Zim quotes from Invader Zim

Zim

Peepi! Peepi!! The weenie tempts you!

..Now we're being attacked by giant weenies.

Zim

Hurry, GIR! The mission's been compromised! I think we've been seen out of our disguises...by a human!

GIR

But Dib's seen us before...and he knows where we live!

Zim

Heh heh, Dib. No, this is different. This is serious...

GIR

[screams] [walks over to TV, turns on the Angry Monkey Show, and sits down to watch]

Zim

GIR!!

GIR

Oh, yeah... [screams again]

GIR

Awww! He's cute! And sticky looking!

Zim

Cute?!? This is a serious threat to our mission!

GIR

He's just a baby! [gets in front of the window] HI BABY! [Zim tackles GIR]

Zim

I am the neighborhood baby inspector. I have come to inspect the baby.

Oh, goodness! Inspect him for what?

Zim

Your resistance will be noted!

Zim

Noogums! I should have known.

Do not call me by that name! It is demeaning to the proud and fierce race of the Nar-Gh'ok to be dubbed "Noogums."

Zim

What should I call you then?!?

Schnooky! Gh'ok Space Sergent Schnooky!

Zim

You can't escape by teleporter, little Gaz. I cut the power! Your pitiful attempt to escape is nothing but a pitiful failure! Stupid, stinking humans!

Gaz

Doesn't this spaceship have any escape pods?

Zim

Of course; they're right over there. (shaking head)Stupid, stinking humans... huh?

Zim

That's it, Dib. Laugh now, yes. Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil...MEATS OF EVIL! But know that vengeance shall be mine. Oh, how it will be mine!

Dib

This is your vengeance, Zim? A tack? That's pathetic, even for you.

Dib

Joke's on you, Zim! Now you have to find a cure for the bologna thing.

Zim

Fool! You think I would share the cure with you?!? I'll find a cure and keep it all to myself, and then watch you transform more and more into what you really are deep down in your heart.

Dib

Deep down I'm bologna?

Zim

...Yes.

Dib

That's just dumb.

Zim

Dumb like a moose, Dib, dumb like a moose!

Dib

Now what, Zim? What's your next plan?

Zim

lets run away screaming!

The school has lost its funding for textbooks. In their place, you'll get wildlife survival manuals. Today, you will all be quizzed on how to skin a moose. [Starts sniffing the air. Ms. Bitters gets onto her desk. She then walks through the classroom, sniffing the air and grunting]

Ms. Bitters, I think there's a skinned moose somewhere in the class! [falls out of his desk, smoke rising from his body.]

Dib? [slithers over to Dib] You stink! Go to the bathroom and roll around in the toilet until you smell better!

Dib

But I'll smell like the toilet.

Exactly.

Dib

But, Willy was the last one to use it. [he points to Willy and distorted music plays]

Now! [Dib obeys]

Zim

Oh, yeah. Dib? Uh, my vengeance is now complete.

Zim

[horrified] No! The reaction is much quicker inside of me! It's worse than I imagined! Computer, quickly engineer a serum to reverse the effects of the mutagen!

Command voice not recognized. Intruder present.

Zim

Intruder?! I am Zim! Run a scan to verify that I am Zim!

Bio scan verification complete. Intruder is Bologna. [screen monitor shows an image of a bologna as Zim stares in horror]

Zim

[holding up a liquid beaker, now bloated and sausage-shaped] Finally! I think we've done it!

Dib

[snatches the beaker from Zim and chugs it down, then becomes bloated and sausage-shaped like Zim; enraged] Oh, you rotten alien monster!

Zim

This inferior equipment. Irken babies play with more advanced toys.

Dib

Hey, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for your stupid evil! This is all your fault! [chases after Zim, run-wobbling down the hallway; pushes him into a tube but ends up falling as well and they fall out of the tube, sending them outside the house; holding Zim down] Now what, Zim? What's your next plan?

Zim

[looks around, seeing all the dogs surrounding them, and thinks they have no choice] Let's run, screaming.

Zim

Where are we?

Dib

Some kind of alternate universe. It's based on my imagination somehow.

Zim

And you brought me here?!? You sickening, troublesome human!

Dib

Hey! The only way out is through my head! Anything happens to me and you're stuck here forever!

Zim

Curse yoooouuuu! Wait- I can still do stuff to your legs, right?

Dib

I guess, but- wait! No!

Zim

Gah! Curse yoooouuuu!

Zim

There! That should be wide enough.

Dib

What about me? How do I get back?

Zim

Good question! ...But I don't care!

Dib

MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!!!

Zim

I... didn't... say anything about your head.