Zim quotes from Invader Zim

Zim

I laugh at your pitiful attempt at spying! Here I go. [laughs]

Dib

Go on! Laugh! But one day, you'll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and then you'll look over and I'll be there, doin' stuff!

Zim

Stuff?!? In my home?!? Never! You'd have to find some kind of flaw in my security net! Since that could never possibly happen, you'll have to do your "stuff" elsewhere! [pauses] You haven't discovered some kind of a flaw, have you?

Dib

Let's just say your home defenses could use some tightening...

Zim

Nothing breaches my defenses, nothing! You hear me, squirrel-boy? Nothing! [A Bloaty's Pizza delivery guy comes to the door and GIR answers] Hey! Hey!

Here's the pizza you ordered!

GIR

Thank you.... [starts crying] I-I love you!

Zim

GIR! We fend humans away from our home, not invite them over!

GIR

[leaves] I had a coupon!

Zim

Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP?!

GIR

[screaming] I made it myself!!!

Dib

You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes!

Zim

Oh, you'll open them. You have to breathe sometime.

Dib

No, I– wait, what do my eyes have to do with breathing?

Dib

[hypnotized] I will tell Pustulio everything...[snaps out of it] Nyahh! No! Must... keep... control! [gets hypnotized again] Pustulio is my friend... [snaps out of it again] It's a pimple! Nothing more than a-! Nyahh! I... I... [gets hypnotized yet again] I... love Pustulio...

Zim

And Pustulio loves you, too. Release him, Smacky. He is part of the collective now.

Zim

Now. Tell me... tell me the flaw in my house's defenses.

Dib

[struggles internally] But... I can't... must infiltrate!

Zim

It would make Pustulio happy to know this thing. Don't you WANT-[pushes Pustulio around to increase hypnotic power]-to make Pustulio happy?

Dib

Yes... no!

Zim

[raises eyebrow] If you tell me, I'll let you hold Pustulio's little hand. [holds up one of Pustulio's hands for Dib to see]

Dib

[talking against will] The weakness... is simple... a blind spot... [cringes] in your gnome field. Nothing to stop me from simply tunneling under house... [cringes again] and attach a spy monitoring system.

Zim

Success!

Zim

I don't think you understand how serious this is! Tacos are not worth ruining the mission. I am your master, and you will obey me! Obey me! (Zim kneels on the ground as if he was begging) ...Pleeeeeaaassse?

GIR

Maybe you're right... we can get a giant burrito too!

Zim

GIR.

GIR

Yes, master?

Zim

GIR, I have your tacos.

GIR

...GIMME!!!!

Zim

No, GIR.

GIR

But I need tacos! I need them or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes...

Zim

Behold! A hunter destroyer-

GIR

What is it?

Zim

A hunter destroy-

GIR

What is it?!?

Zim

...A hunter destroyer machine.

Zim

There were some glitches in the security system, but thanks to my masterful repair skills, they've all been eradicated. The fortress is now impenetrable, absolutely…

Almighty Tallest Purple

Um, who's that little person behind you?

Zim

What the…

There you are! What did I tell you about wandering off like that? Come on!

I missed you, mommy!

Almighty Tallest Purple

I'm glad it had a happy ending after all.

Me, too.

Zim

Ah, I'll call you back later.

Zim

My business... is done!

Dib

Who takes three hours to go to the bathroom before lunch, Zim?

Zim

Nonsense! I had much to do. So much!

Ms. Bitters

Now open up your textbook and begin memorizing the copyright information. You will be quizzed on this.

Zim

Ms. Bitters, I have a [yells] MIGHTY NEED... to use the restroom once again.

Ms. Bitters

Okay, but that's your last bathroom break for the rest of the school year.

Zim

I will leave you to your...

GIR

[whispering to Zim] Moosey fate!

Zim

Eh...

GIR

[whispering] Say moosey fate!

Zim

...Your moosey fate.

Zim

But I chose this particular worm hole especially for the occasion. You see, at the end of this wormhole lies: A ROOM with a MOOSE!!

Dib

AAAAAHHHH- Wait a minute! Did you say, a room with a moose?

Zim

Yes. Your fear is overwhelming, no?

Dib

Um...no. What's so scary about a room with a stupid moose? I mean, yeah, that's a big moose, but really-

Zim

Oh, you'll see. PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!

Dib

Nuh-uh!

Dib

Are those walnuts?

Zim

Yes.

GIR

My walnuts!

Dib

Anything you'd like to confess?

Zim

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Zim

(to GIR) Wadda ya watching?

GIR

Angry Monkey.

Zim

THAT... horrible monkey!

GIR

Mm-Hm! Where's Ultra Peepi?

Zim

He's working.