You told him, didn't you?
You are lying. I saw you talking to Wartz. You told him it was me, and Stinky, and Sid, didn't you? Didn't you?!
AArnold
No, Harold. I didn't.
AArnold
Because it wouldn't be right.
But you got detention for four weeks, and you didn't even do anything. If I was you and you were me, I would have cracked the first day and ratted you out!
AArnold
Well, maybe you would have, Harold, but I didn't, and I'm not going to. I gotta go. [Arnold leaves before Harold could answer.]
[to Harold; off-screen] Young Man?
Huh? Oh! Hello, Principal Wartz.
Hello, do you recognize anyone in this sketch?
No, sir. I don't. I really don't, not at all.
Okay. Well, keep up the good work, Son.
I sure will, Mr.— Principal Wartz.
Young Man, I hold here in my hand your Permanent Record. Now you still have a chance to save yourself. Just tell me who the real mooners are. Tell me their names, and I won't have to enter this terrible black mark on your Record.
[to Arnold] You understand that your Permanent Record will follow you all the way to Junior High?
And you still won't tell.
Then, you leave me no choice.
I did it, it was me! I'm sorry, Arnold is completely innocent. I'm the mooner. I am the mooner! [sobs]
And me! We all did it together. [sobs]
Arnold had nothing to do with it.
Oh, he was just a pawn in a horrible, twisted prank!
He's a saint. He's a saint. [Arnold smiles]
Well, Young Man, I suppose this lets you off the hook... [closes the top of the permanent black marker] ...for now.
I had to do it. I just couldn't live with the guilt.
AArnold
It's gonna go on your Permanent Record.
Yeah, I know, but I'd never figure I'd make it to Junior High anyways.
I feel so much better now that we fessed up.
Me too. I guess we didn't realize it, but deep down, the guilt was driving us crazy the whole time, you know, subconsciously.
Hey, Arnold, do you remember when I said you don't have any guts, 'cause you wouldn't moon Principal Wartz?
Why, you don't have any guts then, but after you showed up to Wartz and didn't rat us out, well, I figure that took a lot of guts. More guts than me and Sid and Stinky got put together.
Yeah, Arnold, you've got guts.
You are just chock full of guts.
Hey, guys, what do you say tomorrow, we'd make a great big old sign that says "KICK ME," and tape it to Mr. Simmons' back?
[giggles] What a great idea.
Everybody would be kicking him all day, and he won't get why!
AArnold
I know if that's not such a great idea...
AArnold
And he knows my name, and he keeps reciting this bizarre poetry.
PParrot
Why must I hold you only whilst I'd dream?
Well, he must belong to somebody, Arnold. They don't grow wild in these parts.
AArnold
I know, but it looked kind of scared when I found it. Like, maybe it ran away from home? Could I keep it?
Sure, why not, Short Man, but if the Real Owner comes to the door asking for his pet back, you know what you have to do.
AArnold
I know, Grandpa. Give the bird back to his owner.
What, are you crazy? No. You have to lie and tell them you don't know what they're talking about. Understand? Come on, let's get in The Packard and go to the Pet Store. We'll get bird seed and some of those bad-tasting biscuits.
Ow! Please don't pull my hair, Arnold.
AArnold
Huh? I didn't pull your hair.
Arnold, I know that you like me like me, but please, don't do it again.
Grandpa Phil I'm gonna run for President. Pookie, you can be my campaign manager. What's our slogan?
PPookie
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Pookie, you're fired. Arnold! You can be my campaign manager.
AArnold
[Sighs] Grandpa...?
I still can't understand how Lila could prefer your plain, homely, dull as dirt Cousin Arnie over you, Arnold. I mean, you're no Dapper Dan, but you sure are better looking than Arnie. And you're sure a lot more fun to talk to, but she does like him better! Look at her glow!
AArnold
[mad] Stinky, shut up.
[Helga has been sleepwalking, Phoebe following and Helga has just woken up on Arnold's fire escape after confessing everything, although Arnold has only just woken up.]
AArnold
What are you guys doing?
Doing? What does it look like we're doing, Hair Boy? We're taking a walk.
AArnold
Taking a walk on my fire escape?
That's right, Football Head. On your fire escape. It's a free country, we can walk wherever we feel like. Right, Phoebe?
AArnold
Whatever you say, Helga.
AArnold
Oh, sorry, Helga.
I just want to say that, that... that you should watch where you're going, Football Head, quit crashing into me all the time! Sheesh! [Helga runs away].
AArnold
Nice running into you too Helga.
Look at him, all ticked off. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know my secret. What a sap! He still can't even tell that I adore him. [Brainy comes out of a corner and gives Helga a plastic ring.] Look Brainy, this is just weird. How is it that you're standing behind me again? How did you get in this little arch? Where you waiting for me to come into this alley? What's your deal? OK, I am not gonna hit you this time. This one's for free. Today I'm feeling generous, but tomorrow look out.
[when he saw a D+ on his paper] Oh, I hate school. I wish I never had to go to school again.
AArnold
Come on, Harold, it's not that bad.
Yes it is! We're trapped in here day after day doing boring stuff and standing in line for cold, crappy food that they don't even give me time to eat! Oh, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I just wish there was some way to get out of school, and to get to stay home, and to be free!
Hey Arnold! · 434 quotes
