Sid quotes from Hey Arnold!

I just saw Helga on her way to Rhonda's party and she was all dolled up like a girl!

[screams] IT'S WHEEZIN' ED! And... AND SOME OTHER GUY!

We threw away everything but the kitchen sink! gets the kitchen sink Okay, here goes!

Phoebe

What did you think TSP stood for?

[With everyone looking at him] Uh... ten square pounds?

Wilikers! It's Big Bob!

And... and... some other guy!

Gerald

[offscreen] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!

Huh?

Gerald

[steps out of the darkness, wearing fancy Rococo clothes] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro! [runs back into darkness]

Hey, Gerald, what are you doing? Where are you going? What's going on? [crying comes from the other side and Harold steps out, dressed as a clown] Harold? [turns around and sees Harold crying] Uh, are you alright?

Harold

Look at me, Arnold! Look at me! I'm a...I'm a... [sings] ...big ugly clown, oh! A big, sad ugly clown, oh! [cries and runs away]

[dressed as Carmen, steps out, and slowly walks down the stairs halfway] I'm Ruth McCarmen, and awfully charmin'. [points to Arnold] I guess you've noticed by the way you stare. You're not bad either. [Arnold looks down and sees his new clothes] Let's take a breather, and we can talk about my auburn hair.

Her auburn hair! You're standing there. Why don't you introduce yourself to Ruth?

She's like a flower blossom.

I know, she's wicked awesome!

Gerald

Come on, Arnold, it's the moment of truth! [pushes him to the foot of the stairs]

[pulls up his pants] My name's Don Arnold, [pulls out caramel bag] please have a caramel. [she takes one and flutters her lashes] Your hair is lovely, do you like my pants? [smiles, embarrassed] They're made of satin, [takes off cape] the cape's pure Latin. [a hanger comes down and he hangs it; it goes back up] I had it tailored in the south of France.

The south of France, your satin pants. [a cow picks Arnold up] Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?

It's time for your decision.

It's almost intermission.

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, you better ask her to dance.

[they reach Ruth] Uhhh... [gets hit with a spitball; instantly wakes up] Hey, cut that out! Who's doing that?

Helga

[tucks the sling shot back in her shirt] I had to shut you up somehow. You were snoring louder than the orchestra.

Man, how far into it are we?

Gerald

[looking at his tape] Beats me. I'm looking for something to listen to, until this thing is over. [puts on his headphones]

Phoebe

Second act. Now Carmen will convince Don José to desert from the army and join her band of gypsy smugglers. All goes okay for a while, but then this really handsome guy named Escamillo comes along.

I think Curly's finally snapped.

Gerald

No kidding.

You guys, Curly's snapped. He's throwing kickballs at Principal Wartz. My kickballs!

Helga

Hahaha. It's finally happened. Our demented Curly has gone over the edge.

Curly? Snapped? How terrible. Terribly sad.

There's a grand brouhaha outside Principal Wartz's office. LET'S GO!

He's a goner...

Gerald

He's a brave boy...

Harold

He's a saint — he gave me his tokens...

Hey, Stinky, come over here and tell me what I'm looking at.

Well, I'd say it looks like Harold. Only it can't be Harold. On the count he's single with a girl.

It is Harold. And it's not just a girl, it's Big Patty.

You reckon he snapped his cap?

He must've, Stinky. What other explanation could there be?

Hey, Harold.

Harold

Huh? What?

Am I whacked, or did Stinky and me see you with Big Patty at the ice cream parlor?

Harold

Yeah. I was there.

With Big Patty?

Harold

Her name's Patty! So what if I was?

I thought you didn't like girls anyway.

Harold

I don't. I mean, they're okay. What's the big deal anyways?

Well, it's no big deal if you got a crush on a girl, Harold. But who would've thought you'd get one on Big Patty?

Yeah, Big Patty!

Harold

Cut it out. I do not have a crush on her. I don't even really like her. I was just doing her a favor by hanging out with her. I probably won't even see her again.

Okay, Harold. You don't have to get all mad about it.

Harold

Stop it or I'll pound ya!

Hey, Harold. You wanna have lunch with me and Sid?

Harold

I was kinda supposed to meet somebody.

Who?

It's not your girlfriend Big Patty, is it?

[teasing] Harold and Patty!

Harold

Shut up! It's not Patty! Why would I be having lunch with her? And she's not my girlfriend.

Harold

I bet Rhonda thinks I'm a geek because I'm fat and loud and OBNOXIOUS!

Curly

And I'll bet she thinks I'm a geek 'cause my dad cuts my hair with a bowl!

I bet she thinks I'm a geek because of my huge nose!

It's not that huge, Sid.

Thanks, Stinky, but you're just saying that because you've got the biggest honker in the whole city. No offence.

None taken.

Harold

This is gonna be great.

He's sure gonna be surprised.

Hey, guys, what are you doing here?

[giggles] We're all gonna moon Principal Wartz.

It was Harold's brilliant idea.

Harold

Want to do it with us?

I do not think so.

Harold

Oh, come on, it's fun.

It's all the rage.

All the Junior High Kids are doing it.

It sounds great, guys, but I think I'll pass.

Harold

Oh, you're just a chicken.

I am not chicken, Harold. It's just not such a good idea.

Harold

That's because you are a weenie. You don't have the guts, is all.

Yeah, you just don't have the guts.

Harold

No guts at all.

It's not that, I just...

Harold

Shh, shh. [heard Principal Wartz coming out of his office] Here he comes. Get ready on three. [Harold, Stinky, and Sid put on some masks and turn around] One...

Are you really gonna go through this?

Harold

Shh! Two... [they unzip and grab their pants, Principal Wartz walks down the hallway] Three! [everyone except Arnold bends over]

Principal Wartz

What the — What is this? [puts on his glasses and sees Harold, Stinky, and Sid mooning him] Oh, my! Whoa! [Harold, Stinky, and Sid pull up their pants, and run down the hallway laughing] Come back here, ya hooligans! [Harold, Stinky, and Sid ran out of the school and Principal Wartz was panting] You won't get away with this. [to Arnold] You there! Where do you think you are going, Young Man?

Harold

Hey, Arnold. You didn't tell on us, did you?

No, I didn't tell.

Harold

What did Wartz do to you?

He gave me four weeks detention.

Four weeks?

But you didn't even do anything.

I know, Stinky.

Harold

You better not rat on us, Arnold! 'Cause you know what will happen if you do!

I won't tell.

You think maybe it ain't fair for Arnold to take the blame for what we did?

You mean like, maybe we should go tell Wartz that we're the ones who mooned him, and get Arnold off the hook.

Harold

[jumps out of frustration] No, no, no! Arnold got caught; that's his fault, not ours. We got away with what we did, and that is all that counts. Nobody is going into Wartz's office and telling him what we did. Nobody! You got it?

I guess there's no sense in all three of us getting detention.

Hmm. I guess you're right, Harold. You figure he'll crack and spill the beans?

Principal Wartz

Students, yesterday, at approximately 3:38 P.M., a heinous crime was committed here in the Halls of P.S. 118. Three of our pupils engaged in a flagrant violation of district rules: namely, the dropping of their trousers and exposing of their fleshy unmentionables to a respected and beloved school official. Some of you may know this despicable practice as "mooning." Well, let me assure you, the culprits will be uncovered! I will get to the bottom of this! That is all.

What if he finds out we did it?

Harold

He won't find out if nobody tells him...