[Arnold and Harold approach]
What the devil's wrong with you two? You are not supposed to be within a hundred yards of this school!
AArnold
With all due respect, sir, according to the school constitution, article 14, section 2, paragraph 5, we are fully within our rights.
And it says here in, uh, Article 39, Section 4, when a student gets suspended, he can repeal it if there are... outside circumcisions!
AArnold
[Correcting Harold] ...stances.
...stances! Right. Outside circumstances!
AArnold
And we have here 40 pages of the material explaining why we have the rights to be back into school. Under article 39, we would like a review of our case by an outside agency.
You boys make a very impressive case. The only problem is that you are talking about an outdated school constitution from 1956. This is the current constitution, and there is nothing in here about any appeals, that's for sure.
[After Principal Wartz lifts Harold's suspension]
AArnold
Thank you, Principal Wartz. [Starts to follow Harold into the school]
Wait a minute, where are you going? [Arnold stops]
I didn't say anything about lifting your suspension.
AArnold
But Principal Wartz, I...
Just kidding. Now run along, young one! Ah, Wartzy, you've done it again. The true principal must temper justice with mercy. It's no wonder the children love and respect me.
Hey, Wartz, ya wide load! Ha ha!
That's it, young man. You are suspended!
You can't suspend me! I'm already suspended!
Well, in that case, you are unsuspended! So get back to class.
Gotta catch me first, old ugly guy! Ha ha! Ha ha!
Come back here, pal! [Principal Wartz furiously chases Wolfgang as he falls in the hole] Whoa! HAROLD?!
Uh-oh. I sense another one of your oh-so-painfully illuminating boyhood problems. Fess up, Arnold.
AArnold
It's just that Parents' Tournament Weekend is for kids and their parents, and you and Grandma are great and everything, but you're not actually my parents. I-I don't know if we belong there.
GGertie
[sympathetically] Oh, Arnold.
AArnold
Anyway, I think I'm too full for dessert. [leaves] Good night.
[After falling in the swimming hole]
AArnold
Lulu, are you okay?
LLulu
I'm oh-so-certain that I'm just fine. [sultrily] But I'd be a lot better if you'd agree to meet me later, for an ever-so-private swim...
LLulu
Perhaps around 8:30, when Arnie's asleep?
[Lulu tries to kiss Arnold]
AArnold
Lulu, what are you doing?!
LLulu
I'm certain that I'm trying to kiss you.
AArnold
Kiss me?! But you're Arnie's girlfriend! And we're nine!
[Chocolate Boy knocks on Arnold's front door, and Arnold opens it]
Arnold, I need your help. I need to get enough chocolate, no more chocolate.
AArnold
You realize, Chocolate Boy, that we've had this conversation once before.
I know, but I'm serious this time. I need to get enough chocolate. I mean, dancing for malted milk balls and digging in dumpsters. I'm like a clown, a chocolate clown. Will you help me, please?
AArnold
Well... You didn't bet Wolfgang, did you?
AArnold
So it sounds like the reason you eat chocolate is because you miss your nanny.
Yes! Yes! I miss my nanny. I miss my nanny.
AArnold
It's okay that you miss your nanny. But eating chocolate is not going to bring her back.
AArnold
She told you to be good and to be happy. What would your nanny think if she saw you now, eating chocolate out of dumpsters? And dancing for malted milk balls?
She wouldn't like it, 'cuz I'm not being good and I'm not happy.
[Arnold walks in the hallway unaware of Harold hiding under the drinking fountain and steps on his foot]
AArnold
Sorry, Harold. I didn't see you under there.
That's 'cause I didn't want you to see me, Arnold. I'm hiding.
From Sid and Stinky, and everybody else who saw that stupid jerk Patty beat me at arm-wrestling.
AArnold
What are you talking about, Harold? Patty's not a jerk, she's your friend.
She was my friend, Arnold, until she beat me.
AArnold
So, what if she beat you? What's the big deal?
I'll tell you what the big deal is, Arnold. An hour ago, I was arm-wrestling king. And now? Now, I'm just a big wuss, that everybody's making fun of 'cause I lost to a girl.
AArnold
That's completely ridiculous. I mean, who cares if Patty's a girl? She's a really good arm wrestler. Just tell Sid and Stinky to stop acting dumb.
You're not listening, Arnold! Those guys are never gonna let me live this down. Not unless I beat Patty!
Hey, Harold, what are you doing down there? Hiding from Big Patty?
You're afraid the girl's gonna find ya, and beat you up again?
[school bell rings as they laugh]
See? I told you, Arnold! [sobs] What am I gonna do?
AArnold
Well, if that's important to you to beat her, I guess you could just practice and work harder.
Practice? What are you talking about?
[Arnold is carrying "blind" Helga across the street and a taxi cab is speeding towards them]
Arnold, look out for that cab!
[Arnold jumps and they land on the sidewalk]
Whew. Good thing I saw — uh, I mean — smelled that cab coming.
AArnold
You smelled the cab?
Yeah, you know how it is when you lose one of your senses. The others just kind of kick into overdrive. [sniffs Arnold] Speaking of which, you might want to try a stronger deodorant, Football Head.
[reading journal] It was the hottest night the jungle could get when we... whoops, time for bed, Short Man!
AArnold
But Grandpa, it's only six o'clock.
Well, go order us some dinner then. [Arnold leaves, and Phil tears the page he was reading out and puts it in his pocket] Whoo, that was close.
Hey Arnold! · 434 quotes
