Invader Zim · Season 1, Episode 11
That's it, Dib. Laugh now, yes. Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil...MEATS OF EVIL! But know that vengeance shall be mine. Oh, how it will be mine!
[Dib sits on a tack that Zim put in his chair]
This is your vengeance, Zim? A tack? That's pathetic, even for you.
Gaz, taste me! I'm delicious!
[Gaz slowly walks backwards, then sprints away]
Joke's on you, Zim! Now you have to find a cure for the bologna thing.
Fool! You think I would share the cure with you?!? I'll find a cure and keep it all to myself, and then watch you transform more and more into what you really are deep down in your heart.
Deep down I'm bologna?
...Yes.
That's just dumb.
Dumb like a moose, Dib, dumb like a moose!
Now what, Zim? What's your next plan?
[Dogs with foaming mouths appear and snarl hungrily at them]
[Zim looks at the dogs then back at Dib]
lets run away screaming!
Class, today's horrible lesson is about something horrible. Open your horrible textbooks to page 2038.
Are you still playing with your old obsolete Game Slave 1? Why? What's wrong with you? Have we offended you somehow?! Huh? Huh? Huuuh?!
That Game Slave is rightfully mine. I'll buy it from you, but there's no way you're keeping it. Not without invoking my wrath anyhow.
You know, you need help.
[Shows a picture of Iggins brushing his teeth, and playing his Game Slave, then looks up and sees 'The Game Is Mine' written in steam on the mirror above the sink]
'The Gam-e Is Mine..' [Gasps then turns around and gasps as Gaz Appears outside the window with a flash of lightning] Ahh- Wait, how did you write that if you're out.. Huh?
[Gaz appears from different sides of the window with each lightning flashes while Iggins screams}
I need those! Save point, so close!
What you need is to give the Game Slave to me, or I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no waking.
But... I'm a better gamer than you..
I hope you like nightmare worlds!
A Colony of horrible Rat People! Hey, do you know the way outta here?
There is no way out, we all got lost here too! And we've been here ever since!
[Other Rat People Chime in] Ever Since! There's no way out!
Oh come on, getting lost in a parking garage did not turn you all into horrible Rat People
I was once, a maaaan!
But.... You're a woman!
You'll be just like us soon!
I don't think so, I think I see the Exit over there, see ya!
The school has lost its funding for textbooks. In their place, you'll get wildlife survival manuals. Today, you will all be quizzed on how to skin a moose. [Starts sniffing the air. Ms. Bitters gets onto her desk. She then walks through the classroom, sniffing the air and grunting]
Ms. Bitters, I think there's a skinned moose somewhere in the class! [falls out of his desk, smoke rising from his body.]
Dib? [slithers over to Dib] You stink! Go to the bathroom and roll around in the toilet until you smell better!
But I'll smell like the toilet.
Exactly.
But, Willy was the last one to use it. [he points to Willy and distorted music plays]
Now! [Dib obeys]
Oh, yeah. Dib? Uh, my vengeance is now complete.
[Dib is in the bathroom washing his hands and then licks his arm]
Nope. Still delicious. No one should be this delicious! What's going on?! [sticks his hands in his coat pockets and feels a painful poke] AAH! [the tack falls off from his coat; picks it up and examines it, revealing it to be an alien device] Zim! [later sets up his computer in one of the stalls, hooks up a device to the laptop and sticks the tack into it, then presses a button on top of the device] Computer, analyze. Run a chemical check. Is there any unusual foreign substance on the tack?
Analysis done. Unknown substance detected.
Then my skin sample. Does it contain the same substance?
Yes. Substance detected in Dib cells.
So, a foreign DNA sequence! And Zim got it inside me by making me sit on that tack! Computer, where did this DNA originate from?
Analyzing…
[The screen shows an images of a DNA, a cell, zoomed out to show a group of cells, and afterwards zooms out, showing a boy eating a bologna sandwich with bologna sausages in the background]
Bologna! Zim has introduced bologna DNA into my body?! Computer, have I absorbed the bologna?
No. Subject Dib has been fused with subject Bologna.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Zim enters his house and his lab, watching a screen of the bologna DNA reaction accelerating faster inside him after getting pricked by the same tack he used on Dib yesterday]
[horrified] No! The reaction is much quicker inside of me! It's worse than I imagined! Computer, quickly engineer a serum to reverse the effects of the mutagen!
Command voice not recognized. Intruder present.
Intruder?! I am Zim! Run a scan to verify that I am Zim!
Bio scan verification complete. Intruder is Bologna. [screen monitor shows an image of a bologna as Zim stares in horror]
[holding up a liquid beaker, now bloated and sausage-shaped] Finally! I think we've done it!
[snatches the beaker from Zim and chugs it down, then becomes bloated and sausage-shaped like Zim; enraged] Oh, you rotten alien monster!
This inferior equipment. Irken babies play with more advanced toys.
Hey, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for your stupid evil! This is all your fault! [chases after Zim, run-wobbling down the hallway; pushes him into a tube but ends up falling as well and they fall out of the tube, sending them outside the house; holding Zim down] Now what, Zim? What's your next plan?
[looks around, seeing all the dogs surrounding them, and thinks they have no choice] Let's run, screaming.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
