GIR! Another mutant biting thing!
Yes, my vermin lord!
[Dib and Zim are on opposite sides of the road]
Zim!
What?!?
Zim!
What?!?
Zim!
What?!?
[screaming] You won't get away with it!!
[struggling to hear Dib] ...that's very nice of you.
No! Your plan, I'm going to stop you! I got a secret weapon!
Where is it?
Around...
Can it protect you from ... T-T-T-T-THIS?! [GIR opens up the top of his puppy suit]
SAMMICH! [his head opens and a sandwich flies out, hitting Dib and knocking him against the wall]
[Zim laughs maniacally as the two begin to walk off]
I had a sammich in my head!
Laugh now, space monster! But my weapon is so powerful, it... buys rubber pants!
[finishing his soda] Ah, Refreshing! Mortos grant wish now! [to Dib] What you want again? Hello?
[Dib, busily wrestling Zim, doesn't hear Mortos. Da' Cone walks by Mortos]
DCDa' Cone
Wee-hoo! I wish I had me some ice cream!
Your wish is granted!
[Mortos summons a demon ice cream man that hands the pedestrian an ice cream cone]
DCDa' Cone
Well whaddya know? [takes a lick] Ew, raisin.
[He throws the ice cream to the ground]
Noooo!
Mortos so weak... I need to go return now...
Nooo! Mortos, you still owe me!
Maybe next time you not be so cheap with Mortos. See you in a thousand years!
PUPPY!! [licks the window]
No, GIR! You can eat later! [pulls GIR away from the window]
Zim! I don't know what your plan is, but I'm going to stop you!
I am infecting the city with genetically mutated vermin, but you'll never know!
You just told me.
... YOU'RE LYING!!!!
[While Dib watches the scene using a spy camera installed into Zim's house]
Guess who made waffles!
I'm not going to eat-
[screams]
Enough! I shall try some already! [takes a bite] Well, they don't seem to be making me sick. You know, I think this will be a good way to build a tolerance to the human's filthy food! Okay, GIR. I will try-
Hehehehehehe! [runs to get more waffles]
And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!
[Zim is reading a newspaper while he is being watched by Dib]
Hey look, they're gonna start making artificial beavers.
He's after our beaver technology! Is this his next evil plan?
Well, time to work on my next evil plan...
Talk about perfect timing!
GGreg
Thanks for calling the FBI, my name is Greg, how may I help you?
I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-
GGreg
[laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?
Yes, no thanks to you!
Hey, do you know who came by today?
Hm?
That ugly neighbor lady. She was wearing this horrible...
[An evil looking squid pokes his head into the kitchen. Zim looks and it quickly leaves]
Huh?
[The squid leaps onto Zim's head and thrashes him about]
Oh mighty dung! The giant flesh-eating demon squid has escaped!
Hey. These aren't bad. What's in 'em?
There's waffle in 'em!
[screaming] YOU'RE LYING!!!!!
Gir, your waffles have sickened me! Fetch me the bucket!
*Squeals*
NOOOOO! The plan! *shakes computer* WHAT WAS THE PLAN?!
*Makes retching sound as Dib looks sick*
Um, ancient traveler? Are you Mortos Der Soulstealer?
Huh? YES! I AM MORTOS DER SOULSTEALER! Every thousand years when Ta'un aligns with Chakunga, I escape from the place beneath the Overworld to walk among mortals for one day. Important plot point this is. Men hide behind furniture. Women spit loogies of terror. Animals void their bowels at the sight OF MORTOS DER SOULSTEALSER! [laughs maniacally until he starts coughing.]
[wipes away drool that landed on him] Okay, great!
Hold it! [takes out pamphlet] According to the ancient pamphlet, you must grant at least one mortal a wish before you can return to the spooky realm.
[snatches up pamphlet] Pamphlet stupid! [drops pamphlet on the ground, then stomps on it with his foot, then starts pounding it with his fist.] Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! [Stops pounding and then gets up again] Okay, but power's very weak from thousand year in place beneath the Overworld.
Well, how do we fix that?
[scene cuts to them later at a MacMeatey's]
Two quarter porkeys with cheese, one McGrease, no cheese, Meaty McMeatMeatMeat with cheese, and an Appely Pie with meat. [The food is served to Mortos, then Mortos scarfs it down.]
Mortos, is this really how you recharge your unearthly powers?
YES! SINCE BEFORE TIME BEGAAAAAAAAANNNNN! [Cashier starts gesturing, asking for money.] Mortos not carry cash.
Oh. [reaches into his pocket] Okay.
You ditched me!
Yes. Mortos ditch you. And Mortos sorry. But many years ago, Mortos trust little boy like you. Little boy named Floochie. Who sang songs to Mortos. That little boy break Mortos' heart... Now, dark energy of universe Mortos' only friend...
I'm sorry.
And Darlene here...
DDarlene
Hi!
Guh! I can't believe I almost bought that sob story! Mortos, you're no mighty master of spooky powers like the pamphlet said! You're just a... a big mooch!
You call Mortos mooch?
Yes, a mooch!
MOOCH!
That's right!
Mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch, MOOCH! You want see power? I show you power!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.