Stinky quotes from Hey Arnold!

[About Pigeon Man] Does he bite?

[hides into a trash can] Talk about ironic.

Ya-Hoo Soda, just drink it.

Wow, Helga, you look just like the girl on the box of hot chocolate.

[to his father] I know and all in one week too!

Try, try, and try again, til you can't try no longer. And if that don't work, you just spent a whole lot of time doin' somethin' you just couldn't do.

I done went and sat on my hot sauce and now I gots hot pants!

Um, fellas. Is it just me, or is the floor moving?

What the heck is "Eugene Eugene," Eugene?

[talking about the Ghost Bride] The Ghost Bride will get you and hack you up, just like her sister and her former intended!

Wilikers! It's Big Bob!

And... and... some other guy!

Why are your pants ironed so nicely?

Gerald

Why don't you teach us anything?

Curly

Why do fools fall in love?

I'll die!

You won't die, Stinky.

No, I will, I'll die! Lay down and die like an old dog.

Helga

Humph! Opera, what a bunch of dorks! La-de-da-froo-froo ladies in wigs singing a lotta 2-dollar words about nothing, doi!

Gerald

What a waste of a good field trip!

Harold

You said a mouthful, pal. Opera's for wimps!

Kids, kids, listen! Feel the music. Here's the big finish! [hums, then sighs when the music stops] And that was Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries". What do you think?

Boo!

That really bites!

Stinky, you are entitled to your opinion; but I bet by the time we're finished with this field trip; I'll make an opera lover of you yet! [rewinds on the boom box and presses play] And this is, of course, the song of Pagliacci, the crying clown.

Harold

[steps out] Look at me, I'm Pagliacci, the big, sad clown. Boo, hoo, hoo! Ha, ha, ha!

[pointing to the poster] And this is what we'll be seeing today. A classic tale of power and faithless love; the opera "Carmen".

Helga

Power and faithless love, huh? Ya got my attention.

The story centers around Carmen, the beautiful gypsy, [the students ooh and aah] who flirts with the young Spanish officer, Don José. [the students hoot] Don José is, how you say, charmed by Carmen, and lets her escape arrest for, um, how should I put this, causing harm to another girl.

Helga

Maybe this won't be so boring after all, Pheebs.

Phoebe

Oh, not boring at all, Helga. "Carmen" is a great story.

But Carmen forgets all about Don José the minute she sets her gypsy eyes on the torero Escamillo.

Gerald

[confused] Torero? What's a torero?

Curly

You know, a toreador, a bullfighter! [pulls out a handkerchief and holds it in the air; Harold acts like a bull and runs into it; removes it and bows] Ole!

Oh my gosh! Look, the show’s about to start. Everyone have your tickets ready.

Helga

[sneaks behind the pillar and spies on Arnold, along with Gerald, getting binoculars] Oh, Arnold, flamenco dancer stomping on the stage of my heart! Conquistador of my soul! With that, at this moment, I could know your heart's desire, my love. [Arnold aims his binoculars in the direction of Ruth, who's talking with Connie and Maria] Ruth! [cringes] Ruuuth! If only I can get that football-headed torero to feel that way about me! What am I doing wrong? What? [pushes usher out of the way] One side, moron!

Gerald

[offscreen] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!

Huh?

Gerald

[steps out of the darkness, wearing fancy Rococo clothes] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro! [runs back into darkness]

Hey, Gerald, what are you doing? Where are you going? What's going on? [crying comes from the other side and Harold steps out, dressed as a clown] Harold? [turns around and sees Harold crying] Uh, are you alright?

Harold

Look at me, Arnold! Look at me! I'm a...I'm a... [sings] ...big ugly clown, oh! A big, sad ugly clown, oh! [cries and runs away]

[dressed as Carmen, steps out, and slowly walks down the stairs halfway] I'm Ruth McCarmen, and awfully charmin'. [points to Arnold] I guess you've noticed by the way you stare. You're not bad either. [Arnold looks down and sees his new clothes] Let's take a breather, and we can talk about my auburn hair.

Her auburn hair! You're standing there. Why don't you introduce yourself to Ruth?

She's like a flower blossom.

I know, she's wicked awesome!

Gerald

Come on, Arnold, it's the moment of truth! [pushes him to the foot of the stairs]

[pulls up his pants] My name's Don Arnold, [pulls out caramel bag] please have a caramel. [she takes one and flutters her lashes] Your hair is lovely, do you like my pants? [smiles, embarrassed] They're made of satin, [takes off cape] the cape's pure Latin. [a hanger comes down and he hangs it; it goes back up] I had it tailored in the south of France.

The south of France, your satin pants. [a cow picks Arnold up] Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?

It's time for your decision.

It's almost intermission.

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, you better ask her to dance.

[they reach Ruth] Uhhh... [gets hit with a spitball; instantly wakes up] Hey, cut that out! Who's doing that?

Helga

[tucks the sling shot back in her shirt] I had to shut you up somehow. You were snoring louder than the orchestra.

Man, how far into it are we?

Gerald

[looking at his tape] Beats me. I'm looking for something to listen to, until this thing is over. [puts on his headphones]

Phoebe

Second act. Now Carmen will convince Don José to desert from the army and join her band of gypsy smugglers. All goes okay for a while, but then this really handsome guy named Escamillo comes along.