captain Clean of the Clean Brigade on a really clean, cleany day!

Molly

Okay, Piggley! [goes outside to distract Elly] Mammy! You came back!

Elly

Well, yes. I live here, don't you know?

Molly

[hanging on Mammy's arm] Oh! I am so glad you came home! Now you can... uh... you can hear me alphabet!

Elly

Oh, not right now, pet. I have things to-

Molly

A, B, C... Q, R, 1... I am not so nearly done.

Dannan

AAH! PIGGLEY! THE PIE!!!

THE PIE!!!

Dannan

Do you really think that's the Salmon of Knowledge, Piggley?

Piggley

Course, it is! [to Ferny] Go ahead. Ask him somethin'. He knows everythin'.

Ferny

Uh... [clears throat] Uh, Mr. Brainy Fish, uh, sir. Do ya... Uh, do ya know what, uh... I had for breakfast this mornin'?

Piggley

There. See? He says "Yes". He knows.

Dannan

I didn't hear anything.

Piggley

One bubble means "yes", and two bubbles means "no".

Dannan

Okay, so what did Ferny have for breakfast today, hmm?

Piggley

Mr. Salmon says he had... [deep breath; quickly] Six eggs, fried spuds, soda bread with marmalade, fruit, kippers, beans, and mushrooms, and porridge with milk, the top of the bottle.

Ferny

Oh... That's absolutely amazing! It really is the Salmon of Knowledge!

Piggley

Hey, Ferny. What do you wanna do tomorrow?

Ferny

Well, I usually study on Sunday. But there's no need for that now, right?

Piggley

No, sir. Not while we've got Mr. Smart Fish around.

Ferny

Janey Mack, I'm really hungry. [realizes something; gasps in horror] Wait! I didn't have breakfast this mornin'!

Piggley

[unfazed] Huh. So?

Ferny

The Salmon of Knowledge was wrong! THE SALMON OF KNOWLEDGE WAS WRONG!!! [echoing]

Molly

What's so great about fishing?

Padrig

Well, now. On Lake Beghorra, ya never know what you might see. Like the time not too long ago when I was out fishin'. I wasn't catchin' so much as a cold. Then all of a sudden, I hooked the strangest thing. A hat! A red hat!

Padrig

It wasn't too long before a fella came swimmin' by, lookin' for the hat.

Padrig

I gave it back to him, and... he thanked me kindly. Then he disappeared beneath the water.

Ferny

[gasps] Janey Mack!

Piggley

Then what happened, dad?

Padrig

Well, now... The next thing I knew, like a streak of light, me boat was jettin' across the lake, sure I couldn't see what was pullin' me, then suddenly, I came to a stop. I was at a part of the lake I'd never seen before. Lookin' around, I thought I saw that fella with the red hat swimmin' away. Then, a fish tail as big as your side slapped the water! And he was gone.

Piggley

Jakers! A... A merman!

Ferny

Oh... A fishy fello.

Padrig

Well, I can't say for sure, lads. All I know is that very place where me boat stopped... turned out to be the best fishin' spot of all time.

Padrig

It's a long time sittin' in a boat, you know. Nowhere to go, nothin' to do.

Piggley

We don't mind. [has Ferny's voice] We love sittin'. With... nothin' to do.

Padrig

It's a lot of responsibility, you know.

Dannan

We love responsibility.

Padrig

I'll be leavin' at the crack of dawn.

Piggley

We loooooove, looove gettin' up early! We'll all spend the night here, so we can leave first thing in the morning.

Ferny

Oh! That's a good idea!

Dannan

Oh, that's a great idea!

Padrig

Now hold on a minute! I didn't say I'd take you!

Piggley

Pleeeaaaase?!

Dannan

Oh, pleeeeaaaase?!

Ferny

Pleeeaaase!

Padrig

We'll see how things go in the morning.

Ferny

[angry] Janey Mack, Piggley, why did you start a pillow fight?!

Piggley

I didn't start it!

Ferny

Did so!

Piggley

Did not!

Ferny

Did so!

Piggley

Did not!

Ferny

Did so!

Piggley

Did not!

Ferny

Did so!

Dannan

[covers the boys' mouths with her hands] STOOOOOOOP!!!

Padrig

[angry] PIGGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!

Piggley

[turns off the lamp] We're asleep!

Molly

What are you all doin'?

Shhh!

Piggley

We're makin' a picnic lunch for dad!

Molly

Why are you doin' that?

Ferny

Ugh... It's for the fishing trip tomorrow!

Molly

Oh...

Dannan

I'll take Molly back to bed. You boys go ahead and make the sandwiches.

Molly

Will you make one for me too, Piggley? Pleeeaaase?

Piggley

Okay, okay. Just be quiet!

Molly

Sweets, too? Pleeeease!

Piggley

Ugh, fine...

Piggley

[to Ferny] Jakers...

Dannan

Oh, well. We can always play "pirates" tomorrow, instead.

Ferny

Pirates will be fun.

Ferny

Are you tellin' me that Mr. Hornsby is going to be comin' right into me very own home?

Dannan

It's unnatural, I tell ya! It shouldn't be allowed! Why, I've never heard of such a thing in all me life!

Ferny

Oh. Well, I thought you really like Mr. Hornsby, Dannan.

Dannan

I do... in the classroom. That's where he belongs, and that's just where he'd ought to stay!

Piggley

We brave knights be huntin' for dragons.

Dannan

With fiery breath and spiny backs.

Ferny

We'll trounce them all and fix their wagons...

Or... they will have us all for snacks! [echoing]