Jade Clones quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Jade

"Our journey"? Uncle's going underground too? Isn't anyone gonna come see me be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?!

[bursts from the closet] I WOULD LOVE TO! Oh the theatre, the theatre!

Jade

Uh-uh. No way am I showing up at school with him.

I know exactly how you feel.

And so, Dr. Jekyll believed that he could separate the good from the evil in man.

Jade

Nice read, Simone. [playing Dr. Jekyll] With this potion, I will prove my scientific theories to the world! But what if I'm wrong? Heavens! The results could be disastrous!

[from the audience] Come on, Doc! Pick up the pace! Turn into Mr. Hyde, and terrorize the town already!

Jade

You think you could do better?

Don't mind if I do! [leaps up on stage, takes the potion from Jade and drinks it, gagging a bit] This tastes terrible.

Jade

Maybe I shouldn't have brought the Tiger.

Jackie! Did not expect you until tonight!

Jackie

You and I both Uncle. I believe this necklace has magical powers.

Jade

Cool, can I check it out?

Jackie

No Jade. This necklace could be very dangerous.

Jade

Everything is very dangerous! Traveling to Venice, digging for artifacts, wearing jewelry...

[after Jackie dispatches some thugs] That was amazing the way you defeated those men single-handedly!

Jade

[invisible due to the Snake Talisman] Hello? What am I, invisible? ... Oh. Yeah.

Who are you?

Jade

I'm uh, part of your security team. Jackie's partner. Name's Jade.

And you can become invisible? Can all bodyguards do that?

Jade

[revealing the Snake Talisman] Only if they have one of these babies.

Ah, a talisman!

Jade

A magic talisman!

May I see? [Jade hesitates, but gives him the Snake Talisman] How does it work?

Jade

You just squeeze it in your hand. Uh, but I don't think- [King Lili becomes invisible] Yup. Heh. You learn fast, now open your hand and become visible again. [no response] Uh... King? Your majesty? Lili?! I can't believe it! Lili pulled a Jade!

Jackie

[opening the box, revealing a black cat statue] The Cat of Khartoum.

Jade

That's it? Looks like something you'd buy at a swap-meet for a buck.

Valmont

[appearing from around a corner] Worth quite a bit more, young lady.

Jackie

Valmont!

Valmont

Thanks ever so for finding the Cat for me, Chan. Now hand it over!

Jackie

No! It belongs to the museum!

Jade

Hey, maybe you haven't heard, but possession is nine tenths of the law!

[taking out some nunchucks] Yeah? And this here's the other two tenths!

Jackie

You need to work on your math!

Yeah? My math's good enough to know that three against one ain't very good odds.

Valmont

Spare me the gladiator scene. Just get the merchandise!

Jackie

The cargo ship was not a secure enough transport. The museum decided that with the thieves still at large, the Golden Dragon will instead travel to Hong Kong on the last place anyone would think to look; a cruise ship. I will accompany it.

Jade

Tch. You lucked out.

Jackie

Yes. The only problem is that the museum has given me a two room suite. I do not know what to do with all the extra space.

Jade

I'm going on a cruise! Yes!

Jackie

Heh heh, all of us are going. Uncle, Tohru...

Pah! Uncle does not cruise. Uncle does inventory!

Jackie

Uncle, when was the last time you took a real vacation?

Let me see. Three, four, carry the one, never! So why start now?

I will stay here.

Jade

Tohru? Hello?! Swimming pools? Whale watching? All the shrimp you can eat? [Tohru glares at her] Okay, strike that. All the pizza you can eat?

I... cannot travel on a ship.

Jade

Tch. Knew I shouldn't have taken you to see Titanic. That was just a movie, Tohru.

[rolling out a mattress] Uncle is too old for this!

Jade

[rolling out a mattress] Tch. I'm too old for this!

Jackie

[rolling out a mattress] Let's just try to make the best of- [mattresses are pulled out from under them] Oof!

Jade

Hey!

Huh?!

When the Chosen One sleeps well, everyone is rested!

Jade

Pillow fight! Whoa!

You are too young to watch battle with the forces of darkness!

Jade

Aw...

Jade! [pulls her in and slams the door] You are still too young.

Jade

Aw!

Jade

The Chosen One is a cleanser of souls, not a washer of dishes.

[sigh] But I do not want to be the Chosen One.

Jade

Tch. Why not? You have your own personal champion, and servants who wade on you, hand and foot.

I am not accustomed to such treatment, Jade. I enjoy serving people, especially those I like.

Jade

Well, maybe washing dishes isn't the only way to help. Did you see how happy you made those villagers? The Chosen One serves too, in a different kind of way.

Perhaps you are right.

Jade

[grabs plate] Good, 'cause you missed a spot. You are so fired!

Jade

Jackie! [leaps on him]

Jackie

Hello.

Jade

[gasp; takes Greenbeard's Gloves] Are these from Greenbeard's ship? Can I keep 'em, please? I've been reading all about Greenbeard!

Jackie

You've been reading? For pleasure?

Jade

Tch. Not like there's anything else to do around here! [picks up nearby book] "The meanest pirate of them all! Greenbeard swore he would keep stealing forever, even after he died. Argh!" How cool was he?

Jackie

There is nothing "cool" about stealing, Jade.

Jade

Aw...

Crime does not pay. If Captain Black had not pulled strings after I left the Dark Hand, I would be in prison right now.

Instead, he lives under the supervision of his parole officer! [reveals Mahjong hand] So Tohru is free to lose as many games of Mahjong as he likes!

[inspecting a vase] Is this late Yuan Dynasty or early Ming?

Uh... It is from China. [Customer leaves the shop]

[scoffs] You are a terrible salesman! You must know the merchandise.

Jade

Uncle's right, Tohru. For example, this lovely lamp is from the junk dyansty.

Jackie

You are not helping, Jade.