Dib quotes from Invader Zim

Dib

Why did you choose me?

You're the worthiest, Dib. And no one else had a head large enough to accommodate such power.

Dib... whatever your last name is.

Dib

That's right.

Dib

I was...

GIR

INTRUDER!

GIR

Lalalalala

Dib

Excuse me, but, can you put this spy camera in ZIM's house so I can... spy on his evil and stuff?

GIR

Okey dokey!

Dib

I shoulda tried this a long time ago.

Personality transfer complete. Rebuilding- Hey! Who are you?

Dib

I'm Dib.

No, you're not. I'm Dib. I feel funny. What's happened to me?

Dib

I know. The philosophical implications are quite…philosophical.

But I remember everything. [emerging a screen monitor] I remember being a baby, my first ghost-baby sighting, my first baby-alien encounter, riding an alien elephant baby at Dad's genetic mutation fair.

Dib

Your memories are really of me doing all of those things! You have a copy of my magnificent brain inside you!

Dib

How did you get out here? Wait… You shut my alarm off, didn't you?!

I'm sorry, Dib. I tricked you and escaped. I thought I was the real Dib, but, I was confused. Would you like to get inside and I can take you to school… pal?

Zim

Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!

Dib

O...kay, there's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

Zim

NOW PREPARE YOURSELF DIB, AS I BRING OUR ROYAL AUDIENCE TO THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND!!!!

Dib

[hiding on shelf with rake} but I don't wanna watch that....

Zim

Oh, okay then... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!!!

Zim

Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?

Dib

Yes it is, Zim. It fell from the...

Zim

Isn't it!?

Dib

I SAID IT WAS! Man, you have a problem with listening, Zim.

Zim

ISN'T IT!?!?

Security defense systems activated! Intruder detected. Get your filthy alien meat out of the cockpit.

Dib

What the…?! Tak?!

Almost. I'm Tak's downloaded personality interface and it seems you've stolen me.

Dib

[yells as he is tossed out of the ship] No! The Massive's almost here! You gotta let me in!

Dib

Zim!

Zim

What?!?

Dib

Zim!

Zim

What?!?

Dib

Zim!

Zim

What?!?

Dib

[screaming] You won't get away with it!!

Zim

[struggling to hear Dib] ...that's very nice of you.

Dib

No! Your plan, I'm going to stop you! I got a secret weapon!

Zim

Where is it?

Dib

Around...

Zim

Can it protect you from ... T-T-T-T-THIS?! [GIR opens up the top of his puppy suit]

GIR

SAMMICH! [his head opens and a sandwich flies out, hitting Dib and knocking him against the wall]

GIR

I had a sammich in my head!

Dib

Laugh now, space monster! But my weapon is so powerful, it... buys rubber pants!

[finishing his soda] Ah, Refreshing! Mortos grant wish now! [to Dib] What you want again? Hello?

Wee-hoo! I wish I had me some ice cream!

Your wish is granted!

Well whaddya know? [takes a lick] Ew, raisin.

Dib

Noooo!

Mortos so weak... I need to go return now...

Dib

Nooo! Mortos, you still owe me!

Maybe next time you not be so cheap with Mortos. See you in a thousand years!

Dib

Zim! I don't know what your plan is, but I'm going to stop you!

Zim

I am infecting the city with genetically mutated vermin, but you'll never know!

Dib

You just told me.

Zim

... YOU'RE LYING!!!!

Zim

Hey look, they're gonna start making artificial beavers.

Dib

He's after our beaver technology! Is this his next evil plan?

Zim

Well, time to work on my next evil plan...

Dib

Talk about perfect timing!

Thanks for calling the FBI, my name is Greg, how may I help you?

Dib

I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-

[laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?

Dib

Yes, no thanks to you!