TV QuotesDatabase
SEASON 2

House · Season 2

House Season 2 quotes

123 quotes · page 2 of 9

House
All S1 S2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S7 S8

S2 E4TB or Not TB

SSebastian

Every minute four people die of TB.

Wow, how can you sleep at night?

SSebastian

There's people dying in Africa of a disease that we cured over...

Yeah, I know, I saw the concert. Seriously, let's say you sleep six hours, that means every night you kill 1440 people. I guess you gotta get some sleep, but come on, if you'd stayed up another ten minutes you could have saved forty lives. Do you send notes to the families in the morning? That's gonna take at least ten minutes, so that's another forty dead, another forty notes... why don't you go wrack yourself with guilt in your own room?

Every minute that we refuse to love one another, another puppy cries another tear.

You're just mad because he's closer to a Nobel Prize than you are.

And yet I've nailed more Swedish babes. Crazy, crazy world.

It's not just the trip to Stockholm, you know. It comes with a cash prize.

Seriously? No wonder everybody is going after that peace thing.

He cures thousands of people every year, you cure what 30?

McDonalds makes a better hamburger than your mother because they make more?

Oh, I see, so you hate him because the lives he saves aren't as good as the lives you save?

Yep, that's the reason. Nobel invented dynamite, I won't accept his blood money.

There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function.

Hmmm. So, the great humanitarian's as selfish as the rest of us.

Just not as honest about it.

You want third-world treatment? [Turns up the thermostat] You got it. Boy, is it hot here in Johnny!

What are you doing?

What am I doing? [He knocks Sebastian's things onto the floor] Putting everything on the floor of the hut. Uh oh, wicked magic box with the moving pictures!

You think he's a hypocrite?

[Unplugging the TV] Hypocrite? No, everybody in Africa's got cell phones or running water. [He has dropped Sebastian's cell phone in the toilet] Ha! This thing just will not flush.

SSebastian

Do you really think that if you come in here and make it a little hot, make it smell a little, that I'm just going to fold and abandon everything that matters to me?

[Wiping his cane on Sebastian's blanket] Lousy sanitation over there, too. You are not the same as them; your life is not the same. And you are cheapening everything they're going through by pretending you are.

S2 E5Daddy's Boy

If you have the money, then why did you need the loan?

I didn't. Just wanted to see if you would give it to me. I've been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me forty dollars a year ago. A little experiment to see where you draw the line.

You're ... you're trying to... objectively measure how much I value our friendship?!

Hey, it's five grand. You've got nothing to be ashamed of.

JHJohn House

Last I checked, you still have two legs.

[holds up cane] Actually, three.

JHJohn House

You know what your problem is, Greg?

Shifting gears?

JHJohn House

You just don't know how lucky you are.

S2 E6Spin

You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a.... I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor.

This guy doesn't even get sick like a regular person. Instead of a list of symptoms and no cause, we have a list of possible causes for one symptom.

Is the symptom death?

How's your recovery going? Gotten around to the small muscles yet?

It's not the size of the muscle; it's where you get to put it.

My goodness, it's like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade.

[makes a dramatic gesture with the stirring stick] Go forth and scan his neck.

His neck?

Or repeat everything I say in question form.

[sticks the patient in the thigh] You are healed. Rise and walk.

JJeff

Are you insane?

In the Bible, they just say, "Yes, Lord" and then start right on in with the praising.

JJeff

First you tell me I've got cancer. Then you tell me that my manager... [Jeff realizes he can move his arms] What did you do?

No, what did you do, Lord?

These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.