[Dr. House is with Stacy in her house when Mark enters the room.]
What's going on?
It's not what you think. I know it looks like we're cleaning dishes, but actually, we're having sex.
S2 E7Hunting
Have you read his file?
I started, but I found the characters two-dimensional.
Pre-World War II fluorescent bulbs contained large amounts of beryllium. Beryllium dust inflames the lungs, they get rigid, patient can't breathe. [Dr. House gives him a questioning look] My father co-authored a paper on acute berylliosis.
Phew! For a moment there I thought you were smart.
He thought he was dying. Dying people lie, too. Wish they'd worked less, they'd been nicer, they'd opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it, you don't save it for sound byte.
So now you've got to drum up another excuse to be around the love of your life. Could hit another patient.
Nah, don't like to repeat myself. People will say I'm formulaic.
S2 E8The Mistake
She's overreacting.
You snuck into her shrink's office and read her private file. When Nixon did that, he got impeached.
So you're saying I'm not allowed to have oral sex with an intern either?
As your lawyer, I can't stop you from lying, I can't even be in the room, but I would be remiss if I didn't prep you to lie better.
I need to talk to you.
From the doorway?
It's confidential.
Cool. I love gossip.
If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him?
He has great hair.
What are you hiding?
I'm gay. Oh, that's not what you meant. It does explain a lot, though: no girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers...
Five grand. And that's just ante money; after the surgery you'll get another fifteen, though I warn you that includes the tip.
ADr. Ayersman
[Laughs] I make six hundred grand a year. You think I'm going to risk tanking my percentages for twenty thousand?!
It's tax free.
ADr. Ayersman
For the record, I hope the department takes you and Chase and drop kicks both your asses out the back door.
Great, that means I don't have to bother welshing on the other fifteen grand I would have owed you. If you don't do the surgery I'm going to tell your wife that you've been sleeping with a series of nurses, currently Nurse Cutler in Radiology. Now what's six hundred-thousand divided by two?
[...]
Oh, and for the record, you are the worst transplant surgeon in this hospital. But, unfortunately, you are the only one who's currently cheating on his wife.
S2 E9Deception
[A woman collapses onto the floor]
Is anybody here a doctor?
Chase killed that woman, now Foreman's in charge?
Yeah, we have a pecking order here, if Cameron kills somebody, Chase takes over. There's a flow chart in the lobby.
Work smart, not hard. That's my philosophy, boss.
[To a patient who's been using strawberry jelly as a spermicide, and got an infection from it] You probably shouldn't have sex for a while.
How long?
On an evolutionary basis, I'd recommend forever.
[While searching Anica's house] She's got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Tuesday and an appointment with her gynecologist on Thursday. Multiple appointments with multiple doctors... symptom of Munchausen's.
Or - just thinking outside the box here - she has a vagina and trouble reading.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.