So.. I'm confused, are we in trouble?
MOMrs. Michelle Obama
No, not at all!
She watched iCarly online last week.
SamFor real?!
Uh huh, my daughters are big fans and I am too.
[walks through Carly and Spencer's front door] Wait, is she-
[Carly, Sam and Freddie yell at T-Bo to leave]
[T-Bo quickly leaves]
Sam
So what are you doing here? Um.. your, excellency. [takes a small bow]
You don't call her your excellency.
OMrs. Obama
No, no, I kinda like it.
[Sam whacks her upper chest at Freddie and he pulls a 'what?!' face back at her]
OMrs. Obama
I came here to say, I'm proud of you.
OMrs. Obama
[points at Carly] Because of how much you care for your father, [then points at Sam and Freddie] and because of what you two did for your friend.
You mean, setting up the surprise birthday party on iCarly?
OMrs. Obama
Uh huh, my husband and I talk to a lot of people with family in the military.
[puts his hands on Mrs Obama's shoulders] Her husband is the president.
[Mrs. Obama's bodyguards reach into their pockets as if they're about to pull out guns and begin to make their way towards Spencer]
Sorry. [takes his hands off Mrs Obama's shoulders and takes a few steps back]
[Gibby zips up his suitcase, then gets it up and pulls up the handle.]
Why are you bringing a big suitcase? We're just going to Canada for the day.
Yeah. So I brought some hair care products, uh, some extra batteries, a change of underpants.
[Freddie looks at the suitcase.]
[Takes his jacket from a jacket hanger] Come on, guys. We gotta hit the road. [Puts on his jacket]
Sam
We don't have to be at the Fat Cake Factory 'til one.
Yeah, but it's a two-hour drive. We gotta go through security at the border.
Why? It's not like Canada's a different country.
[Pause.]
I thought it was like Idaho.
Idaho's a state– in our country.
Look, I don't need a lecture.
Sam
You sure you're not gonna come?
I want to but I already bailed on Lance twice and he's really cool. And if I bail again, he's gonna think I don't like him, and I really do like him. Besides, I haven't kissed a guy in four months. I'm gettin' itchy.
Handsome Lance is picking me up at five o'clock. With his car.
So what are you gonna do 'til then?
Probably take a long hot bath, and I'll blow my hair out, maybe I'll do my nails–
Sam
Bye.
[Sam, Freddie, Spencer, and Gibby leave as Carly looks on.]
[A Malaysian man takes a red suitcase through the border, unaware that it is Gibby's and that Sam is inside.]
Sam
[Inside the suitcase] Gibby?
[To Freddie and Gibby] Okay, let's get outta here.
[To Gibby] Grab Sam, let's go.
[Takes a red suitcase, unaware that it is the Malaysian man's and that Sam is not inside] Ooh. Sam's light.
[Freddie, Spencer, and Gibby make their way through the border.]
FSFreddie, Spencer, and Gibby
[Chanting, in unison] U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
[T-Bo lifts up a sign that says 'Warning']
[T-Bo puts down the sign]
You're about to watch a very special episode of iCarly.
Sam
It's... different.
It's not for normal people.
You might find it, disturbing.
[They all lift up bowls of soup.]
Sam
As you enjoy this special new episode of iCarly.
[All of them eat a spoonful of soup]
MMinko
Ahhhh! You girls are so stupid! [pushes them forward and points to the elevator] There!!! There's Poachy!!! Right there!!! [both girls scream]
Sam
Poachy!
Sam
We found him! [kisses the frame surrounding him]
Why didn't you tell us he was in here?
MMinko
I DID tell you idiots! And nobody better hit me with a stop sign! [Gibby is creeping up on him, and then does just that]
[laughs] April Fools! Ha ha.
Sam
Dude, that's not how you do an April Fools joke!
And anyway, you're not even supposed to be in this flashback! ...Great. Minko's unconscious. What do we do with him?
Sam
I'll get the shovel.
I'll get the marshmallows.
You know, even though Spencer and I have to move out of this apartment tonight, forever, I'm still in a great mood.
Oh, when aren't you in a good mood?
Sam
I know right [agreeing with Freddie]
What?! Sometimes I get in bad moods.
No no no, wait wait wait wait wait. In all fairness, sometimes Carly does get in bad moods.
Uh, like when the time T-Bo made you those stuffed mushrooms.
[The rest apart from Carly agree with him and laugh]
Oh c'mon, I wasn't that mad.
Sam
You were pretty mad that day-
-no [disagreeing with Sam]
[Everyone looks up for a flashback]
[flashback]
[Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Carly are all reading together]
Sam
I just love reading together.
[T-Bo walks in]
Hey hey Carly! I made you stuffed mushrooms.
[Carly stands up and slams her book shut]
[yells] WHO CARES?! [throws book at T-Bo angrily]
[T-Bo falls against the door, Sam, Spencer and Freddie turn to Carly in shocked at the same time and Carly breathes in and out quickly and deeply in rage and anger. Scene cuts to the group in Tori Vega's living room]
Okay. Okay, I was in kind of a bad mood that day.
GGibby (as Robbie)
Kind of?
You threw a book at T-Bo.
Yeah, and just because he made you some stuffed mushroo-[notices the area they are in] Hey. Uh, hey, wha-
(notices he is Robbie) Gibbeh?
Sam
(hesitantly and shocked) When I make it shine...!
[the group all stares straight, then at each other, then straight again]
Carly! You gotta come back with me! [gives Carly her backpack]
But, I'm supposed to do iCarly stuff tonight with Sam and Freddie.
Well, bring them along, this concerns them too! [gives Freddie his camera and Sam her remote]
Sam
Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
What are you talking about?
What happens to us in the future, do we become hobknockers or something?
No no, you guys all turn out fine. It's your kids.
Sam
What kids?!
Um, yours [points to Carly] and his? [points to Freddie] Or his [points to Freddie] and hers, [points to Sam] or hers [points to Sam again] and his, [points to Freddie] I don't remember, but something's gotta be done about your kids!
Well, how do we get to a future episode of iCarly?
[T-Bo flys out of Spencer's room in a bubble]
Y'all can hitch a ride with me.
Hurry T-bo! Beam us onboard!
Energising. [beams the others onboard]
Wait! In the future, is iCarly still on in reruns?
Reruns? Where we're going we don't need... [puts his costume glasses on] Reruns.
Hang on! [starts moving his spaceship bubble]
[Everyone makes whirling noises, then they all scream and cheer as they fly through the screen into the future.]
[shouts down the corridor] Carly, c'mon!
[Carly walks round the corner with all the luggage, groaning. She drops the bags and leans against Freddie's front door, but the door opens and she falls in and screams. She gets up, still groaning and closes the door]
[Throws a hat on the floor] I'm sick and dying! Urgh!
Maybe I should take you to a doctor.
No. [Starts picking all the bags back up] no, just, open our door so I can... go in there and just be alone.
[Spencer opens the front door]
[Sam, Freddie, Gibby and T-Bo are all hanging out in their apartment]
[They all say hi]
[walks in to find Sam, Freddie, Gibby and T-Bo partying in the apartment] What is going on here?
Sam
I'm cooking steaks.
How long, have you guys been hanging out in OUR apartment?
Sam
Uh, how long you guys been on vacation?
Sam
'bout 8 days.
Carly groans and falls to the floor
Sam
Gib, help her up!
Gibby helps Carly stand up
Man, she looks sicky sick.
Yeah, she's got jungle worms.
[drops Carly] Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!! [runs out of the apartment]
Sam
They're like these scuzzy little parasites that set up camp in your guts.
Spencer helps Carly onto the couch while she continues groaning
How do you know about jungle worms?
Sam
My mom got them from using some foreign guy's toothbrush.
So, what are the symptoms?
Can someone cover me with a blanket?
..and a lot of, you know..
[Carly runs into the bathroom and throws up]
Sam
Poor kid.
One of us should probably get in there and help her.
Sam
Hey these steaks are ready.
[They all go over to Sam for some steak, leaving Carly in the bathroom alone]
I know what might motivate Harry to get out of bed and back on stage.
Sam
You think I should work him over with the butter sock?
You know, I really, really, don't.
ZZayn
Did she say butter sock?
LLouis
...Full of butt-ah?
Do you guys want to hear my idea?
NNiall
Does it involve the butter sock...?
No! I just thought Harry might suddenly feel better if he thought he was going to be replaced in One Direction.
Sam
Whoa wait replace Harry?
Not for real we just make him think he's going to be replaced.
iCarly · 611 quotes
