Oskar quotes from Hey Arnold!

But Suzie, where am I going to sleep?

Eh. Heheheheh! Look! It's Buddy Love! And he's going coconuts!

I know, let's catch him and sell him to the circus!

So, everybody think they know me so well. Well, what do they know about Oskar? Nothing! I can do a job. Sure, I can! I'll show them. Tomorrow morning, I'm going to deliver those papers. Then they'll see.

Arnold, I can't believe how handsome you're getting, the way your body's growing to match the unusual shape of your head.

[about to bet Arnold's CD player during a poker game] Don't worry, Arnold, there's no way I can lose. [next frame] I can't believe I lost.

Grandpa Phil

You already had three helpings. [hits Oskar's hand]

Oww, you hurt my hand. I'm going to sue you!

Ghost? I don't believe in ghosts. I'm not the least bit superstitious.

[From inside] What do you mean you're not superstitious? You keep a horse shoe in your pants.

Don't mock my families traditions!

Drink Ya-Hoo Soda, it's really great. I'm telling you it's the best soda okay?

How old are you?

I'm seven years old. I'm a little kid, see?

Next!

Ehhhhhhhhhh...

Look, buddy, I told you, I don't have the money. I have to use it to pay for my mother's hip operations.

You little weasel, I'll give you a one week to come up with a cash, or else...

Or else what? Okay, I get the picture. You're a big man, aren't you?

Gerald

[sighs] That Oskar Kokoschka, he's always get into trouble. Does he have a job or anything?

[laughs a little bit] Oskar? I don't think he's ever had a job.

[Knocks the door #5 and looks down at Ernie] Ernie, how's your demolitions business?

Ernie

What do you want, Kokoschka?

What makes you think I want something? It hurts me when you say things like that.

Ernie

Okay, then. Um... what is it?

Well, I just came to tell you, to tell you that I love you, buddy. Come on, give us for a hug!

Ernie

That's nice, Oskar. I like you too. And, uh, a brotherly, sort of way.

Well, that's all I wanted to say.

Ernie

Sorry, Oskar, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Well, you should be more careful next time, before you go around judging people. Oh, by the way, can I borrow fifty bucks?

Ernie

You're a bum, Kokoschka! A lousy bum! You'll never change.

Yeah. So how about the fifty? [Ernie slams the door at Oskar, and Oskar sadly walks away to the next door and then he knocks the door #3] Mr. Hyuhn! How's my fellow immigrant good buddy? Uh, how's it going?

You're not get any money from me! You're not good, Oskar! No good at all! [Slams the door at Oskar and makes him walk away]

[Arnold's Grandpa opens the door] Grandpa! [Arnold's Grandpa slams the door at him. And walks away] And I guess there's only one thing to do.

Okay, son, when can you start the job?

It's not for me, it's for him.

How many sick days do I get?

Him? Is he little old to be a paper boy?

He work really hard, I promise.

Everything in my bones tells me, I'm making a big mistake. But, I need carrier bad. You pick up the papers at 4am each morning: Bundle em' and deliver em' to the addresses on this route by 6am sharp.

He got the job?

[Stamps the paper] He got the job.

Thanks a lot!

How many sick days do I get? [Grabs the candy and Arnold pulls him out to leave]

[Arnold knocks on his door] What is it?

Mr. Kokoscha, it's a quarter after 4, the newspapers!

Oh, yeah. Right. Uh, listen, Arnold, I can't work today, I got sick last night.

You're sick?

Oh yeah, real sick; I got the- a Chinese stomach flu. It's really bad. Oh!

But, it's your first day on your job.

I know. Talk about bad luck.

Well, I guess I can deliver your papers today.

Oh, Arnold, that would be great. Thanks a lot.

Yeah, I hope you feel better.

Me too, but don't count on it, I'm sick like a dog. [Shuts and opens the door] Oh! Ho, ho! [Shuts the door]

Mr. Kokoscha, it's 4:30. You got newspapers to deliver.

Oh yeah. Listen, Arnold, you won't believe what happened, [Bends his back and cracks it] I threw out my back last night. Oh, ho! I can barely move. But, don't worry, I still deliver the papers.

Are you okay?

[Cracks reactively] Ooooh, hooo hooo! Yes, sure, I'll be alright. I have to do my job.

Can you work with your back like that?

[Willing to walk stiffly] Probably not. If I don't do it, how can the papers get delivered to all the good people of the city waiting for important news about world?

[Looks down] I guess I could deliver your papers today.

[Walks back to his room] Well, okay, if you insist. Oh, ho, ho, the pain! [Closes his door]

[Arnold pulls him into the hallway] Arnold, where's the fire?

Look, you wanted me to help you to get a job and I did.

Yeah, you did, good for you. I'll be right back, my beautiful Fatima!

Your first day on the job, you said you had a stomach flu. And today, you said you had a bad back!

What's your point?

My point is are you going to have another excuse tomorrow, or are you going to do your own job instead of making me do it for you?

Arnold, of course I'm going to do my job. Don't worry!

Good.

But I can't tomorrow. It's a national holiday for my old country. I forgot to tell you.

That's it! [Begins walking upstairs] I'm tired of all your excuses!

Arnold, you seem a little cranky. Maybe you should take a nap.

Look, I only helped you because you said you were desperate. You said you wanted to change. I guess I was wrong. Mr. Kokoschka, I'm sorry, but you are a huge loser!

Mr. Kokoschka? [Oskar's groaning] You didn't. Did you deliver the newspapers?

Yeah, you bet I did, Arnold, I showed you I can do a job, okay?

That's great, Mr.Kokoschka!

Maybe for you, but it almost killed me. Look, the tiny dog bit in my pants.

Ernie

What's going on, Kokoschka you bum? What are you up to?

Doing his job, Mr. Pottz.

I don't believe it.

Ernie

Quit kiddin' around. [Fans at Oskar]

You can't believe it, it's true... you don't think I can do a job, well I just did it. So take that to the bank, okay?

It's a miracle!

Ernie

I never thought I'd see today!

I worked two whole hours and I'm exhausted, but I did it.

We're proud of you, Mr. Kokoschka.

Ernie

Yeah sure, I bet you can't do it again tomorrow.

Oh yeah? Well, I show you! I'll do it tomorrow and maybe the next day.

Ernie

I'll bet you ten bucks you don't, Kokoschka.

Make it twenty, put your money where your mouth is.

Ernie

Twenty-one!

What do you mean twenty-one? Why don't we make it a hundred?