“Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars” quotes from Invader Zim

Zim

My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest! My Tallest! My-- M-m-my Tallest! My Ta-a-alli-i-ist! Hey! Hey! Hey, over here, my Tallest! My Tallest? My Talleeeeeest! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! My Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Ta-a-a-alleeeest! My Talleeeeeest! My Tallest? Hey! My TALLEEEEEEST! MY TALLEEEEEEEEEST!!! MY TALLEEEEEEEEEST!!! MY TALLEEEEEEEEEST!!! MY TA-A-A-A-A-ALLE-E-E-E-E-EST!!! Hey! Hey! My Tallest? Uh, hey! My Tall--? HEY, MY TALLEST! IT'S ME! LOOK AT ME! MY TALLEST? MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST?

... I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own. But it's been three hours now, Zim! THREE HOURS!!! So... what is it?

Zim

I just noticed that you're travelling closer to the Earth than EVER before!

Tallest Purple

How do you know that?

Zim

Oh, I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...

Tallest Purple

Hey! That is creepy! You're creepy, Zim.

Zim

[chuckles] Yes, I sure am.

Zim

The Tallest fail to realize that I'm inviting them for front row seats for the end of all mankind. My latest plan-

The latest plan is about to explode.

Zim

GIR!

GIR

It's ME! I was the turkey all along!

Zim

I was wondering what that turkey was doing there. GIR! I'm delaying the brain parasite plan for now. I want you to-

GIR

I was the turkey! Me!

Zim

Yes...so you were...

Zim

Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!

Dib

O...kay, there's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

That's The Massive out there. My people designed most of that thing, so I know how powerful it is... We're gonna die!! Whose idea was this?!?

Uh, mine. Sorry about that...

Identify yourself.

[disguised deep voice] We are the Resisty! And we have come to-

Tallest Purple

Whoa, whoa whoa. Did you say the Resisty?

Yes the Resisty! And we have come to-

Tallest Purple

That's a stupid name.

[regular voice] See! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to yours?

I don't know.

Zim

NOW PREPARE YOURSELF DIB, AS I BRING OUR ROYAL AUDIENCE TO THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND!!!!

Dib

[hiding on shelf with rake} but I don't wanna watch that....

Zim

Oh, okay then... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!!!

Zim

My Tallest! My Tallest, hey, my Talleeeeest! My Tallest! My, my, my my Tallest! My Taaaaallest! Hey! Hey! Hey over here, my Tallest! My Tallest? My TallEST! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My TaaaaaallEST! My Tallest. My TALLest! Hey! MAH TALLEEEEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! My TaaAAALLest! Hey! Hey! My Tallest? Uh, hi! My Tall! Hey my Tallest! It's me! Look at me! My Tallest? My Tallest! My Tallest?

I was curious to see when you would shut up on your own. But it's been THREE hours now, Zim! THREE HOURS! So... what is it?

Zim

I just noticed that you're traveling closer to the Earth than EVER before!

Tallest Purple

How do you know that?

Zim

Oh, I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...

Tallest Purple

Hey! That is creepy. You're creepy, Zim.

Zim

Heh heh. Yes, I sure am. Anyhow, since you're so nearby, you can see me initiate my newest, most DIABOLICAL PLAN TO DESTROY THE HUMANS! I made sandwiches!

Uh, look, Zim, err... maybe we'll stop by on our way back from... wherever we're going.

Zim

But--

Sorry, Zim! Uh, we're being... attacked! [pushes Almighty Tallest Purple] By an enemy vessel! Ooh! Oohh! Gotta go! Gotta go! [signals one of the crew mates to cut the transmission. The transmission with Zim is cut and Almighty Tallest Purple gets back up.] "Enemy vessel" - ha! As though anyone would dare go up against the Massive.

Tallest Purple

Yeah, that is pretty funny. [pointing aside] HEY, SOMEONE'S MAKING DONUTS! [he and Tallest Red both cheer]

Tallest Purple

That's a Vort ship! I didn't think there were any of those left! Call them and tell them we're gonna blow 'em up! Hah!

They're hailing us! They're hailing us! Oh, quick! We need a name! We can't form a resistance and not have a name!

How 'bout the pirate monkeys! It's a awesome name.

Hmmm... No. We need something scary! Something to strike fear into all who hear of the resistance!

I got it! I got it!

Identify yourselves.

[disguised deep voice] We are the Resisty! And we have come to-

Tallest Purple

Whoa, whoa whoa. Did you say the Resisty?

Yes, yes the Resisty! Anyhow, we have come to-

Tallest Purple

That's a stupid name.

[regular voice] See! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to yours?

I don't know.

Zim

Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?

Dib

Yes it is, Zim. It fell from the...

Zim

Isn't it!?

Dib

I SAID IT WAS! Man, you have a problem with listening, Zim.

Zim

ISN'T IT!?!?

RoboDad

That's bad manners, son! I guess we haven't taught you well enough! We don't spend enough quality time together. [hugs Zim's head; grunts] TIME TO LEARN YOU A LESSON! [grabs Zim by the head and lifts him up, striking a pose]

Awww... I'm gonna get the camera!

RoboDad

[breaking the door open and sticks his head through] Come on, son! Let's go PLAY in the TOILET!

Security defense systems activated! Intruder detected. Get your filthy alien meat out of the cockpit.

Dib

What the…?! Tak?!

Almost. I'm Tak's downloaded personality interface and it seems you've stolen me.

Dib

[yells as he is tossed out of the ship] No! The Massive's almost here! You gotta let me in!