CurlyBecause three months, two weeks and four days ago, Eugene borrowed my favorite pencil - the pencil I got last summer at Wankyland - and then, when he finally returned it, it had chew marks all over it! And he sharpened it down to the metal parts! I couldn't sleep! I couldn't eat! All I could think about was Eugene writing with my pencil, Eugene chewing on my eraser and Eugene sharpening, sharpening, SHARPENING! And then, when he finally gives it back to me, he says: 'Oh, here Curly.' Like it was NO BIG DEAL! Well, I couldn't just take that lying down. So I got this plan, see — the fire alarm, I pull it! And then I frame Eugene for the crime! All I had to do was plant the right clues the peanut butter the glasses and to top it all off, the pencil. Bingo, he would be branded for life! [laughs maniacally]
Curly
Yeah, I like Licorice, so what? Kidnapping is not my game — too messy!
Then where were you, handsome?
Curly
Alright I'll tell ya but you have to keep it under your hat, see.
I don't think you're in the position to give orders.
Curly
I was at a ballet lesson Madame Bovary's school for boys.
Ballet lessons? Oh, come on.
Curly
[dancing] Plié, jeté. See, I ain't joking.
All right, he checks out.
[The episode opens with the opera house with a bus in front of it, and then switches to the other side of the bus to show students from P.S. 118 in a group with Mr. Packadam in front of them. Helga steps out of the bus with Phoebe following behind]
Humph! Opera, what a bunch of dorks! La-de-da-froo-froo ladies in wigs singing a lotta 2-dollar words about nothing, doi!
What a waste of a good field trip!
You said a mouthful, pal. Opera's for wimps!
[The students start yelling]
PMr. Packenham
Kids, kids, listen! Feel the music. Here's the big finish! [hums, then sighs when the music stops] And that was Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries". What do you think?
PMr. Packenham
Stinky, you are entitled to your opinion; but I bet by the time we're finished with this field trip; I'll make an opera lover of you yet! [rewinds on the boom box and presses play] And this is, of course, the song of Pagliacci, the crying clown.
[steps out] Look at me, I'm Pagliacci, the big, sad clown. Boo, hoo, hoo! Ha, ha, ha!
[The students laugh]
PMr. Packenham
[pointing to the poster] And this is what we'll be seeing today. A classic tale of power and faithless love; the opera "Carmen".
Power and faithless love, huh? Ya got my attention.
PMr. Packenham
The story centers around Carmen, the beautiful gypsy, [the students ooh and aah] who flirts with the young Spanish officer, Don José. [the students hoot] Don José is, how you say, charmed by Carmen, and lets her escape arrest for, um, how should I put this, causing harm to another girl.
Maybe this won't be so boring after all, Pheebs.
Oh, not boring at all, Helga. "Carmen" is a great story.
PMr. Packenham
But Carmen forgets all about Don José the minute she sets her gypsy eyes on the torero Escamillo.
[confused] Torero? What's a torero?
Curly
You know, a toreador, a bullfighter! [pulls out a handkerchief and holds it in the air; Harold acts like a bull and runs into it; removes it and bows] Ole!
[The students cheer; the lights flicker]
PMr. Packenham
Oh my gosh! Look, the show’s about to start. Everyone have your tickets ready.
[Everyone walks inside, but Helga sneaks behide a pillar)
[sneaks behind the pillar and spies on Arnold, along with Gerald, getting binoculars] Oh, Arnold, flamenco dancer stomping on the stage of my heart! Conquistador of my soul! With that, at this moment, I could know your heart's desire, my love. [Arnold aims his binoculars in the direction of Ruth, who's talking with Connie and Maria] Ruth! [cringes] Ruuuth! If only I can get that football-headed torero to feel that way about me! What am I doing wrong? What? [pushes usher out of the way] One side, moron!
[The students are on the balcony. Helga moves to her seat next to Gerald who is next to Arnold. As soon as Arnold and Gerald eat some caramels, the curtain opens to reveal the actors. Arnold leans closer to the edge, but then soon falls asleep]
[Curly has locked himself in Principal Wartz's office]
What do you possibly think you're doing?
Curly
I'm not opening this door! I'm not coming out! I'm mad as heck, and I'm not going to take it any more!
What are you talking about?
Curly
Turns out I am not the ball monitor this week. I wanted the responsibility. Oh, I could taste it. And I'm not having a fine day, in fact, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong!
I see something has gone wrong! You come out right now, or you'll be facing some very, unpleasant times ahead! I'm warning you! [Curly opens up the window above the door]
Curly
[a la The Shining] Heeeeere's Curly! [he throws a dodgeball at Wartz]
Curly
That's one! One for me and 498 to go! [He throws another dodgeball and laughs evilly. Lightning flashes outside]
[the kids are thinking of ideas for something to do]
I say we all go over and crash Rhonda's party and eat all her food!
Well, I say we get a carload of horse manure and leave it on her porch!
Curly
I say we paint ourselves with tiger stripes, and go free all the animals in the zoo!
[Everyone stares at him]
[sarcastically] Fine, Curly. We'll meet you there in an hour. [Curly runs away cackling] Poor twisted little freak.
Hey Arnold! · 434 quotes
