Spencer Shay quotes from iCarly

Spencer

So how was school today?

Carly

Bad. Everyone, even teachers are calling me a coword for backing out of the fight.

Spencer

Aw. One sec. (to Socko, on his phone) Hey, Socko! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUDDY BUDDY BUDDY!(to Carly) Socko and I always do that on each other's birthday.

Carly

You do it twice?

Spencer

No. So how was school today?

Carly

Still bad...? About your allergy medication?

Spencer

Uh-huh?

Carly

Wasn't one of the possible side effects short term memory loss?

Spencer

Yeah. So how was school today? (Carly stares blank)

Carly

I've gotta fix this.

Freddie

How?

Carly

I'm gonna fight Shelby.

Freddie

You can't! You pushed her grandmother! She's gonna destory you.

Carly

Maybe not if I talk to her.

Spencer

So how was school today?

Carly

IT BLEW UP, OKAY!?

Spencer

Come here, we need to talk.

Carly

(sits down) What about?

Spencer

Well... Okay. You're going to a dance tonight. You know... with a new guy.

Carly

Mmm-hmmm.

Spencer

So I just think it's time you and I had a little talk about...

Carly

(interrupts) I'm not having this conversation!

Spencer

Thank you so much!

Spencer

So, you wanna take Carly to the dance?

I'd rather just make out with her.

Spencer

NEXT!

Sam

Dude, it's enormous...

Spencer

I know!

Freddie

It's like 10-Feet tall!

Spencer

Yeah. Its like what you said: 1 10-feet iCarly award.

Carly

NO! We said 10 1-foot iCarly Awardsssss...

Carly

You just want to flirt with models in swimsuits.

Spencer

That is absolutely true!

Spencer

FREDDIE! FREDDIE!

Freddie

(arrives from upstairs) What is the problem?

Spencer

You said HOT EUROPEAN swimsuit models!

Freddie

Ahhhh, I didn't say they were hot.

Spencer

Yeah, and you didn't say they were DUDES, either!

Spencer

BOOM! (gives Gibby two awards)

Gibby

Two? You're getting faster.

Spencer

Never underestimate the power of shirtless European men in swimsuits!

Gibby

...I never do!

Spencer

[To the European swimsuit model] Yurgin, you glued her hair to her feet.

[nods] Yes.

Spencer

Well, do women in your country have hair on their feet?

[nods sheepishly] ...Yes...

Spencer

[to the European swimsuit models] Everybody! This is America, so the women's hair goes on their head...

[nodding] Ohhhhh!

Gibby

Sorry, I squeezed the nozzle to hard.

Spencer

You're supposed to be making a light ocean spray, that felt like a whale peed in my face!

Spencer

You bought a taco?

Sam

Uh-huh.

Spencer

From the truck that hit Freddie?

Sam

Well, me starving is not gonna help him!

Spencer

Hey, look. his toes sticks out of his cast! This little piggy went to market, and this little piggy got hit by a truck.

Carly

SPENCER!

Freddie

My mom thinks I'll choke on pills, so she pounds 'em with a mallet and puts the pill powder in my fruit sauce.

Spencer

Fruit sauce?

Freddie

My mom thinks I'll choke on fruits, so she pounds it with a mallet--

Spencer

It's not my business.

Spencer

Do you see a girl in there?

No. Why, did you order one?