Dib quotes from Invader Zim

Dib

Oh yeah!! Thanks, Gaz! Don't wanna starve to death while saving the world!

Gaz

Let it be known that from this day until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine! Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace for I shall rain misery down upon your pizza-stealing heart!

Dib

How am I supposed to know what Dad's first sentient thought was?

Gaz

It was "I will poop now." It's all here in his autobiography.

That's not it! It's–

94%. Your score is...unacceptable!

94.1%. Your score is...acceptable! Congratulations!

Dib

Okay, that was annoying. But at least it was easy.

Zim

I laugh at your pitiful attempt at spying! Here I go. [laughs]

Dib

Go on! Laugh! But one day, you'll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and then you'll look over and I'll be there, doin' stuff!

Zim

Stuff?!? In my home?!? Never! You'd have to find some kind of flaw in my security net! Since that could never possibly happen, you'll have to do your "stuff" elsewhere! [pauses] You haven't discovered some kind of a flaw, have you?

Dib

Let's just say your home defenses could use some tightening...

Dib

You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes!

Zim

Oh, you'll open them. You have to breathe sometime.

Dib

No, I– wait, what do my eyes have to do with breathing?

Dib

[hypnotized] I will tell Pustulio everything...[snaps out of it] Nyahh! No! Must... keep... control! [gets hypnotized again] Pustulio is my friend... [snaps out of it again] It's a pimple! Nothing more than a-! Nyahh! I... I... [gets hypnotized yet again] I... love Pustulio...

Zim

And Pustulio loves you, too. Release him, Smacky. He is part of the collective now.

Zim

Now. Tell me... tell me the flaw in my house's defenses.

Dib

[struggles internally] But... I can't... must infiltrate!

Zim

It would make Pustulio happy to know this thing. Don't you WANT-[pushes Pustulio around to increase hypnotic power]-to make Pustulio happy?

Dib

Yes... no!

Zim

[raises eyebrow] If you tell me, I'll let you hold Pustulio's little hand. [holds up one of Pustulio's hands for Dib to see]

Dib

[talking against will] The weakness... is simple... a blind spot... [cringes] in your gnome field. Nothing to stop me from simply tunneling under house... [cringes again] and attach a spy monitoring system.

Zim

Success!

Dib

Can't I use that sponge?

Ms. Bitters

No.

Ms. Bitters

Yes, Dib?

Dib

Ms. Bitters, Zim's trip to the bathroom has taken a really long time.

Ms. Bitters

I seem to remember you taking an awful long time to go to the bathroom as well, Dib.

Dib

[pathetically] But that was "Corn and Mayonnaise" day!

Ms. Bitters

[harshly] Oh, that's no excuse!!!

Zim

My business... is done!

Dib

Who takes three hours to go to the bathroom before lunch, Zim?

Zim

Nonsense! I had much to do. So much!

Zim

But I chose this particular worm hole especially for the occasion. You see, at the end of this wormhole lies: A ROOM with a MOOSE!!

Dib

AAAAAHHHH- Wait a minute! Did you say, a room with a moose?

Zim

Yes. Your fear is overwhelming, no?

Dib

Um...no. What's so scary about a room with a stupid moose? I mean, yeah, that's a big moose, but really-

Zim

Oh, you'll see. PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!

Dib

Nuh-uh!

Dib

Are those walnuts?

Zim

Yes.

GIR

My walnuts!

Dib

Anything you'd like to confess?

Zim

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Ms. Bitters

Yes, Dib?

Dib

Ms. Bitters, Zim's trip to the restroom has lasted a real long time.

Ms. Bitters

I recall you spending quite a long time in there recently, as well.

Dib

[pathetically] That was "Corn and Mayonnaise" day!

Ms. Bitters

[harshly] Oh, that's no excuse.

Dib

He's up to something. I just know it. Ms. Bitters growls

Dib

And once I get in there I'm...man, am I gonna do something.

Gaz

I'm trying to draw a little piggy. Can't you see I'm trying to draw a little piggy?!?

Dib

Don't you care that Zim is trying to destroy all mankind? Huh?

Gaz

But he's so bad at it.

Zim

That's it, Dib. Laugh now, yes. Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil...MEATS OF EVIL! But know that vengeance shall be mine. Oh, how it will be mine!

Dib

This is your vengeance, Zim? A tack? That's pathetic, even for you.